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Letter(s) to Mike (USA)
I admit, it is difficult to do a step. The first step to acquaintance (smile). And if you knew, now my fingers, hands shiver much, heart fights strongly, and I sometimes miss, and I do not get on keys when I print to you this letter.
Strange thing the Internet. Earlier, it was necessary to receive the letter to wait to week, or it is more. And now, they can instantly come to the addressee.
So, forgive, likely I bear bosh. I simply first time write the letter, and first time have made that that mad. Believe, to write to the man from other country it... For me it is the most mad act in a life which I could make. But I have made it. Whether and long thought it is necessary to answer you!? Believe, it was difficult to come in the Internet of cafe the second time. But time I here, I see your letter, I see, that you much in confusion, and you have many questions. And I will try to answer you them.
It allow me to be presented again. My name is Leonsia, the name is given me by my parents at a birth. And it means - a miracle. I was the long-awaited child, and for my parents there was "miracle" my occurrence. I one in a family. One child.
Grew and live in Turkmenistan. The big beautiful country. The truth, at us in the country is more than deserts, than woods and lakes. But nevertheless, there are places which can cause interest. I love the country. And I likely would tell to you more, but it very long (smile). And thanks the Internet, I have found a site about my country, and I wish to give you it that you could learn, see it, and it is a lot of understand the main thing. To understand who I. After all, I can personally understand on you, that you more me understand and understand the Internet. (Smile).
That. I think at you there is a question where I have found your address? And in general why I write to you?
Why I write?! The truth I do not know. Fairly! At us in a city where I live, the new cafe has opened. On the ground floor they have made cafe and the Internet, and nearby there was not a big office where it has been written "two hearts, Two friends" and I do not know what for I have gone there! I do not know, I have simply come, me a distance what that the catalogue, I have looked through, and then, they have given me your address of mail. And I have gone to the next building and have written the first letter, and have sent a photo.
I do not know why but I felt silly (Smile), I thought, that your answer will be another. What that like - you the madwoman? You who? Do not write to me here!
But is not present, your answer. Now I see, that your answer another. Good. And I have decided to continue to write to you. Again. I hope, what you not against?! I ask do not hesitate, to speak me the truth. If you do not wish to communicate, or is simple at you there are more important issues I will understand. Tell STOP, and I more you will not disturb. Also forgive, if my letter was a problem, or I to create to you problems, I did not want. As I already spoke, it is my mad act. And I feel is not comfortable much.
But! (Smile) if you nevertheless wish to communicate, learn each other more it not a problem. New acquaintances, friends, unless it is bad? I think, that was not present. To learn the person from other country, other "world". It is interesting to me. And if as it is very interesting to you, I will be glad to answer you again.....
I think, that as soon as I will come in the cafe Internet again I will see your answer (smile). And all I will understand.
On it I to finish my letter, and to wish your of good luck, and happy day.
New day. The new letter, also that that new in my life. And this your letter! It is pleasant to go to the cafe Internet, and it is pleasant to understand, that I am am waited me by your new letter. In which I learn something more. New sheet of the book which I now read. Also I learn it is more... More about you, your life. And likely for me, it not only knowledge of the new world, a life. And the most important thing new in my life. The friend. From other country which can share with me than that new! And it so grasps spirit.
Today I had a usual day on work, anything interesting. I think as well as in my life. It will be difficult to learn for me that that new, or that that can happen in my life, what that event, or that that to exchange. (Smile), I start to think, that it is more similar to a fantasy. Which I sometimes read. And to share with you it is not necessary in the simple afternoon in which was not that interesting I think. Also I think, that it will not cause in you interest. But believe, if that that is new, I certainly to share with you!
The mood good, weather does not vary (smile), and I again can speak with my friend. The friend from other country, other world, other life.
How you, how your affairs? Also can at you there is that that new? Or what that changes? I think that your life on much more colourful than at me. And at you to eat than share?! Believe, it will be interesting to me, even if you had a simple day, for me, it is interesting. To learn other life, other world. To learn it. I with pleasure would read it in your letters.
As I already said, that I work as the children's psychologist, in not big city Seydi. It not the big city also believe to pass it completely it is necessary no more than 20-30 minutes (smile). There is a school, hospital and as you likely have understood, I work there.
Not far from me there is a park where I run, go in for sports I spend a free time. Even sometimes I read books there. In it there is that that fine. To read on fresh air. To plunge into the world of books, in the world of imagination of the author.
Yes, has forgotten to speak to you that I love! More precisely that to me to like to do! A hobby.
At many they different who that likes to look cinema who that to float. And I like to listen to music, good music. I respect all styles of music, and on it I listen to that to me to like. And that you understood my world, (music world) much. I will tell to you some groups and executors which to me very much it is pleasant.
For example Roxette, Aerosmith, Michael Jackson, Ludovico Einaudi.... And many other things.
I read books, thereby I try to "escape" from the real world. Yes, in the world of books on much more interesting than my daily life. I prepare. The truth I do for myself it, but that that sometimes would be desirable to try new on taste, for example salad, or soup, I love it. Also I find recipes in books, and now to me have prompted, that it is possible to do it on the Internet. Yes, on the Internet on much more recipes than in books (smile).
And I am final for a healthy way of life. No, I do not eat only a grass as a small animal (smile), I eat meat, I eat fruit and vegetables. I simple as many girls on the earth. As many people. And having approached to a mirror I see myself, instead of whom that another.
Still I very curious. And it to like me. To like to learn new, to share a life, past, present.
I read that the person, as a vessel. It is filled in the course of time. Histories, problems, a pain, the pleasure, all it fills a vessel. Time, when it already full also comes. And when you with anybody cannot share it the vessel will break hurting. I think, that you as to have that what you would wish to share. Or to talk about it. I understand, that we badly know each other. But in it also there is an interest, we in other countries, other "worlds". Also it is not necessary to be afraid, that who that learns about it. I am able to hold secrets, and I can understand the same much.
Likely I will begin. So it will be easier for us.
I will start to share past about which sometimes it would not be desirable to recollect, think, and in general to speak. Do not think, that I am young, do not think that I do not know that such mental anguish. And to that I already many have passed, I and said to you, that it is not necessary to play. It is sick.
It is difficult to live, when you do not have very much close friend, the loved one who could understand you....
I said to you, that I am lonely now! But it was not always. Once I was happy, I loved, and loved me. I had a man, there was a husband. There was a family. This moment in my life was likely one of the best. I was happy, I knew for the sake of whom I live. For the sake of whom I inhale this air! But this moment remained in the past. Which not to return any more when.
The life, destiny has taken away it from me. Visors so quickly, that I have not had time to say goodbye. To take pleasure in minutes which we could spend together. Both me it was very heavy, sick. And I would like to share with you about it. That you understood me.
In my religion the girl when not to choose to itself the man. It "sell". And if to be more exact, my father, my family itself searched for the husband for me. And it very much offended me. I read much and represented the life, love other, and understood, that I will not be happy if I can not love!
And as soon as they have found it, the husband for me, I should marry. And in most cases the man on is much more senior. And sometimes the girl did not see it before the wedding. So was in my case.
I did not know who it, I did not know, that will be with me. I had a big rage on parents, I wished to be happy, and wished to marry on love, at my own choice. But my parents did not listen to me. I was ready to run away, but it was not possible to me. I could not make it. I have been offended on everything, for the whole world. I did not know that to me to do, day of wedding came nearer, and to me all became worse. And I was ready to pass a side.... But could not.
When I have learnt that to my husband of 45 years I was in a shock, to me was then 18. I thought that it is old, it angered me. And I could not stop some tear for a rage, from a pain that I tested then. I did not want this wedding.
