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Letter(s) from Ludmila Poltorzhitskaya to Jack (Holland)
Hello my lovely Jack!
Thanks for a beautiful photo.
I'm so happy to receive a letter from you. When I get it it brings me joy and highest spirit. My heart is filled with emotions though it's difficult for me to express myself in english.
I feel that every day we become closer and closer to each other. I'm sure you don't forget about me within a minute. I also think of you a lot. I think "What is He doing now? How is His day?" I really enjoy reading your letters they're so kind and full of real interest. Noone ever wrote me like you.
It's rather cool now here but I'm fond of walking in the open-air. I like nature and animals. Especially kittens and puppies. They're so marvellous! Do you like going outside? What kind of trees grow in your locality? Here there're lots of birches, maples, oak-trees and fur-trees, of course.
Today i and my Dad went to the grandmother's and he told her I'm corresponding with a foreigner. I thought she would be strongly against it but to my great surprise she wished me a good luck and heppiness. She was so glad that I'd found a person who appreciates and respect me and whom I'm so interested in. This person is you my dear Jack. I feel this way now.
We have a bath in the village. It is very popular in Russia. it' s our pride I can say. Have you heard about it? If no, I'll explain to you.
Russian bath is a small wooden building made of logs. There's a bake there and a chimney. It's very hot there about 90 degrees Celceus.
Like your sauna. We have a wash here. It's very pleasant and good for health. Especially when you dive into cold pond after this. My daddy was aganst correspondence with a foreigner but when I showed him your letters he said you're a very nice person and deserves respect . By the way, he sends his best regards to you.
He's sure we'll be close friends and we should trust each other because there's no real relationships without honesty and respect. I try not to think about a long distance between us. It's hard to me to realise that you're so far. But with every letter I feel that this distance is becoming sorter and shorter. I've never been abroad but I'm fond of travelling. So it makes no difference to me where to be happy. If it is neccessary to go on the other side of the earth to my husband, well I'll do it.
I dream of finding true love and being happy together. I think that is very important for every person. Don't you think so?
I want to find a man with strong will and good sence of humour to love and support me. I enjoy conversations with a clever and intellectual person so I'd be happy to spend hours with my husband talking in front of the fireplace.
I think it's time to finish a letter.
Write me what you think about all this.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Hi my tiger!
As usually I was expecting your letter with impatience and I'm happy to receive it! I hope you're not against my callang you a tiger?
My frinds at work say I became absent-minded as if I had fallen in love. I don't know what to tell them bacause I don't completely understand me myself. I can't think about something else but you. Jack you've really became a part of my life and I can't imagine my life without you now.
I won't live without you I'll just survive somehow. My feelings to you are really very strong I want you to know this. I'd love to meet you to talk to you face to face. It differs a lot from correspondence you know. My brother always ask about you.He knows that I wonna be with you and he wants it too. He wishes happiness to me. And to you of course. In yout letters I find smth I couldn't find in other men .
Every time I receive your letter I feel much happier than before.
I can't help thinking of you. You're so kind, intelligent and understanding... I admire you but in letters I can axpress nothing. I feel I'm so poor at english. Recently my brother asked me if I had gone to the marriage agency but I anawered thee were no need in it because I had already found a man I wonna be with. He says you're a reliable and honest person and I could be happy with you.
I must ask you one question. Do you consider our relationships to be steady? I want it so much! You have to understand me correctly, I don't mean taking you for granted, no. I want to be confident in you.
It doesn't mean that I don't trust you. Just tell me what you feel about me.
My hear beats harder when I think of you . I thinkI'm becoming like a crazy little girl raving love. First I was afraid to confess in it. I thought you would laugh at me learning it. I mean my feelings. Because I know nothing about your feelings. You may say don't know each other well enough but during our correspondence I began trusting you. I don't keep my feelings inside coz I see you won't deceive me. Even if I tried, I wouldn't be able to do it. Now I'm not shy to confess - I'm in love with you Jack and I'd love to spend my life with you. I felt ill at ease telling you it but I hope you won't break my heart. Look forward to your letter back.
Forever yours, Lyudmila.
Jack, I'm so pleased to see your letter!
And I think you'll be pleased to see mine also.
I'm okay, work takes all my time but I'm not against- I love it.
Otherwise, I 'd feel boring. I'm always happy getting a new letter from you. The only thing which makes me upset is that I can't write you as often as you write me. But I wish I could. I'd like to talk to you all the time but you know it's impossible for you and me, unfortunately. I'm so thankful to you for your writing me. Your feelings to me are very important. I'm glad that both of us feel the same way. It brings sence to my life and hope for better times. I always check my mail box expecting a new letter from you. I live with these expectations. I dreamed of you a lot. I imagined I was talking to you holding your arms and looking into your eyes. I'm absolutely honest now, that's true and I don't want to hide my feelings . I like dreaming very much. I don't know, perhaps, it's not good but I'm a romantic person who likes to dream.
Since I was a little girl, I dreamed very much. I remember pretty well our techer in school telling us to forget about our dreams because they won't do any good to us. She used to say "Draming brings only pain and disappointment when you realise that they are not a reality"
Perhaps, she was right here. Dreams don't always come true actually.
Even if you do your best to reach it. It's insufficient I think.
If you try to make your dream come true, it gives you a purpose in your life. That's essential. Not everything depands on us in this world for success. There's a destiny. And I believe there's some invisible power which makes events happen or not happen. But I think that anyway you should live with a Dream. It brings Hope. You know- if there's a will there's a way. That's one of the principles of my life.
Moreover, dreams help you to understand what you want from your life.
You start thinking everything over, analyzing you behavior, choosing the best way and making up your mind about your future actions. And then every success brings you so much satisfaction and hope that it helps you to live. Even if it's a smallest step up to your Dream. Your heart is filled with pleasure, belief and hope.
