Letter(s) to Ejaz (India)

Letter 1

Hello Ejaz.
It was very pleasant for me to see, that you have again written to me. I again want again and to receive from you letters. It is pleasant for me, that you have not disregarded my letter to you.
I want, that you would know all about me. In the last letter I have written to you about the education. I have written to you about the one as whom I work. I want to tell you, that I work in a "sweet" place. I work at confectionery factory. This state enterprise, therefore to prove is not enough opportunity. Financing on this factory does not act, therefore want to close this enterprise. There is open one question: where there will be to work those who worked at this factory earlier? Simply at us in city individual confectionery factories, bakeries have opened many. It becomes simple state to contain own factory not favourably. Because from the private person the state receives taxes, and the state will not levy taxes from itself. Therefore now I search for a new place of work. It is possible to turn out to arrange with the bookkeeper in a private concern or the organization. There may be I shall work with the cousin together. he works in a private concern. At all I do not know, how it is possible to name his work. he very much organized person. At him it is so much a lot of energy. he has time to make for day so much. That I simply am surprised, as he has time to make all this. I am sure, that the brother will help me. he offered me to work together with him, but I was afraid, that I can not so work, as he. But now I should listen to him. Externally with the brother I am not similar. To him 27, and he looks very youngly. Anybody never might tell his valid age. I think, that was lucky him: he can remain externally young longer. But it seems to me, it is more important that. As you feel inside. The soul may be always young. To my mum now 50 years, my aunt - 51 year. In the last letter I promised to write to you about the girlfriend. She has left abroad. Earlier we with her were the best girlfriends. But now she it is far from me. But between us the friendship all the same proceeds. I sometimes can call her. Sometimes she writes me letters. I miss on her. She very good person. She also has advised me to try to find the happiness in such way. Earlier I did not trust in it. But my girlfriend - the direct proof of that such happens. I hope, that I can meet her soon. She may not go here frequently. My girlfriend - not the mercenary person. Many girls simply specially get such acquaintances what to leave abroad. Or money are simply necessary for some. But my girlfriend actually has grown fond of the future husband. I can not tell, that they live smartly. No, they do not have superfluous money. he works at two works. She too works. The truth she may not earn many money yet because she not so well talks in English. Money were not necessary for her. She knew, that she too should earn. She knew, that it is necessary sometimes herself in something to limit. But she has gone to him because of love. I am happy, the word of honour am happy for the girlfriend. I believe, that at her all will be good. The most important, that she has found the loved person. she was prevented by a difference in languages, color of a leather, distance. her husband - black.
As I shall recollect the girlfriend and her beloved then on soul becomes so well. I am glad for her and for him. I present, as it is good. To find the happiness in life. Excuse, I write you that to you may be in general uninteresting. Simply I should speak about it. It seems to me, that love sooner or later, comes to everyone. You know, I have one dream. In the last letter I wrote to you that be able to play on a piano. Sometimes in foreign films show restaurants in which there is a piano. Some of visitors may play on this tool. It looks very beautifully. At me dream such: I would like as to play on a piano. Because it is very beautiful in my opinion. But at us in city is not present such. May be only in the big cities there are such restaurants in which there is a piano. But it only my dream. And at present I have one desire. To find the happiness. Simply I do not want to be one. It seems to me, that that question why I want to find the loved person abroad, instead of in the country might interest you. I can answer you this question. At me it is impossible to find here to itself loved. At me is good familiar a male. At all I do not know, how to you it to explain. Simply the man in Russia uncivilized, thoughtless. It is difficult to find the present the man. Russian men to be afraid of the responsibility. They can not solve complex a question. It is necessary to do to the woman of one much. Many men because of failures begin to drink. To create strong relations with such person it is simply impossible. Men in Russia may not watch themselves. It is simply unpleasant to communicate with them. In Russia it is very difficult for women. It seems to me, that the man should be strong, he should be able to supervise. The man should be engaged in the greater degree in material questions, than the woman. And the woman is made responsible for education of the child, all that is connected to a family life is a business of the woman. If such situation turns out, that the man may not itself completely is independent provide family the woman should him help. In this case the man should help in all to the woman. Russian men may not understand, that we would like love, heat. I can not tell to you it on a paper. That it to understand some time Russian men would be necessary to communicate. And then all becomes clear. That the husband beats the wife seems to me abnormal. But Russian men and do. They simply use that we are weaker, we may not answer them same. I do not want to myself such nightmare. My girlfriend is happy. She is pleased with that has found such the man. Gold mountains were not necessary for her, she wanted usual love.
I too do not want money, I do not want riches. How my future spouse will concern to me will be important for me, whether he will love me? In Russia many consider, that it is possible to buy absolutely all for money. But it not so. Love you will not buy money. I have one familiar which did not love the husband. Is more exact to tell, that has passed time and she has met another. And her husband very strongly loved her, he was very rich. he tried to leave the wife any way: gave her very expensive gifts, filled up with money. he thought, that she with him remain, but it has even more offended her. She asked him divorce, she did not ask anything. At divorce the wife has the right to receive half of property. And her husband had very good property. But she wanted only divorce. She spoke, that it is not necessary to her of anything: with what she has come with that she and will leave. The husband did not agree. Then she has told, that itself personally will write the application and will take away from him half of property. The husband thought, that his wife so will not make. he thought that she with him remain. But my girlfriend has made so, she has submitted itself the application. And in three months became free. But essence in that. That money were not necessary for her. She wanted freedom. She wanted to love. She was not kept with the big money.
That's all. Probably. There may be I have written much that is not interesting to you. Forgive for it. There may be my letter boring. I simply wanted, that you have understood me. I hope, that you are fast to me again will write. I wait for your letter.