But it has taken place. And I that could not do with it! I sat suppressed, and sad all the day long. I knew, that this night I am am waited by to what I was not ready! And the more so... With which person I do not love. The first night of the husband and the wife.
But by the evening when all has ended, it has not touched me! At all has not touched. It has sat down with me nearby, and has told, that will wait. To wait it is so much, how many it is required. He and itself did not want this wedding, but such are traditions, and it the same that could not correct. And he understood me.
There were days, weeks. It did to me gifts, helped me with meal cooking, in house cleaning. We have started to go to the cinema, listen together to music, he has learnt me to love music, good music. Sometimes he played to me the piano. And he to understand in art. That it seemed to me a rarity for men!
It was very lovely, kind to me, he loved me. Understood, regretted and always listened. We could talk, walk, enjoy simply hours a life. Also dreamt of children. Dreamt to have the big family. But all remains only in dreams. And children at us was not.
And once I have told to it, that I am ready... It is ready to be with it and to divide a bed. To execute of what I was afraid and did not want. I have grown fond of it. I likely will not tell a detail. (Smile).
Seven years. I am so much time was happy with it. But then deadly illness has taken away it. All was very quickly, he at first said, that all will pass, that everything is all right. Said, that likely he has caught a cold. But for 3 day to it it was very bad, I have followed the help. But was already late. Its heart has stopped. It has not sustained illness.
It did not become. He has died. My love, my dreams also has died, my world has failed.
To me it was very sick. I did not know, that to me to do. As to me to live. I loved. To me it was very good with it, I knew that I not one, with me it always was a number it. But it any more did not become.
After his death, I tried to find to myself a consolation. I have left in other city. Earlier I lived in city Serhetabat. I could not remain there. All reminded of it. I could not see whom. I did not wish to communicate with anybody. I was closed from all world. I spent a lot of time in work, went in for sports, and thought, that I can go through it. But I understood, that every day, each week, year, to me all is more difficult. Since then there have passed many years. But in my heart there was an emptiness. I did not have friends, was not whom. And all who showed to me attention.... They pushed away me. I think that when I do not can to love any more.
And in my environment there were no men very long. Likely for the last years, you I first with whom communicate more than 5 minutes (smile). And likely on it I have chosen you. You from other country, you one, and likely the same are necessary to you the friend. To which you could talk simply. About all. And to share a life.
And even the friendship, can sometimes close heart wounds. The truth or not, but I trust in it. I dream that when be I again I will be happy, I will love again. But I am afraid that it will not be. But unless it is impossible to dream? (Smile).
Because if simply to dream, when the dream does not become real. And if you struggle to go to dream you will be always waited by success. And in your life that has occurred? Why you one? And whether there is at you a hindrance what to me only 31 year?
What dream at you? Whether you were happy, how I? You loved very strongly?
It seems to me, that in a life that that lost everyone. And these losses do to us a pain on heart not looking that this "wound" can be very old, and it was so a long time, as not to recollect. But a pain, it does not release when. And that this pain was not, we should close these "wounds". And it is not important. Who will help you the friend from other country, or the friend which becomes than that more...
I do not know that you want from our dialogue. And very much I hope, that you do not think of game with me. You do not think how still to make to me more painfully. And we with you can be on friendly terms, be good friends.
And now I think, that you understand, that I have already tested a pain. Also I know, that this such. And you at least because of respect to that I the girl, you will not do to me a pain by words.
Yes, and again my letter has turned out very big. I hope, that you will not get tired it to read. Also you know, I think, that
I will wait for your letter again.
Greetings, how your affairs? How there was your day, how your mood? Day is fine. I see your letter, and with pleasure I wish to share with you my thoughts. I do not know, there will be it again the big letter or I can tell in brief, but I do not wish to miss what that of a detail. And on it, I already said to you, that letters... These are books, unless there are books from 2-3 offers?! As far as I know, that they are not present (smile). Also would like, that also you understood it, and shared with me.
I had time to think that I spoke to you! Also told about the past, about "wound" which when will not release me. And all time had an effect. It is strange, when you see happy people, to see, how they are glad, happy when they together. And they do not understand, that this moment cannot be eternal. And who does not know, that can happen in 5, 10, 20 minutes.
Probably its contacts, the last that you will test its kiss.
But even I have found that has given to me much in it. That does all painfully - does us more strongly. And now, I more strongly than earlier. Now I look at this world on another. And I have understood that I want. I wish to live. (Smile).
I all thought, and reflected, asked a question, whether it is necessary to you to tell all it. To share the problem. Now, when we about the friend the friend know very little! Whether it is necessary so to trust you?!
Sometimes I have more than questions than answers. And it forces me to find answers. To reflect, and to think. It is possible to tell, now it forces me to live (Smile).
And here I have come to answers. Likely you should know it. To know about me, that now occurs to me. I already said to you in the the last letter, that I the simple girl, mortal, and am difficult to find words that you understood, that I do not try to be above whom that. And I hope, that you will understand me me, will understand also why I write to you. I share all it.
Because to hold in itself I is simple I can not. Very difficultly when at all to whom to tell about itself. About the problems. Especially I understand, that we so far apart, that can be so, that tomorrow you or I, simply we will not want to write. And all! And it is more that. So even is easier, you so do not think? What for you our dialogue? And in general, you wish to learn about my problems, the past? And whether you are is final ready to share the problems, and the life.
You know, do not think, I not so am lonely, I have a girlfriend (than that it is more, is simple friends), it as to have a grief, I have got acquainted with it when it has resulted the daughter in me. We with it have made friends, and some years we try to be on friendly terms, communicate. And to help each other. She understands me. It the same to lose the husband. And her daughter, very long worried it. And on it, it has come to me. And I in every way tried to help it. To help her daughter to accept that more her father will not come home, and that that cannot be changed. Likely this most difficult in my work to speak to children the truth because of which they will have tears. But this life, and I that I can not change. And now sometimes we see, communicate.
The past, very long does not release whom. It always sits deeply in heart, and waits for the moment to "remind" of itself. And these minutes, there should be a friend. The person whom it will tell to you that only the past, and that not to return it. And is even worse when you lose whom that the person close to you. That who understood you, listened, loved. It is very difficult. But time... It treats wounds, it forces to see the world on another. To see pleasure, happiness. And my work rescues me.
Sometimes I would not like to recollect the past. But there I had a lot of pleasure. It is a lot of happiness. And on it it is very difficult to release it, to release the past. The moments which actually were the happiest in my life. Likely now I should release nevertheless it how you think? Whether it is necessary to forget about the past?! Whether it is necessary to hope for the happy future?
Today I played work with children. I saw their smile, saw their pleasure, heard their laughter. To me was so warmly. Before I was not familiar with you, only work rescued me. Only warmly children, heated to me heart. Gave me pleasure. Helped to smile. Therefore I very much love my work. This my rescue, it that gives me interest in a life. And let there are moments which to force me to speak the truth, thereby to do a pain to children, I all the same try to speak more good news, and to solve their "problems". You likely do not guess, that children have on much more problems, than at adults (smile). Same it will be necessary to dare with whom you to dance, and to whom you will sit next (smile) because can take offence, that you have not sat down near to the friend (Smile). Here and I try to solve them.
Tell to me more about your work, you love it, to you brings this pleasure?
The past..... Even now, thoughts on it again have returned me during that moment which I try to forget.
Earlier I thought happy to grow fond and be easy. But I was mistaken. I was silly, young and naive. And just now I understand what to grow fond it is impossible so simply. It is very difficult. It as "prick" in heart. You do not wait that, and suddenly.... This prick, this feeling. It is difficult to describe what I already very much did not test for a long time. Also it is necessary to dream and live only in hope that once I will be again happy, again me I will love. And having come home, I will know, that my darling for the sake of whom I live will soon come, I breathe, and I cook tasty food.
