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Letter(s) to Nick (USA)
My dearest Nick, you know, I remember myself when i was a kid, and i realize now, that even a gift under the New Years Tree i was expecting with less impatience than your letters)
Actually i am waiting for your letters, as well as for spending time together with you. I just love it - being with you))) Baby, i am addicted to you:) Have you heard this famous Shakira's song??
> I like the way you write letters. Your style is excellent. You are a
> street smart and very intelligent. I know that i will have nice time
> with you. You are funny and full of fun
I am glad to hear all this from you:)) Thank you for your nice words and compliments to me!
The longer we are communicating, the more addicted I am becoming to you!! Normally I can live without you for a day because I read some of your letters again, look at some of your pictures... But when I have to miss you for a day or two . . . well, it gives me an empty feeling, if to be honest, because you managed to change me.
And you made me such a happy woman or should I say girl?? I am not sure myself because in age I am a woman but some of my feelings as a girl are coming back . . good feelings, happy feelings and excited feelings.
Somehow I am still the young girl full of expectations of life which is ahead of her but life taught her that some things you can’t control in life and you have to deal with them when they appear...
Life taught her that friendship and relationship is a gift and you can’t force or push to get it. It is there or it isn’t!! But I also believed that one time I would find happiness . . . well, of course I had moments in my life that I was ready to give up. Such moments I had mostly in the evenings when during the day a lot of bad things happened at the same time. But when I woke up the next morning, almost always I saw a new day with new chances and new gifts . . sometimes very small or even tiny gifts but if you were able to notice it, it were gifts. To meet you here proofs that gifts really exists . . . yes baby, I mean YOU!
I wish i was getting only good gifts in my life, but we both know that life is not a bed of roses, and when something good happens, something bad happens then in a very short time. Today we had meeting of the whole members of the stuff! And our director announced that according to the new Tax Code, which has been accepted recently, the social help is already unprotected by this law. It means that my job is not important for our state, and my salary would be reduced! I realize it very well now - very bad when you work in a public institution, because in time of crisis government trying to reduce expenses, using different ways, including people of my profession. My salary is not high now, but if it is cut really i do not know what i will do. I will barely have enough money for life...
The most cruel in this situation is that i might to lose you, because i do not know if it is possible for me in the nearest future to visit this cafe and to continue to pay for the translation. I have collected some money, and for sure i will use them for the correspondence with you until i will find second job, which will allow me to keep stable income at the same level as i have now. But i think that i will not have a chance to write to you as often as before! I am so scared and disappointed because of all that, and i can't afford myself to ask you for help, because we are not even a couple yet, so why would you help me then? Second job is the only one alternative... Tomorrow i will buy gazette and will look for some options. I work from 8 till 5 at my regular job, so i need to find something for evening, something like 6-10 in the evening will be ok for me. Well, i will have to see what is in offer, and then i will decide.
I miss you my dear, i miss you very much! Just want you to know this... I do not want to stop this letter really honey, I just want to be together with you... but i need to go - as my job today is not yet finished, i have couple of addresses where i need to go and to check the situation - two families are waiting for me... Sending you my kiss, thinking of you, and waiting for your letter tomorrow, yours Elena!