Letter 2

Hello my dear EJAZ
Today simply awful weather. I so would not like to leave on street. In the street the strong wind, goes snow. And this snow beat me on the person. Want to tell, that it is not so pleasant. But I have gone what to write to you the letter. Because I wanted to write to you the letter. I wanted to read your letter. It is very pleasant for me, that you have again answered me. I want, that you would continue to write to me letters. I want to know about you more.
I have small news. I have decided to get to myself a dog. I very much like dogs. I too love cats, only not all. I do not like those cats who are scratched. I love tender cats. But I would like to have a dog more. I was not defined yet with breed. But I think what to get a dog of the small sizes. In the following days off I shall go to choose a dog. The heaviest for me, it to choose to the pupil a name. It is so much many names, but it is necessary to choose only one. I want a house to have a small dog, it is necessary, that it would be the boy. I think. That dogs very clever. I had earlier dog. It was my best friend. It was very tender dog. Each animal has character. Dogs same are clever, as well as we. They only are not able to talk. Dogs sometimes and without words understand us. Dogs know, that it is necessary to rescue people to protect if there is a danger. But you see it nobody spoke them. They I know, that it is good and that it is bad. These are clever essences. The dog becomes a member of family. The dog realizes, how the certain person concerns to it. It is necessary to love the one whom we have tamed. And we in the answer for them. For all that we do for them they pay to us in the love. We too should not forget that we are necessary for them.
You know, it was always interesting to me, that such love. I till now can not find to this an explanation. Many people and do not meet love for all life. I think, that the love happens only time in life. For me in life the most important to find the love. Without it will fail good life. Many people do not understand, that all blessings it not the most important. Love and soul for money you will not buy. It is possible to buy for money, figuratively speaking, the beautiful wife. But to love it you not begins. Appearance and age of the person is not important. Most important it to like and be able to give the love. Not many think as well as I and if think as but a little who does as thinks. Simply nobody understands up to the end, that we live for the sake of love. When you like, it is noticed by all around. You and itself become kinder. It seems to me, that it is very difficult to live without love. You see the love is capable of much. I want to understand, that such love.
Today I have learned, that my girlfriend was delivered in hospital. Last night she has got in failure. She with the company went for city. In the machine was five persons. I shall not write to you a detail of failure. Girlfriends have sewed mine in parts. It is improbable, that she will survive. And if she also will survive, she it will be simple a plant. I communicated with her sister, her of 18 years. At her sister the big bruise near an eye and she because of it is upset, cries. She yet does not know, that her sister may die. Still she does not know that three guys who went together with them in the machine were lost. I at all do not want will represent that with her when she about it learns. So it is hard to realize, that near to you there is no person. Still yesterday you saw him, and today already are not present. And he never will return. It is awful. I knew these guys. Now all night I shall think of it. Can not fall asleep. Simply it is very hard for me. It is hard to lose close people.
Sometimes we are upset because of such trivialities when near to us there are simply awful things. Never you know that with you will take place tomorrow. We in city in the beginning had very many failures. Because not all drivers had time to change wheels of the machines. You see because of nonsense people lose life. I shall not write you more about it. Because to me it becomes very sad. I think, as it is not so interesting for reading you.
Tomorrow I shall go to buy a gift to the relatives. I even do not know, that to me to buy. I do not know, that to me to present mum. My mum for a long time wanted a dress. I think, that I shall invite her in shop simply to try a dress. I think, that something is necessary for her is pleasant. And then I shall buy to her this dress. My mum not begins to buy to itself a dress. And what to present other relatives? Nevertheless to choose a gift difficultly. And what you would want to receive as a gift this year?
Dream yesterday has dreamed me. In this dream I was very happy. I do not remember from what I was happy. But I was surrounded with strangers. But all concerned to me well. I knew only one person from all. But I did not see the person of this person. But I knew. That it is the native, close person for me. To me gave gifts. It was any holiday. But I have run away from this holiday with this person close to me. I only wanted to lift a head to see the person of this person. But at this time the alarm clock began to ring. Simply dreams which then occur in a reality frequently dream me. I hour see such dreams. There may be I sometime shall understand, that it was for dream. Sweet, on it I shall finish the letter. I would like to continue the letter. But I very much would like to go home. Simply I today was upset because of happened with my friends. I all as shall wait for your answer. I tomorrow want to see your letter again.

