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Letter(s) from Anastasia Kolimulina to Chris (USA)
Chris I have received your letter! I very strongly love you also I wish to be with you! Chris my prince I all time think of you! I cannot without you! I all time think only of you! I would give all now for that what to be with you in a place! I cannot without you my prince, I cannot without you! I so wish to be with you, I would want that we were with you in a place on always, only I and you and more who! Chris I would be happy to give birth to you to the child! I would be happy to be mum of our children and I would be happy to be your wife! Chris I wish to be with you wash prince, I all time think of you! I so wish to be with you, but I do not know that to me to do and as to me to be I all now would give! But I do not know that me to wish and as to me now to be! I all in tears! Chris my prince I spoke you, that now the most important to begin official registration of papers, which cost of 710 dollars and after my documents will be ready, I will need to buy the ticket which cost depends on the airport in which to me it will be necessary to fly! Favourite mine I need to know your nearest airport in which to me it will be necessary to fly, only then I shall know all cost of all trip! Chris my prince I understand that you will need to collect money! I understand that and it will be necessary some time! I so love you also I so I wish to be with you! Favourite mine tell to me how many to you it is necessary will time what you could collect money? If I knew, to me it would be easier! Chris my prince I so strongly love you also I wish to be with you! I cannot without you! I so am afraid of you to lose! I so am afraid of you to lose! I love you, I so wish to be with you! Chris favourite mine if I only could embrace now you and gently you kiss! I so wish to spend every day with you, I wish to prepare to eat to you, I wish to erase your clothes! I wish to look after you! Chris I love you all heart and I shall wait your letter with not impatience! I yours and only yours forever Natalya
Chris, I am very glad to see your fine letter. Your letters always bring to me a smile. I re-read your letters and I represent that that you beside and speak it to me. I am happy that soon we shall together for ever, my love. Soon we shall the happiest pair in the world. I very strongly love you!!! You my dream, I dreamed of you all life and here at last that I have found you!!!!! I waited to you all life, I stored myself for you. You that the man for the sake of which I are created. I completely belong to you!!!! You that who can make me happy!!!! Only when we shall be together we shall be the happiest pair in the world! I will be soon happy that it. I adore you Chris!!!! My prince I so hope that you can help us as soon as possible and all ours with you dreams will come true! I love you and me who is not necessary except for you! I wish to be your wife and I wish to be with you! I now would give all for that what to be with you a beside, but at me that is not present also I I do not know that to me to do and as to me to me to be! My prince I love you all heart and I very much hope that you can help as soon as possible and we at last can be with you in a place and all ours with you dreams will come true! I love you and I shall wait your letter with not patience! I yours and only yours natalya
Simply I want it will be uttered... Tears still flow on cheeks.... It is very heavy, as though someone has severely selected a part me, a heart part, a soul part... I do not know that now to me occurs... CHRIS I LOVE YOU!!! I love for your tenderness, for undestanding, for thoughts. I love you for your kindness, responsiveness, softness... But now to me it is very sad and lonely... Chris I do not know as you it is all to tell. Well... I will speak you all from the very beginning. I have gone to the airport today and there I was waited by bad news.
Chris it is very difficult to me to select words. Forgive... I was registered and at customs I was stopped by the inspector. He said to me, that I should have enough of cash or non-cash money what to fly to your country. I have been very surprised, anybody did not speak to me about it earlier. Chris I could not think at all that there can be such rule. I the truth did not know about it!!!!!! To me have told that that have entered this rule because of recent act of terrorism at the airport in Moscow. It is tragedy became the present shock for the Russian society. The international terror. The terrorism denies value of a human life. It spreads fear and hatred. It prevents to improve our world. Unfortunately any state in the world is not insured from terror. There are no universal recipes of struggle against this harm.