I dream of children, I dream of a happy family. For the sake of which it is necessary to live, struggle. You understand now for the sake of what I live! For the sake of what I dream. And for the sake of what you live and dream?
You know, I read books, and at the moment of reading much, I include music. I listen and I read, and I as if leave in other world. The world in which to me it is easy, where there is no pain, there are no bad memoirs. There is only you, there is only a pleasure, there is only a happiness. And sometimes I would not like to leave again in a reality. It is difficult. And only my work, and children for which I the friend, force me to leave my small world. You like to read? What books like you?
I love novels, historical books, in general, I open the book, I read 20-30 pages and if I have an interest to it I will not stop, yet I will not read up completely it.
Today I to send to you to a photo. She is my girlfriend, I spoke to you about it! It as well as I.... It has loss, her husband has had an accident. Also was lost. But to death, it was in hospital very long. And she trusted that all will be good. But she was mistaken. Miracles does not happen. And I know it.
And you have many friends? Or you have only few close friends? You to have with them frequent meetings, or only on rare holidays? What value for you the friendship has?
I think will suffice to speak about the past. It not to return, and not to correct. Also it is necessary to live now, the present, and the future. And not to conceive that was. To believe in good, that will be!
I will be glad to see your letters, to see your thoughts, your photos. Yes, also I ask do not take offence, if you see the letter, and I cannot send in it a photo, not always the Internet good, and on it I cannot simply insert the photo, and send to you. And to me to have to send only the letter. But as soon as I will have a possibility, I to send at once you it, I promise.
I will look forward to hearing.
Hello, the my dear friend.
I hope, that my last letter has not taken away from you a lot of time (smile). I again wish to repeat, and to tell to you, that I write much because I wish to communicate. I wish to share a life, past, present. And it it is impossible to find room for all in 2-3 offers. I think, that you will agree with it. And letters allow us to do it. By phone it is possible to speak, but conversation does not allow time to think, formulate a word, or to recollect what that the moment. And the letter... It is possible to write it hours. It is possible to plan, about what you will write. And it bewitches, intrigues, because you look forward to hearing. You wait new "page" of the book which you now read, I now read. Also it is the book your life is called.
How you? How at you business? Whether all is good at you? I hope, that at you good mood, and the main thing, that you are glad to our dialogue!?
Today at me good day, I do not know why, but I have a good mood. There are forces to work, eat a smile on the person. There is a bright sun over me. On work all was good. Some children to whom I have helped. Give me even more pleasures. How pleasantly to help children to solve their "small" problems. It is a pity, that when I was small at me not was such person which could help me. But also all problems which were at me and which I had to face did me more strongly. They have learnt me to struggle. And in it there is big plus.
Last night, after I have written you the letter, I had a meeting with my acquaintance. (I gave you its photo, together with me). They asked to sit with her daughter as at it it is a lot of work, and to leave it simply there is nobody. I already said to you, that we have made friends, and we help each other. And I am final not to refuse to it. To me to like to spend time with her daughter, she the cheerful, beautiful girl and to trust in miracles! And as she said I its loyal friend. It is very pleasant to me to understand it. To it of only 5 years, but it already too adult on its years. She understands much, understands much, and loss of the father, for it most it was difficult. But it has consulted. She has understood all. But in the heart of the soul, she trusts till now, trusts in a miracle, and that all will be the same as earlier. I understand it.
Likely and I trusted in these miracles when was same small as it is young and naive. It is difficult to recollect the past which was in my childhood. There are many moments which I remember, and it is even more, which I when likely I do not can to recollect any more. As it is a pity, that many people cannot remember all life completely. It would be healthy if you remembered day which were 10-15 years ago. How you think?
My acquaintance Hasanna (name of my girlfriend), very much loves the daughter, she says, that its this unique rescue. Also that if not the child she would not struggle. I understand it. And even I envy it. It has a daughter, there is a pleasure, and it not so is lonely. Safina, small the girl also is happy. To see its smile, to hear its gentle voice. How pleasantly to have children! It is a pity, that in their my life is not present, my children. But I do not despair, I hope, and to trust, as I can be mum, and I will as have many cares, but to know, that I have that for the sake of which I live. My child! Which I will love strongly! All heart. And to live, struggle up to the end for the sake of the child. (Smile).
And when we went with Hasanna together to its house that it could take some things and go for work, she has asked about you. She knows that we communicate with you, that we to write each other letters, and understands, that you from other country.
I have told, that we try to become friends. That I tell about myself, you about myself. And it allows us to learn each other more. Friends and only, it is no more.
I have let to it know, as it my friend, but is the moments with which that would be desirable to share with whom, and to learn other opinion. Unless it is bad?
And when we have come to it home, us has met Safina. She has embraced me at once, I took it on hands, and have asked, in what we will play. And likely I already knew, that she will ask to play again with it in its favourite games. Catch up with me, and culinary specialists. In the first we play in the street, and here after the second game I am am waited as always by very big cleaning on kitchen of my girlfriend (smile).
After very cheerful day I have put it to bed, and waited when from work will come Hasanna. And while I waited for it read books. Also thought, what it is possible to trust in you or not? Whether It is necessary to open more to you the life or not?
You know, I read your letters, and I understand, that if you will not have an interest to me..... That once you simply not to receive my letter. I ask understand it. Understand that if will not be interesting to you, or you have not enough time to communicate with me it we cannot be friends! And if for you it is difficult to share with me, the life. That and I cannot do it.
I hope, that you can tell to me it in following your letter! How to spend time small children in your country, they like to visit what places, in what games play, what relations to them are at adult people? I understand, that each family is an individual case, but I think, that there is something the general.
On it I again to finish my letter, and I will wait for your answer.
You know reading your letters, I see that you have an interest to me! And it is pleasant to me to realise it. To know, that I have a friend. Which understands me, to share with me, and the main thing listens. And me on much easier to communicate with you under letters. So I can consider each my word and as you have noticed I I try to tell more about myself, the bottom. But all the same there are questions which at you now are. And in this letter I to answer you them. I not so am silly (smile), and I understand, that you wish to know.
Allow I will start over again. As you know on a photo, at me dark hair, and I them am very rare when I paint (I change colour). And at me blue eyes.
Yes, I am confident, that you have to me questions which are very interesting to you. And about which I yet did not speak! And now I think to speak about myself more much.
1) What your favourite colour? My dark blue, and green.
2) That for you was the most mad? For me to write the letter to you, then to yet familiar person.
3) You trust in miracles? (I understand a silly question, but I would like to know.) I trust, and I hope, that when will be in my life there will be a miracle which I will always understand.
4) You love the sun or a rain? I love a rain, likely because it a rarity at me in the country and when there is a strong rain, in streets is empty, and absolutely there are no people, and at me such feeling, that I one on a planet.
5) That you appreciate in friendship and in relations? I consider fidelity and trust on the first place. Without it it is impossible to be together, and even to be on friendly terms. You agree with me?
6) whether much you travelled? I was not present, where was not, except as my country, and other cities and besides, not leaving the country. And on it it is very interesting to me to learn as from you in the country. And now mastering the Internet, I can see pictures which at me grasp spirit.
7) You can strike the girl!? And in what cases? I cannot, likely because I when (smile) but if who that attacks me did not fight, I can shout so loudly, that he will be frightened, and (smile) will escape.
8) Your favourite books? Music? People which help you to live? I like to read Dostoevsky, Nietzsche, Charles Sparks, and still many. I listen as you already you know classics, and more melodious songs. And who helps me. Likely nevertheless Supreme, and then already all relatives for me people. Including you. Yes, you to me help to live, now. (Smile).
9) You go on the car? I when did not go and I even do not have rights, but sometimes I would like to try it, to go quickly that in the person the wind blew, and ahead there was a good, pure road (smile). Likely I look cinema (Smile) much.