It's better to remember your victories than things that had hurt you whenever. That's why I'm fond of dreaming though they very seldom come true. I'm surprised i'm writing to you about all this. These are my inner thoughts. I think that's because I subconciously trust you.
I've never had a person I could open my heart to, I could share my feelings. But now you appeared in my life Jack and I feel you'll understand me. I'm completely open to you and I want to repeat you are a part of my life now. I must be honest I'm almost dreadful , terrified with the thought I can lose you. Forguve me all my honesty and strengh of feelings. I'm sorry if I've offended you somehow or brought any discomfort. Don't stop writing me every day if you can.
I'm sorry I can't write you very friquently. I try my hardest, really.
I hope you're ok and everything is fine. I'll wait for your letter.
I can't wait to meet you.
I'm still learning how to arrange all the documents to come to you.
Look forward to your answer.
Hello my precious Jack!
I hope my previous letter hasn't cause your confusion.
You might be surprised "Why is she so impatient?" I'm answering you that I couldn't hold these feeling in me anymore so they escaped outside. I didn't know how to tell you about it and not to look like a little girl who has fallen in love with a prince on the white horse. I was afraid you wouldn't understand me. I've never felt this way before. I think God created you specially for me, and if you even wanted it, you will be the only man I would belong to. You letters always bring comfort to my heart when I remember we're so far from each other. Those moments you seem to be so close to me. I'm sure that it'll be always warm and comfortable with you even in the coldest weather. I believe you are the man I've been searching for all my life . I'm so lonely here without you, I miss you terribly! I hold all your letters with me printed. And when I feel lonelyness I read them and realise that I'm not alone. That makes me a little bit happier.
Sometimes I think if we met somewhen and stay together even for several minutes, it would be the happiest day in my life. That's the only thing I desire. Is there any way for our meeting I wonder? I wish it was possible... Tomorrow I'll go to one of the travel agencies and find out about the possibility of travelling to your country. I must ask you before- do you object my coming to you? Let me know what you think of it, if you like the idea of my coming over there or not.
To love all ages are obedient. I completely understand your character and it makes it quite easy to me to open all my heart and thoughts to you. I believe there're four sourses love depends on: these're understanding, trust, honesty and respect. These are the main principles of love and I think noone can create love without them.
Maybe I write you too much about my thoughts but I want you to know everything about me. Of course, when two people love each other they come across some problems, misunderstanding and disappointments. But finally they come to compromises and the Big Victory what is Love and Tender Family. If you have love in your soul, you don't need anything else. Love overwhelms you and the only thing you need is to make your lover happy. I think everyone desires such relationships. I would be so happy if you could call me you great love for ages!
I would like to answer your questions:
I would like to live in your country with you.
I would not say that I was having a bad time in Kazan.
There are people who can not be trusted.
If I want to Leisure Facilities, only with you and where you like, because I have a great interest and emotion.
Yes, I have a valid passport.
If you doubt abot me, you should tell me immediately. Maybe I say smth you don't like and so on.It's important to be honest with each other.
I'm confessing I have no reason to doubt about you. Your letters are filled with such tenderness and support that I can't help trusting you in everything. I can't but say you're the most wonderful person I've ever met.
I started feeling something more than friendship to you much before but I was afraid to confess in it even to myself. It's long time ago I felt a warm feeling of love to you I guess. I'm waiting for your letter with impatience.
Tell me about your emotions.
With greatest tenderness,
Hello my Jack!
I think of you all the time missing you. You're so neccessary for me that it's difficult for me staying here alone without you. If only you happen to know how badly I wait for the time I'll be able to read a new letter from you!
Now I know I'm madly in love. I want to come to you, to hug you to feel you're real and it wasn't just a dream. I wanna be yours. My dear Jack I can't wait to be together with you. If we menaged to creat serious and trustful relationships, I would be the happiest woman in the world. I like everything in your character. have very serious intentions to you. After a long time I feel I've found someone who'll care of me and support. I'm absolutely honest with you now and I really want to spend the rest of my life with you. My feelings to you are so strong that I'm scared to death to lose you. I appreciate you so much! I need real love, trust and honesty . I begging God to give me a chance to meet you. I want to know you better and experience happiness. Maybe then we will want to creat a family and to be together forever... I talked to the menager. He was very polite and helping. I decided to sign the contract with this agency. I've already paid them the first part of money for their service. That's for visa and all other neccessary documents for my trip. It was more then I expected. I thought it would cost about $150 but unfortunately it occered to be $250 because of some difficulties I wasn't aware about.
That's not a very good news. It means that maybe my funds won't be enough for the trip. I feel shy telling you it but maybe I'll need your help with paying for the other part of the price. I still have some money left: my own and my relatives'. I'll have to pay for the insurence of the flight and for the tickets. The price of the tickets is unknown now because travel agents have to make up my route. The price depands on the distance for expence. It's difficult for me to ask you for help but I want to be honest - I don't earn much. I hope you'll understand me. I've never asked anyone for anything like this so I feel ill at ease. The only thing that makes me do it is my great desire to be with you. I hope it won't be an unsolvable problem for you. Our lifes depend for happiness on money. It's so unfair!
So that's the progress of our meeting at the . The menager says they need further information about you: your full name, home address, calling number and the nearest airport to your city. I'd be very thankful to you if you could send me this information as soon as you can. The sooner, the better.
The menager says they are responsible for all the people going abroad using their agency. After I give him all information about you he will tell me the total price of the trip. I'm sending you my address as an example of what you should send me.
Lenina, st.6, apt.177
Postal code: 420013
First name: LYUDMILA
Second name: POLTORZHITSKAYA
Kiss you my love! Wait for your letter!