Chris after that act of terrorism at all airports at customs have entered a rule, that each citizen of the Russian Federation is obliged to have at itself cash. It will confirm, that I seriously am going to depart to your country and I am going to live in your country. Besides me have told that that have entered this rule because of that that some people leave there and start to steal there, the vagabond and to be engaged in protitution because they have no money for a life. I explained to them, that I am not the terrorist and I will live at you that we love one another that I will live at you and no money will be necessary for me, but at customs to me has told that that a rule exist for all and the law does not do any exceptions. I begged the inspector, I explained it that that we with you should be together and I not the terrorist, but they do not listen to me and speak me only one that rules exist for all. I love you Chris and I very much wish to be with you, but I do not know what to do. Each minute in separation from you seems the eternity, each memoirs - a pain, each letter - the hope, each separate thought - nonsense, and each breath - the last. Heart does not hear my reason, it is muffled by my grief. My heart knocks only in hope, that we will be together and fades at everyone memoirs on you. It is all pursues me and forces to consider every second in separation from you. Chris you are far... What to tell, if words are not present? What to make, if there is no possibility to arrive to you?
How to breathe, if heart does not fight? The soul has not died, it has fallen asleep and has plaintively moaned that you are not present near to me and you are far from me. I am afraid to lose you... To me it is very heavy and terrible here in the big city, I feel helpless and silly. Chris, I did not think that that I should be informed you such bad news. I thought that that all behind and before us there are no barriers more. Chris, it seems to me that I deliver you only problems, it is very heavy to me to realise it. I feel myself very guilty to you. Chris to me it is very bad, I cry at this time and me so painfully that that it not happiness and pleasure tears, and tear of bitterness and the big error. I do not know that to us to do Chris!!!! The size of the sum which should be together with my visa of 3000 dollars, and still necessary 70 dollars for registration of papers. 3070 dollars would be necessary that I could be with you. My love I do not know where to me to take such money. All that at me remains it only 184 dollars. I explained that at customs that with me happens nothing in other country and I am not the terrorist, but they speak that that rules would exist that them to carry out, instead of to stand and not to persuade them! They have told that that it is not meaningful. And that what to stand to persuade them what to avoid these rules, simply waste of time. Chris, I thought that that all will be wonderful, but now I have a problem, I do not know as me it to solve. I very much very much wish to be only with you. I all would give what to be with you. It is a pity nothing to me for the sake of our happiness.
Chris only together we will be happy. I have got tired to suffer and I wish to be happy and to do you by the happiest man in this world. I have got tired to live suffering. Chris, I love you my sun!!!! Chris, I understand you that that to you very difficult to help me especially for such short time. But as soon as I will arrive to you I at once I will give you this money. I need to show only their presence and to prove at customs that that I can live in your country. This money will not be spent. I will show them at customs and they will be with me during my flight to you. Otherwise I cannot be onboard the plane and I cannot take off to you my sun. I any more do not know that to me to do. I am in full confusion!!! If you can that help us. I very much wish to be only with you, I wish to be with you for ever. I wish to become your wife and to be always with you nearby. But I do not know that to us to do. I do not know as us it is possible to leave this position. Chris, I will not spend this money, I will need to show only them and when I will arrive to you I at once I will give to you them.
Chris, I do not understand as us further to be, I very much very much wish to be with you. My life without you is not necessary to me! I want to you Chris, my love. That is very a pity to me that so it has turned out. It is very a shame to me before you Chris! Damned terrorism. Tragedy of the modern world. Murder of defenceles people, children, women, old men - who can give such orders? Madness and hatred has lodged in their hearts. Can be at them there is no heart? Because of this harm we with you cannot be together now. The god it the judge.
I only trust. I believe, that it will not stop us and our love. I hope that that you will have time to receive my letter. Chris, I very much worry, I hope that that you can help us my love. At me all body shivers, I write you this letter shivering hands, my heart is covered with blood. To me it is very sick, Chris that I deliver you so much problems. Chris, I love, I love you and I wish to speak you it eternally!!!
Chris, forgive me my love!!!! I very strongly wish to be with you!!!! I would want that we were happy. I wait for your letter. I LOVE YOU CHRIS!!!!