10) whether sex in relations Is important for you? Yes, for me it is important. Sex, to be exact employment by love, says that you are engaged in it with the favourite person. And let it for pleasure, or for conception of the child, I considering to be at the same time who to you of roads and who is necessary, it is good. And if you trust it you will entrust also the body, heat.
11) the interesting question Most likely you! Believe, I as the psychologist, know. Yes, I had a partner as I spoke to you, I was married. And I had only it one. And to me to like to make love, like to try that that. And with its leaving in other world, I... I have already forgotten, that such caress men (smile).
And now questions on which I very strongly would like to know answers. And as to answer them.
1) That you wait from our dialogue?
Personally I hope to receive friendship. At least it because as I already spoke, I do not think, that I will find the one who will be necessary to me so strongly as air. No, I do not say, that it not you. Simply, you... You are too good for me. And we is far, and that is important, I do not wish to hasten with the conclusions.
2) If suddenly you will grow fond of me (probably), but I cannot love you, whether to be ready you my friend?
I will be ready to it. I will understand you if you do not want to divide with me any feelings. Especially, I understand, that for you I the person with other religion, from other country. And in general, I probably not to approach for you. Believe, I it will understand all, and I will be on friendly terms with you, and to appreciate this friendship. Certainly if it is mutual.
3) As you in general represent the future? If we are friends? If we are more than friends?
I see only good. I do not think of the bad. I know only one, that I am ready on everything that which person I love, was happy. And the friend who to me is expensive knew, that at any moment, I always will be with it, and I will support a difficult minute, and to give advice whenever possible. To be near to that who will open to me and then, I will open also.
And likely the most difficult question. The question which will set you thinking.
4) whether you are ready to change the life if the chance forgets again all past, all pain. And to begin all anew, whether you are ready on it? To begin in a new fashion? To make a step which will change you, your sight at the world. Also will add paints during your life, and a smile on your person?
Personally I already have made it. I have taken the first step on a meeting to these changes when has written to you the first time. Now on my person a smile, I do not think that was. There is no I have not forgotten, but simply I do not recollect, and I understand, that it is necessary to live further, to rejoice, see the world such what it is. And to be happy. And now you as have brought the contribution to my new life. A smile at me more often because I see your letters, and I understand, that I am necessary. As the friend, and that is possible as who more than the friend......
That, questions, I think we with you have solved, but! If at you still all is to me what that questions, which are very important for you (but not those on which I already answered), I with pleasure will answer in the following letter. I promise. But, I ask you if you do not see my answer, do not think, that I have passed it, no, is possible at you there are questions over which time to think is necessary to me, and to answer.
Know I is glad that we have started to write at first letters because at any moment I can stop, consider everything, and write to you. To write more and more correctly, and the main thing to share all thoughts. Feelings which with me, which now in me. And it can transfer only the letter. Words it is possible to speak much. But in these words there can be not enough advantage. They can be as a wind. To fly, and to direct only a dust. And letters, they were earlier, they are now, and I think, that else very long, they will have demand in our life. It is not dependent that a science, electronics has stepped very far.
You know road!? You not against, what I you name road? The Dear friend! Simply friend it sounds much not so, and the dear friend, is the one who is interesting. That is you (smile). I began to smile recently much. As if I have found the psychologist. I ask understand me correctly, I so to speak because I very little with whom shared the life. And as I know on the work, that only people share the with the psychologist a pain, pleasure, and the life.
No, you the friend, the good friend with whom to me it is interesting, good, and the main thing to me is about what with you to speak. Even sometimes it seems to me, that I speak than you (smile) more. Forgive me, but for all time, at me has collected much. And me it was simple there is nobody it to discuss. My acquaintance.... With it I spoke the same, but with it, not why that seems to me that at her and so it is a lot of problems, and all that I speak to her she sometimes simply does not listen to it. But I do not take offence, I understand it. And I very much wished to find for a long time the man who would be with me. Spoke, understood and listened.
For example as you, but you the friend, and you are far.
Time will show, time which at us will be will allow to us to understand much. And as your answers.
Probably once, we can meet in a real life. But not now (smile).
On it I to finish again my big letter, and I will wait for your answer. (Smile) I Will try to keep within much less, another time. But it very difficultly (smile)
See you again. the Dear friend.
Hello the dear friend.
How to see pleasant again your letter. Again to read your words, to see, that you... You nearby. Also that I any more one! I can share with you much, learn, and is simple trust. Sometimes, I think, that this madness, and that I have precisely gone mad (smile). But is not present, it seems to me, that in this world there is what that corrected, which operate us and move us forward, to what we at all do not expect. But nevertheless, even when I write you the letter, I communicate with you, to me is sometimes sad, and is lonely.
Even Robinzona Cruise had number a close friend, Friday (Smile). Which helped it to survive with the world which so is empty.
Likely the most difficult, that it is possible to have loneliness. But now all to another. I have you, whether and you have I (smile) not so?! I your Friday (smile). We with you friends.
But sometimes, I dream to have more than friendship. No, do not think, it likely only my dreams, and my imaginations. I share with you what does not suffice me and that I would wish. Here you for example about what dream?
I dream of a family.
Agree, that when you are waited for by the house who that will embrace you in the evening whom it is possible to go and embrace. To kiss, be together, to be happy. Likely it is wanted by many, want love, want heat, and to know, that they are necessary each other. And to share everything, not only love, but also a life.
Yes, I still dream of children, I dream to be mum, and to be happy. To have a family which will be strong. And in which will be only trust, understanding, and the big love.
As it is difficult to think of it. Especially to speak it to you. You good, ideal, you understand me and listen. And the main thing, me with you is good. And I begin depends on you, your letters. So it is difficult to find the person who is interesting to you which understands you, and the main thing is listened by) (smile).
And when I read your lines which you to me to write, as if you are nearby, stand up for my back, gently lay down the hands to me on shoulders and say all that I reading.
And I had time to think, and to dream. Yes, to dream of you, and me. Why is not present?! Unless it is bad. I would think we could understand, appreciate, trust each other and likely love. Likely. It is strange, because if I will grow fond, it for ever. And you... You to me the friend. And likely even more. It is difficult to tell, and on it, I will not speak now about it.
No, I do not wish to create illusion, I do not wish to build myths. We friends, and I think, that it is already very good.
Now I will wait for your answer.
Thinking of you, waiting for your letter. This dependency. she drives Me Crazy. I can not answer the questions that I have now in my head! Why is that? What for? What I hope?
Yes, these questions about you. Why do I depend on you? Why do I think of you? And then I wait, I wait from you and our own?!
Any questions, but no answers. And they are not so easy to find, no matter how hard I tried.
You know, my life does not have a lot of colors! You probably remember how I told you about the period of his life, when I was good when I was happy when I .... I loved. And this is probably the happiest time. And I think about him, I dream to live again for the sake of whom I can love.
My days of life are diverse, and every day I like the movie "Groundhog Day." I wake up do breakfast, go to work. Sometimes, to meet with my friend and her daughter. The same people every day, the same form, the same houses, streets and roads. And only small moments at work bring joy, a smile on my face.
And now things are starting to change!
Now my life is you. And it scares me! My day, my world becomes another. I'm starting to go to work on a different route, and now I go to Internet cafes, I think that I write to you, what awaits me, what is your letter, a photo?
New ideas - new life. And it's scary. It is terrible, because I can get used to it, to want more, and lose ... lose forever! I know it.
Today, I was sitting at work, thinking of you, dreamed of meeting. No, I do not want to rush, I already said so! The meeting did not now, I myself do not know when. Week, month or year. I do not know believe me. But if all goes as well as it is now, it is that this meeting will come sooner or later.