Letter 3

Hello my dear Ejaz
I today thought all day of you. I thought that you might write to me in the letter. I very much wanted, that you again would write me the letter. I have not noticed as have come in Internet - cafe. Because all road I thought of you. At work I too thought that I shall write to you today. I did not know, with what to me to start the letter to you. Because I want to express the feelings in this letter. I want to write to you that occurs to me recently. I would want that you have correctly understood me.
To tell the truth, I do not know, that to me now to write. I would like to feel you. I want to know, that you near to me. I want to know, that you will not leave anywhere. It is important for me to tell to you that you me very to like. I want to continue our correspondence. But I think, that between us may be not only correspondence. There may be something the greater. I want, that you would understand me. I do not know, whether I correctly can be expressed. I want to tell you, that I have to you certain feelings. I know it. I am sure in it. I hear that speaks me my heart. And I want to tell you about that. That at me now in soul. I test to you feelings. You to like me. I want to tell, that my feelings it not simply sympathy. It something the greater. I never before with anybody would not like to communicate how I would like to communicate with you. I might not find such person who will be interesting to me how you. I again and again would like to read your letters. I want again and to receive your letters again. That you continue to write to me is pleasant for me. I and further want to learn you better. To me everything is interestingly, that occurs to you. I want to learn you completely. I do not know, how you will react to my letter. I want, that you would understand me correctly. I want the greater, than simply correspondence. I want reciprocity. I do not want to hold in myself the feelings. I want to speak you the truth. Because you to me are not indifferent. I want to tell you, that you are necessary for me. I want to continue our relations. I want to create with you serious relations. I never before did not meet such person with whom would like to create serious relations. At me it was simple not such person in life. Me frequently deceived. I do not want, that me would deceive. I want to hear from you only the truth. This truth is necessary for me. Because I hope that at us with you it will turn out to continue our relations. I do not want to stop only on it. I might not find loved. I saw in men of that. On whom I can rely. I did not meet before such. But you not such as all. May be still bad I of you know. But what to grow fond a lot of time would be not necessary. At us with you ahead still it is a lot of time, that we might learn each other. Therefore I ask you. That you would write to me only the truth. I still never liked. But now it seems to me, that I know that such to like. I want to learn this feeling. I want to love. If the person likes - that he is happy. I want to be happy. I want to be happy with you. I want to divide the love with you and only with you. I do not know, that you will write to me in the answer. I am afraid, that you will not understand me. I want to see reciprocity from your party. Because I have opened to you the soul. I speak you the truth. And all my words is a truth. It that now in my heart. I believe you. I trust you. I would like to receive in the answer too most. I want trust from your party. That you will answer me my letter is important for me. It is important for me to know everything, that occurs to you. I want to know you completely. There may be I can not express you all feelings. There may be it at me it is impossible. But in the following letters. I shall write to you about everything, that occurs to me. And then you can understand me. I do not want to hide about what I want to speak all. I want to share the ideas with all. I am happy, that I have met. I am glad to ours with you to acquaintance. You are interesting to me. It is not simple words. I want serious a relations with you.
I do not know, that I can write to you still. My hands may not write, because I worry. Now today can not sleep. Because I shall be again and to think of you again. I shall think that you will write to me in the answer. I can not sleep today. Because you to me are not indifferent. I want to see you near to myself. On it I shall finish the letter. I shall wait for your answer. I want to receive mutual feelings.

