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Letter(s) to Lawrence (USA)
My full name is Angie Ecel P. Santos. Born last October 16, 1978 in Clarin, Misamis Occidental. I was born and raised there as well. I am the only child. I lost my Dad when I was 9 years old. My mom raised me by herself. She did a pretty job since she was very hardworking and was able to put up with me, my needs and my schooling as well. When I was 16 years old, she found herself a man who understands her and accepted her and so they got married. Despite the new family, it was not I imagined. My step father and I really did not get along well and so my mom who was so in love with him usually take his side and not mine. I t was heartbreaking but I have no reason to complain because despite of all the problems we have in the house, my mom was still there to support me in my schooling. I had to take it all in because I do want to graduate. Which I did, with my determinations and hard work. After I graduated, my mom talked to me and she told me that since she had done her obligation to let me finish school, she was then leaving me and moving to her husbands’ place. Which without any choice, I have to live for myself and find means to survive. Then I went to Cebu City, a place which has better job opportunities and took risks here. During that time, I still was not a licensed nurse, so I had to take jobs outside my field and get my savings there for me to take the board exam. God is always good! He helped throughout my endeavor and was able to take and PASSED it! It was by far the happiest day of my life, I always thought that my sufferings ended when I got my license. I then applied to a lot of government and private hospitals only to be turned down. There were by far more applicants than I could ever imagined. I then applied as a private nurse to a wealthy family. The salary was not even near to what I needed but I had to use my head since I need to survive. I then found out that the salary in hospitals are not far from mine so I was at ease since, wherever I go, more or less, the salary was still the same. But like I said, it was not that promising, my salary was just for survival. The only time I was happy was when I was taken by my employer for a trip outside the Philippines for a few days with the rest of the family. They were kind enough to bring the whole family and so since I was taking care of one of the members, they included me and it was amazing. When the person I took care died, ( he was 82) I had no choice since they don’t need me anymore, I was jobless again. Life was even meaner since my license then expired. So without my license I was not able to practice anymore. Renewing my license needs money which I don’t have. So, I applied to different jobs here, which I was able to work for months time.
Currently, im still here in Cebu City working as a cashier in a small Chinese pharmacy. My salary is just intended for my needs and nothing more. As for my personal life, I do want to start my own family. Being 33 years old, I have realized that I do want to settle down already. Have the husband and the children that I will cherish and serve for the rest of my life. I wish nothing more but a simple life. To be a wife, a mother and to serve.
Hoping this will give you a glimpse of what I have been through, where I was born to where I am now. We are of the same page as well, I do want to find the person best suited for me. So if you think that fate has a chance for us, lets make it happen but if you also think that we don’t have a future together, you can always be honest with me as well.
My Dearest Baby Lawrence,
I am happy and glad to receive this sincere and heartfelt reply from you. I am very much pleased at the moment to know that these things are expressed and discussed. Here you will find the view of my relationship and I hope this will find a better and clear learning from you as well as would help you to continue what you have felt in your heart towards me.
About the past relationship that I had, it was such a disaster. I was lonely then. But in that loneliness I find relief, but still my hearts in pain, I'm in grief. At times, I don't know when I can see my paradise again. I'm happy outside but I have sadness in disguise. They're all gone with someone new and I'm just staring at the gloomy moon. But I won't be disappointed, I won't be sad. In time, I'll say, they weren't the best I ever had.
And now at present, I have learned to love the people who are willing to love me. Forget the people in the past and thank them for hurting me, which led me to love the people I have right now, which is you.
I had learned that the most important thing in my life is to love someone. The next important thing is to have someone to love you. But the best of all is to have the two happen at the same time.
I had only one wish, that I had met you many years ago. But of course, we could only meet when God decided that we should. My dear, I believe that everything happen ... Is for a REASON.
Baby, for me to love is to expose yourself to be hurt. Its a risk that we must take, if we wanted to find real happiness for there is no permanence without commitment and there is no lasting lovewithout Constant sacrifice. Agree my dear?
I never plan to meet you; I never expected knowing you either. It is such a very nice way that expectations exist because I never expected that I would care and interested this way. I always hope and pray that our relationship would never end, that it will lasts and never fade.
In this point of my life, I find happiness with you around. I am inspired and have learned to become a strong person with your thoughtful words, concern, understanding and most of all LOVE. I hope and pray that you wouldn't leave me whatever may came along.
I believe that the greatest gift that a person can give to someone is TIME. When you give your time to someone, you are giving them a portion of your life that you can never get back. And you did give it to me. A million thanks again.
Big THANKS: for going out of your way to make time for me. For giving so freely and putting my mind at ease. And mostly, for being the kind and loving person. And for letting me stay in your heart as your new girl friend. I hope it will be forever.
In this point of my life, I'm not looking for anyone else. Im always willing to wait for the right person to come along; no matter how long the time and how far is a distance. I do believe that LOVE is not finding the right person but creating the right relationship. Its not how much love we build in the beginning but how much LOVE we build till the END. TRUST and FAITH must be there and the communication is one of the way to have a long lasting better relationship.
I want you to know that I cant compete with others just to have you completely because I have nothing to impress you, for you to stay here beside me even if you far away. All I have is my sincere LOVE which will lead me to do anything to make you happy.
Always remember, that the secret of lifeis not just to live but to have something worthwhile to live for. We only live once. But if we live and love right, one lifetime is ENOUGH.
Ponder this Baby; in my entire life, Ive earned no trophies, medals, and recognitions. But in my heart, to be your friend and your partner... Is my GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT... YOU ARE MY BEST TROPHY.
Ill be keeping you in my heart and in my soul. So I think I have to end up my letter right now and I hope this can put a very big smile in your heart and in your face. Take care always cause I care and God bless! I Love you very much baby…