And I even have two dreams. Meeting as friends. And as if we were meeting together.
Dreaming, the first embrace, dream of a glance, dream like you hug me. and I dream to hear your "Hello". And every dream is looked at differently. Of course, one we are friends, we are in another two halves of one heart. One love.
But it's a dream. This is only a fantasy. On that I'm not ready. Not because I do not trust you, no, I believe you said, to believe what I have become important to you as you are to me.
I just want to get answers. And today, I'm afraid I was waiting for a long night. These thoughts do not leave me, and I decide today. I do not know if you are ready to receive an answer from me.
But I want to ask you, are you ready to try to be together?! It can not just be friends, but what is more?! Do not think that we have different countries, different cultures. Age can be a challenge, and I want you to know. No matter how old we, no matter how much we spent, as long as we were happy.
I already speak a word WE. No, it is all the same to think.
Now I appreciate our communication with you. Communication that can give us a lot, learn a new one. And thanks to your letters, I do not feel lonely. I'm not alone! are you with me! And if I've got friends a girl, it does not mean that I have a lot of friends. Believe me, that I am not rich. I have no friends in the men whom I could learn, could consult and .... And could love.
Yes, I think a lot about it lately. And all because I really miss it. There is a lack of warm hugs. Not enough good sight tenderness. And I'm tired, tired of being alone, of being lonely. And so you want to cook dinner, not only for themselves, so do not want to sleep alone in a cold bed to hug me, I knew that with me close to someone who is willing to much, just for the sake of my word, my declaration of love. Who will trust, I will appreciate. I will trust and respect. And to know that I will not betray him on the other, neither for gold nor for diamonds. For me, the value is only true, trust and loyalty and his love. Which is everything to me. Air, light and life. Money does not play a big role in my life. And all because the money comes into your hand, and go from them. A person who loves you, whom you love, if he goes, then maybe you see him any more. And then you will suffer very much about this loss. I know that we both know it!
Today a boy in my group of children had a birthday. I brought a cake and candles. And when he blew, I asked what he wants?! He replied that he wanted to fly to the sky, to be an astronaut. it's nice, childhood dreams. a dream for which he is now growing. I very much hope that his dream will come true.
My dream was only one, and as I can remember, I wanted to be happy. Only it is necessary for me!
What do you think, am I right?
Only happiness is necessary for life? Or something else?
What's your dream? What do you dream? What do you dream now?
You know dear. You gave me joy, and not a lot of happiness. And my dream is becoming a reality again. I will smile, I see again the colors opens again ...
with thee. And very much hope that one day my heart will be the fire that never will fade away .... And this fire can ignite the one who will love me, and the one who will love me. And believe me, I recognize you no more, because of these findings, I would be glad, that this fire will be kindled by you.
While. Again I finish my letter, and I'll wait for your answer.
Hello my dear.
This night was one of the longest nights in my life! Answers, I searched for them at myself in a head, thought, reasonings, dreams. I wished to understand, that with me, that I want, and in general, to find answers to all questions which do not give me rest even now.
And having spent has not enough time in meditation, I have come to one conclusion. It is not confident, that it correct, I am absolutely not confident what (Smile). I am afraid to think of the future, I am afraid to do an error.
Now I have an answer, there is a decision, and I think, that you will divide it with me. Why I so think? I see your letters, your words, and have drawn a conclusion.
Allow I will begin. I have fear, fear that I can do an error. I understand, that we people, and that we can be mistaken (as the Roman orator - Errare humnnum est) spoke. But not to be mistaken it it is difficult, and it is necessary to remember all past that that that bad again has not repeated.
Especially when you understand, that my decision will change me, my life. And I hope, that my decision to change and your life the same! Also I trust that so it will be better for us than a two. But again, I solve for myself, and your answer will put all points over i.
I thought, that my conclusions are hasty, and that it is necessary to us more time. To learn each other, and to communicate! But time is not necessary on a place. And each minute can be last (you understand me, I have missed the minutes). And I as who another I understand what to waste time, it to lose possibility to live, be happy, to be favourite. And now I do not wish to repeat this error. Now I to appreciate even seconds. And if I is happy, I will be ready to accept the leaving in other world, knowing, that every second I have lived and enjoyed this time. Enjoying a life which I have lived a side sideways with the person which has given me this happy time.
I can study you long, day after day, week after a week, and every day to me will be a little. And I hope, as you, you, always not enough my dialogue. And because of it we can miss this moment, the moment in which we can be happy. About which we spoke. The moment which will change our lives in good sense! To read each other as books, to look each other in the face, to speak with each other, and to enjoy it.
I know what you the person, what you the man, and it for me is enough to have warm feelings to you. Yes, we are familiar much, but what if we studied each other for years? In what it can result? That to us will give long letters? Only dreams, thoughts, and desire which we already hardly will embody in a reality.
We are not young as it was earlier. And if at us were superfluous year (Smile), likely we could spend safely them in emptiness. But I wish to spend and your time in more, to spend it for the moments for the sake of which it is necessary to live, build to dream. And the nobility even, that let not so is good as you dreamt, but this life on much better former, former loneliness! Fear, and a pain. The grey world, and eternal monotony.
We not children to hide what that feelings, and to hope, that you can understand them on my hints. That to a smog to understand and I yours. To speak openly, to write, here for what letters are necessary. Letters which can change now everything, our world, our lives. Whether it is necessary to solve for itself we are ready to make it? To change all! Now! No, not right now (smile) but to try to make it.
I looked the remarkable film created on a real basis. It is called "untouchable". It is history about the aristocrat the invalid and about its friend who helped it. Good cinema, a kind film, and places the amusing. And in it (if you looked it), there is a moment when the protagonist wrote letters to the girl whom did not see, and only had a photo. He loved it, they wrote as well as we. Week after a week. And I am confident, that that girl loved it, for its words, for its understanding. That he as who listened to her, appreciated and respected. As I you!
Their letters were on a paper, and they had to wait some weeks to receive the answer. And we can receive them likely instantly! And this time, expectation, we with you not to lose it! Not to waste time!
It was in a reality, they have created a family, they have children. And to a meeting they wasted time, they wrote, wrote, and wrote, and only its friend Driss (a name in a film) has helped it. It has made this meeting real, when Phillip (the protagonist, the invalid the aristocrat), very much was afraid of it.
But all has changed, they are happy!
And I do not wish to waste this precious time. After all in the world is not present time is more expensive than that. Especially time which we have already lost and when we can not return. Because it is possible to have everything, but as not time.
And I have understood, that your letters it is enough to me to present of you what you are. Who you are! And I have understood, that you to have one problem as well as at me (both of us know it), we do not wish to be one. The loneliness, it is very sick, cold, and is sad. And why to us with you not to test in a role of people which together. Which it is more than friends! To dream and try to embody all dreams in a reality. Probably to try to create a family!? To have children?! To meet! And to touch each other!
We live once, and in this world we only visitors, and our hour will come to leave, but I wish not to be one when my time will come.
To leave from loneliness, and to enjoy that we will be each other necessary. And it will already heat our cold hearts from loneliness!?
I ask you, you think. My words, it only - my words. Your decision as to have for me the big role. Also that you will tell, to what you will be ready, you should understand! And it is good to consider.
I understand, you have a question why you? Why not who that another?
My answer, and why not you? Why you think, what you cannot be with me? Or to try to be together?
Sometimes people look only at appearance, and I look at soul. And many moments, I simply do not wish to see, because they not
I want, that you knew one. I am ready to open the heart for you. To open my soul, and to trust in you. Whether you are ready to it?
I know "weight" to my words, they not simply wind. And if I now wish to be with you it not to change tomorrow, in a week when. Certainly, if you do not do all for this purpose that I have begun to hate you! And for this purpose after all it is necessary much. Treachery. Change. To beat me. I will not suffer it when!