Letter 4

Greetings my lovely I is again very happy that again can read your wonderful letter. Loved I want to take an interest as you, as your health, what weather at you. Lovely I to me so would be desirable to be near to you, you may not present it at all. But I can and from it to me become very sad. Usually I think of it when I lie down to sleep. When there comes evening in a room it becomes very dark. Darkness very strong thing and frequently from it people are mad, but it not about me because I shall go from mind from love to you. Some people may think about me something bad because difficultly to imagine as you are possible to grow fond of which persons at all do not know, and the more so never saw, but it not about me because through the letters you give me very much and only due to them I can wake up and fall asleep each day, understanding that I am very happy. Loved I and itself have never believed in that that it is possible to find the second half in such way, but ours with you love an example to this. My love to you so is strong what very difficultly to put into it in a word because anything in comparison with feelings because feelings need to be lived to understand them how you think why so poorly which people count words without feelings? I think that him badly from that that they may not feel feeling of love, friendship and all rest, in my opinion it is very important to feel all. You see when you malicious it too feeling and from it to you become easier, when you may be released for a rage because you all may tell and from it to you it becomes easier. Lovely for example when to me I was very bad begin to think about you and from it to me become very warm on my soul and I do not think of my problems because I leave in my dreams and I live our life which may come very soon therefore that we shall aspire to this. And why we to this aspire? I think because we are held very much with strong feeling. I did not know all over again that it for feeling, but now I understand it. In the beginning I simply should think of you because you already lived in my head, in my dreams, and then I simply ran from my work to see your letter and to read those wonderful things which you to me wrote. Then I might not fall asleep without that dream of that that we with you together that you embrace me and gently care of me, and now I have found a word which describe all that that I to you feel it love and she is so strong that at me is held the breath, you for me began as air and consequently when you are not present beside to me very difficultly to breathe, but in such cases I come in the Internet of cafe and begin to re-read all your letters then write you all that that is in my head. I know that you as may not breathe without me because you feel the same because we with you it is not simple people, we with you a single whole and we can not live the friend without the friend because we may live only the friend the friend and from it I become very strong because I know that in this huge world there is such person which may not fall asleep because I am in his ideas and imaginations. Loved you as are happy as well as I? I think what yes because we speak each other all and consequently between us such feeling as trust arises, and it is very important, because on trust all is under construction. Lovely I very much like all that about what you to me tells, therefore I want you to ask that you spoke me all that is in your head because I do it and from it we learn each other better. Lovely to me that is pleasant to write to you that I begin to forget about that that to me is necessary to work or do something, you take away me all and I of nothing can do with it because it is pleasant to me. I like to be given to you completely, I want that you owned me, my soul, my body and my consciousness. I do not know what for I it I speak, but it is the truth, and I want that you knew that I think concerning you and that is very important for me. Lovely and you sometime thought of that that your consciousness completely will be obedient to me, because I always in your ideas. I with you when you at work when you sleep or accept food or a bath? Is not present because as it is possible to think about such, this very fascinating feeling for me and you because I did not think that can be happy, because I love persons which very far from me because you live the life, but I there am present completely I grasp your consciousness. But all the same you not with me, you not beside you may not embrace me, may not press me to the body, you simply dream of it precisely as well as I, but it does us happy because our consciousness is connected also we we may not the friend without the friend. Lovely I would like to write to you eternally but I can not, because I should think of that that I need to work and feed myself and to do all that I might continue our dialogue because I should pay for it and consequently I should work. Loved I shall think of you and to wait from you for the letter because it will be my drink of air, and without air I simply shall die, and I should live, because I have found the happiness and I should care of you.
For ever your Marina.

P.S. FULL DETAILS:

First name: Marina
Last name: Vidyakina
Address: Russia
Mari-El
Yoshkar-Ola
post/code 424000
Russia
Pervomayskaya street
house 179
flat 39