If I give the heart to you I will give you the life. Also I will trust completely to you. To your words, your promises. Also I will trust all that you will speak to me.
And in replacements, you to receive my love, my heat, fidelity, and main my trust.
Whether I ask you think you are ready? It is ready to go up to the end? To change the world, the life, the future? And the main thing. Whether you are ready to accept my heart?!
Now I will wait with trembling your letter.
I wish to write I "love" you, but I do not want... I do not wish to speak it now, whether not knowing these feelings are mutual?! Are sincere? Or it only my imaginations, a fairy tale in which I now live? I do not know.
I know only one, that if you are sincere to me, also I sincerely to you.
Whole, yours Leonsia
Hello, I had today a strange day on work. Strange because today as if I was at the psychologist (smile). Allow I to you all I will tell.
I on reception had children. And here, next my small patient has entered into an office. We long talked to it, I tried to understand in what at it a problem (it does not communicate with with other children). I asked it of that it wants? In general what future at it? And after its answers she has asked me!
That Do you Want? She has asked me!
This question has entered me again into my thoughts. Thoughts which last time do not give me rest. Do not allow to me time to have a rest. I to reflect much, trying to find answers. On all my questions. I also did not think, that at me when that will be so many questions which it is very difficult to me to answer.
I have told to it, that it will be very difficult to it to understand me, to understand my answers. She has smiled, and has told a phrase, which now at me in a head.
Mum said to it, that it is not necessary to be afraid of that that new! To be afraid to be on friendly terms, afraid to communicate. Because it is necessary to be one.
I understand it as who another. Loneliness. I already said you, that this most terrible, and the most sick, that can be at the person. Dialogue friendship is ???j??. But it is even more about what the person can dream. Likely about that there was who that nearby. Close, favourite. The person which appreciates you and respects. And the main thing appreciates as the person. The soul at you looks not at your appearance, and on that what!
Day has passed much strained, there was a lot of work in the morning, but nevertheless I have consulted. But nevertheless work with children to like me. As it is pleasant to see their smile. It is sincerity. It is a pure soul.
We, adults can smile even when we do not want it. To laugh, or to long. Also we do it often specially. So that at you have not taken offence, or because you will show these the respect. Which probably also is not present.
Creating the false facts of that we are happy, or that to us is sad. But children, they cannot do it is strummed! All their emotions, all their feelings they are pure, as tear. And on their person it is possible to learn everything, that it it is good or bad, or that that that is ill them, or that that disturbs them.
With us, with adults on much more difficult. And I love the work and for it, that in this world where there is a lie who was gone for a long time already a word "honour" where you will meet fidelity and happiness a little, there are they. Children who can only the smile, the appearance, or nonsense to change any mood. With bad on the good. I very often notice it on myself.
And now, sitting in cafe, I feel the child. Yes, it is the truth. On my person a smile, it sincere. It is pure. As if to me of 10 years, and I.... I see for the first time all paints of the world. My heart to fight very quickly and often. Warm in me. Plans for the future, happy plans! And in me as if all live as if one million butterflies in my stomach all wish to get out. It is love? (Smile).
For a long time I did not feel it, did not test. And the main thing to like me my condition. I am happy... With you because there is you.
And as I already spoke to you, you understand me, you look at this world, the same sight as. And we each other understand.
And you know, nevertheless that I want?
I wish to come home, and to know, that this evening to me should not have supper one!
When I will walk, and to me will be cold, I will know, that me will embrace, will warm.
When I will lay down to fall down, I will not freeze. Me will embrace, and I will feel every night a kiss on the person, and a wish of sweet dreams.
When I will make a supper, a dinner, or a breakfast, I will know, that my meal, that I have made all there will be for the sake of whom I am all to do.
And every day, every minute I will live also the nobility that I not one.
For many women of this world the riches, what that are necessary to value! And as you understand, I have understood, that the most valuable on light. Valuable, it is feelings, it is a life, and time. And money is not important how many is, you cannot delay death date. And as you can not return lost time.
I read much, and many philosophers, always said, that time... It is all that at us is. The rest only the dust which once to turn to a dust, and will scatter downwind. And this time not to return any more... When!
You wish to waste this time? I was not present!
You wish to be happy? I yes!
You wish to be with me? I want, to be with you.
That would not think, that would not speak, but now I with you. We together, personally this my opinion. And I want, that you to accept it.
There is I, there is you. But now, there are we.
We - as it sounds. 2 letters, 2 hearts, 2 lives. Will turn to one word, one life, one........ Love.
And yes, yesterday I fluctuated, but now was not present. I love you!
And on it I to finish my letter, and I will wait for your answer. I will wait again the next letter which heats my heart. And which gives me a sincere smile on my person. This happiness.
I long thought as to begin my letter today. From what words. Greetings road? Or greetings favourite?
If you were now near to me would see the big smile on my person. Yes, I do not hide, I am very happy to see and read your letter. To see, words... Which let me know much. Much about you, about us, and the future.
You know Mike, nevertheless that we do a step to what that more still is difficult to believe me, the step which will change our life! Also will probably give what both of us want. Of what we long thought, hid in myself, in our hearts. I have a hope, that both of us will get rid of loneliness, from that "cold" that surrounded us. A bed cold, a breakfast cold, a loneliness cold.
And this step will give a lot of new to you and for me. It is very good, it is delightful. But I am afraid, and I have a big fear. And today I wish to speak with you about it.
There is no time more to wait. As you remember time goes so quickly, that I have not time to notice instant which can be useful which can leave a trace in my memoirs and give me a lot of pleasure in the future when I will recollect them. And I do not wish to waste this time! These moments which in my opinion, on my experience, are invaluable.
I think, and I wish to go forward, on a meeting to the future new, and I know, that I do it at own risk. And I do not wish to hide it. I wish to speak to you, of what I am afraid most of all!
The darling favourite, understand, I am ready now on much. Probably to make the most mad act in my life! An act which will change my world, my life completely. And I am not afraid, I consider, that it is time to me to leave my past, to live further, and to love again. As it is mad as it was, as it is passionate, and to be true only to one, my man. To try to live with you, to try to be together, to be close.
But I cannot do it while completely I will not be confident that you love me and that you are ready to be with me. You share my opinion, and you understand all to what we go. You understand, that will be it is much difficult, even because I not so can well speak in English, and that I should still to much study. Let it only trifles which can be corrected, changed, accepted. But I should understand, that you are ready to it, as well as I.
If we are together, we should not have disagreements under the age relation. I already said to you, that age for me that does not mean. And as, religions. I do not wish to impose you the or to try to enter into my culture, I am ready to accept your culture. But I ask, understand, my religion, is my choice. Let I not to observe all custom, not to make ceremonies, and similar. I pray, and I do it one, houses. To me so on much easier, and is cosier.
You are ready to accept it? I am ready!
You as know, that I not to smoke and not to drink in general. More precisely I presume to myself not the big glass of easy alcohol. But it is no more, because to me it will be bad. I much reading, like to prepare, I love children. I listen to music, I love romanticism, films, melodramas, I love the nature, I love fishing, I love history, I love a life, I love the one who loves me. Loves sincerely and purely, loves and will not betray. And I will be true to it till the end of my days.
I usual, simple, and likely the naive girl. The SUPREME has given me appearance and as has given me mind. And for me money, jewelry with which wish to buy me..... It is dust. Many offered me expensive gifts that I have paid to them attention. But not many understand, that the attention cannot be bought girls which is pure...
It is pure the thoughts, it is pure the heart, it is pure desires. Yes, it I. And I such.
And if you are ready to accept me, and to be opened as with me I will be mutual. But if is not present. That also it is not necessary then to do what that steps.
Well, I will ask you, you are ready to go forward, and not to look back? Not to look in the past, not to think that was when that, to think only that will be! Whether to take ready you my heart, and to protect it up to the end?
Forgive, for so big words, but I wish to be confident, not to make mistakes which to cause me only a pain. Believe, I very much am afraid to be mistaken.
I wish to be confident that you will not give, you will not hurt, you will not change me for other girl. (As I know happens such at you in the country). Yes, I read about your culture, and I know as you live, freely. But, many people because of this freedom to cause to relatives a pain. I do not want it!
And I will be confident, that with you, in your man's hands I will not be a toy which you on use and will throw. As not the necessary thing. As dust. It is very sick.
It is my fear which now prevents to be to me assured on 100 percent. Assured of you.
The darling, yesterday I met one my acquaintance when that we studied together, and now she lives in other city. Also has arrived to my city to relatives.
We long did not see it, and have gone to cafe to talk. She asked me on me, about my life, and my person, the favourite person. I to it have told, that I had a husband, but he has died, has told that has left a native city to forget everything, all problems, all grief. And I have told about you. I did not hide, I said about you, that you from other country, and that you to madness like me. You lovely, understanding, kind and careful. Yes, we different with you, but we to approach each other. I so think.
She has listened to me, and has told, that in its city there was very bad case. Which even showed on the TV at us, and there were not big meetings.
The girl from a rich family has got acquainted with the man from other country. They communicated as under letters, every day, it had this possibility as her parents have been provided, and it to have all to write letters from the house.
And once the man has invited her to itself, in the country, somewhere to Europe. She not thinking has agreed. It has sent it what that papers, the letter with its invitation to itself(himself) to the country, has bought the ticket aboard the plane for it, and has sent it all by mail. And it has left to it. And in a current of 1 year, about it who did not hear.
Her parents searched for it everywhere, but and have found, and only a miracle, has allowed it to return back, but it has returned in very awful condition.
Business was that it has arrived to the man who was the sadist and the pervert. As she told, he at first loved it, gave flowers, and looked after. But once he drank with the friends, and it has rebuked it, that already late and to its friends it is time home.
Then its man has started it to beat, and when it any more did not resist, he has outraged upon it, both has raped. Also has suggested it to make to the drunk friends. They have taken advantage to it.
When I listened to it, on my person there were tears, it was very a pity to me this girl. And my girlfriend has continued...
That man held it in a cellar some months, and every day it scoffed at it, forced, and humiliated. He could drink some days, and not feed her. For it it was as if a dog. And that girl, already thought, that will soon die.
And when he once again drank with the friends, neighbours have caused police because of noise, and they have rescued it when have heard shout in a cellar.
Long time it was in hospital, and on it they did not know who it and from what country. And that man as soon as has got for a lattice, it was hung up, has made a suicide. He understood, that it will judge strictly, and that is possible her parents, will want to revenge for it.
And when the girl has come to the senses, she has told through what it has passed, and as with it its man addressed. She has told whence it and where lives, and it at once have brought back to our country. And I think, that now it will not admit to herself whom, what man, therefore. That she will be afraid of all. I understand it as the psychologist, and at it now very strong spiritual wounds which are very-very difficult for curing.
After this history, I did not know, that to me to tell, that to me to think. I have recollected it, and that it was on news.
And still, I to trust you and I think that you not the such. I very much hope, that I am not mistaken! Yes, I trust you, and I think, that you will not do to me a pain! You not that man who can humiliate the girl. You will love me, and to do everything that I was happy. You will have care of me.
I so think, and it is the truth?! I hope, that you will answer me. And I will believe to your words because to trust and trust, this one of the main things concerning people.
And the same I have told the acquaintance. I to speak to it, what not all men as that person which was the sadist. There are which people it is possible to compare to animals, and she should understand, feel it.
And there are people which when not to make similar, and I am assured, that it you!
Now you that who are necessary to me, that whom I love and.... With whom I wish to be, with whom I see myself. And I hope, that this day will come, we will be together, and I will be near to you.
I will wait for your answer. I love you, yours Leonsia
What for you love? What for you happiness? What for you fidelity and trust?
Personally for me it is all... It is a life, my life. We live, we love, we die. And so occurs to people always. And we have not time to appreciate that at us is. To be exact, to appreciate time. Which so not considerably passes, and we lose it.
I remember as me was 14, I was the carefree girl, played, walked, and now... Now I the adult girl at whom is not present that except dream. What that there are dreams? This aspiration. Aspiration to carry out it.
Who that dreams of the big money, who that about the big house. Of what you dream?
I dream of a family! Yes, I wish to have a family, children. (Smile). What can be more expensive than it? This dream?
Money, it is a paper, jewelry, it threw. And a family, it warmly, happiness. I do not doubt, that for the big money you can buy everything, but whether you will buy love. No, love not on an hour not on two, love not till the moment when at you to come to an end money. Love on always. Not important, it is rich or poor, sick, old. The love, that which is pure, sincere, and is true.
I am confident till now, that you probably not to trust. Not to believe that I have chosen you. I know, that at me beautiful appearance, and a figure. But unless it is important? What do you see in me? Only object of desire or object of love? These are two different words, to have different sense. And you understand it!
I another, I not as all beautiful girls, more precisely, as many beautiful girls. They want a beautiful life. I the same could so to live. To have everything, the big house, expensive things, gold, and money. But what I would give in exchange? The morals, the soul. And for the sake of what? For the sake of this "dirt". I would be a doll which could use when wanted, would be whom.... My person as the person, it would be gone. And I was empty.
I do not want it. I to appreciate moral principles. I to appreciate feelings, love, fidelity. I to appreciate trust, and understanding. Who that to see a flower, and I see the world. Who that sees the sun, and I see a star. Who that sees the person, and I look in his soul.
To what I am all? I want, that you understood me, understood as the person as the person who can be offended easily, easily to wound words. But if not to do it, I will give you all about what it is possible to wish. With you there will be I, with you there will be my love, my fidelity, and my trust. You will hold my heart in hands, to embrace my soul, and to receive my heat. And I will be with you up to the end. To tell I love is one, and to give a life for favourite this another. And I am ready to present to you the heart, the soul, the life. And to be with you together, to be a number, and to love you. And not important I that will be spoken by people, their opinion happens a miscellaneous. People can envy, and can not understand everything, that a prooutcome.
And you agree to change our lives, and not to listen whom except the heart? It is ready to divide with me the love? It is ready to be with me, to be a number, and to love me as strongly as I you? And the main thing, whether you are ready to accept my feelings (sex). To accept it, that I as any girl, understand that it will be, when we will be together, and the main thing, that I love sex. But the problem that I cannot be with that whom I not to trust and not to trust, and the main thing not to love! And if you with me, you receive all me.
Now I to finish my letter, and I will wait for your answer.
I kiss you, yours Leonsia.
Hello my dear, dear. I am very pleased that once again I can see your letter, and believe me, today .... today we do with you what I was thinking lately about the step that actually change our lives, change our view of the world. And I see that you are ready, and now I think we should speak of a date! On the time when I touch you, I will kiss you'll love. And I ask you just one thing, do not make me hurt.
And one more, very important. As you already know me, my words are not the wind. I tell you all what I think of all that in my heart. I share this with you. And believe my words - this is not an empty phrase. If I tell you that I love you, I prove it. Show you first what you did for me is very important and necessary. And I feel bad that we now face a "wall" is the distance that is very difficult to break. But as I told you, together we can do it. Break it, and will no longer barriers will no longer distances, but we must be ready for it, ready for the main solution ready for a change in our lives.
No longer lonely, no longer need to sleep alone. We'll be together. I will be with thee, thou shalt be with me, and when we're together we have no one will be able to separate. I will always fight for you, you're my air .... I live now, my world in which I can feel better. And the more I do not look to the past, now I only live for the only you. And I can not be more far apart, I want to take another step and I hope that you will go with me. Do not be afraid, you will not doubt it. You'll believe just as I told you. Trust me, I trust you. And thus we show each other how strong our feelings. And how we need each other.
I do not want to wait any longer, and I think that you can not same. Time that we lose, we could be spending with each other. In fact, what we dream. A walk in the park together, hiking in the cafe on the environment. New feelings that are very difficult to survive in the letters. For example kiss that I want so badly! Feel your warmth! Be with you, be yours. Make love. Believe me, I want this, I want to be given to you, to let you know how I need you, I love you and I want to be with you.
I thought a lot, and believe me, to decide on is not so easy. Meeting, it is very exciting, and I can say that it is just as scary. It is terrible that I can not justify your expectations, you will not like what I cook for dinner, or not like that I have no experience in bed. And how much I do not struggle, fear is always with me.
Even now, my dear, I'm sorry, but the story about a girl that I told you, it's scary, I'm afraid, but I trust you. And I think I know you never will you do me a pain! Because I believe your words, I trust you. And I ask you the same thing, trust me. And we'll be together. The main thing to believe and strive for. Do not be afraid of no problems, understand that this meeting will change our lives, and only together we will be happy.
What is happiness?
I think happiness is when close to you, there are those who love you and who is willing to love you in every difficult moment, and no matter what happened to you. Love and give warmth. Love and be loved. Love and appreciate this moment, a moment of true happiness.
And now, I'm very worried, but I can not wait any longer, I can not and do not want. It is difficult to lose precious time that goes so fast that I'm afraid to regret it, do not talk to you about this before.
I want to meet, I want to see you, hug you, be with you, and give their love. But for this you have to want it, to understand that you can not wait any longer. And we must be ready to take me to my love.
And yet, if we meet, I believe that it is better to do it with you, in your country. It is much more convenient it will be for you and for me. I can see you, can you show me your country, and to acquaint with your loved ones. So it will be a lot easier for you. In my country, we will be much more difficult. I talk about the walks, we can not do much, even hold your hand, will not be able to kiss. And I will not be alone, because I will fear. Fear for you. We do not like foreigners. Due to the fact that many of them come to our country, and "buy" girls. I know that you're not, but others do not know about it, and I would very much worry for you.
And it would be easier to come to you, because I can feel free. We can much more from you. Or am I mistaken? Or you're not ready? .
That is, I want to tell you that at first we can meet for a while to learn - if we can be together or?? What do you think about this? And if we see it, and have 100 confidence will approach each other, thereby to live together. Then we'll talk about a wedding to go!
I love you very much and would gladly have you also met. I'll wait for your answer to this cute!!!!
Yet if we meet. I say - this is different, this is not a letter. Letters to bring a lot of joy and a lot of desire, a lot of dreams!! But they can not all those feelings that I have to carry you. All those emotions and my mind! You can not look at my eyes. That's why I say it's all you now!
I understand if you say it's still too early for a meeting. I can understand that. But I want you to understand my thoughts correctly. Now our relationship in the sweetest period. We are at the beginning of a path that can lead us to happiness. Now we have the most vivid feelings and emotions. And I want it to be developed to bring it even more fun and joy.
If we meet - then all that we write to each other can do, and we can translate into reality. We can make love in bed and can walk on different streets and the most beautiful places. We can each evening to bring each other pleasure to be happy. I would like to massage you constantly, every time as when you're tired. I would like to make love to you, every time our common desire and want. To all that you write, you could also do it! You write as you love me, and want to love big. We can do it soon! I thought yesterday that stop dreaming, because it is even more desire to meet.
We can start a new life, which we lacked. But we'll start it together already. You and me.
I will eagerly wait for your letter! And I want to say again that I love you Leonsia!!!!!!!!!!!
And here again I write you the letter. And again, seeing your answer, I understand, that you are ready to do a step. The step to be together. And if you are completely confident, allow me to start to learn and the main thing to move to our meeting.
I perhaps will begin with you, that I should go to Ashkhabad, and to learn about everything, that is necessary, what documents, and the main thing how many all will cost. Now I do not ask your help, I think, that I am able pay all. Especially, I have not big savings. Though I not to have at all the representation, how many the similar trip will cost for me, but I hope my money will be enough for this purpose.
But for this purpose, I should know 3 basic things from you.
1) your phone number
2) Your nearest international airport. The name exact that was not at us what problems at a meeting is necessary to me.
3) Also it is necessary to me know, what if I fly to you, you to meet me at the airport?
And I very much hope, that you give me all answers to my questions. And by that already soon I can speak you all that have learnt.
The meeting, it to change our lives, we will be together. And further we will learn each other. We will be together, and I can present to you a kiss. Our first kiss, our first contact. As it is romantic. The guard and desire were weaved into one feeling, and to me it is pleasant. I am pleasant to understand, that not one, it is pleasant to understand, that we can be together. And is possible we are created for each other. We will have a family.
How pleasantly to dream of it! To dream that we together. But as you understand, and I understand as, that when we will be together at us there will be an affinity. Yes, I know it, and I want. I very long did not have a man, and I could dream and dream only. And last time I to dream of you. Unless it is bad? (Smile).
I spoke to you about feelings, about pleasure of a life much. But unless sex it not feelings? Both of us think for a long time of it, it seems to me that time has come to share with you that of that I want, and of what I dream.
The darling, I want..... I want, that before you read my letter you have included song Crazy In Love, it is a slow song, I heard it by radio and just as I understand it was in a film of 50 shades grey!
I ask make it for me, and start to read... I have again broken, I again cannot more, I again dreamt, and dreamt of us. Also I wish to share with you my DREAM. Let all problems will be behind, let all for an instant will pass, I want you.........
You sit on an armchair, read the book, know, that I with you, I on kitchens that prepare that. You for that do not wait, but here, you understand, that I stand behind you, my hands have embraced you behind, and have stroked you, your body. To you it is pleasant, you put me on the knees, and wish to kiss.
I have glanced in your eyes, have gently touched with a hand your lips. Also has spent a hand more low, on your body. I did not reduce eyes from you. Saw, that it to like you. My lips were near to yours, and you waited for a kiss, you felt them. The passion, desire, have seized us. But you have not received this kiss. I have nestled the lips on your ear, you hear my breath, you go into eyes, it to like you.
And here we again look against each other.
I have slowly blinked, have risen and have turned to you a back. You have paid attention, that on me easy as a feather a dressing gown. And it does not hide all lines of my body. I standing a back to you, have turned a head, have winked at you, and have gone towards a bedroom. You saw off me a sight, and saw, that while I go, from me as if silk slept a dressing gown. It has fallen as a petal from a tree. Gently and slowly. And you see, that I continue to go, but I without clothes, I am bared. Even on this distance I hear knock of your heart. I hear your breath.
And here, almost having reached a room, and almost having disappeared from your kind, I will stop, will turn to you sideways, and I will stretch a hand. And it is gentle, I will slowly beckon you a finger. I want, that you have proceeded for me.
You will rise and will go, with each step to a room, your heart to fight more strongly, your thoughts are empty, you there is nothing do not think. You only to represent that waits for you.
And than more close you to approach, you hear music, gentle music, music as if pulls you more strongly. And you having reached a room understand, that there there is no bright light. Only small fires shine a room, a bed, and me. Candles, them so it is not enough that all to see good, but there is enough to make out me bared!
I lay on a bed, I am two glasses of wine.
You sit down near to me. I stretch you one, and you take it. And during this moment I start to drink the, and not having drunk up up to the end, I throw it aside, and I kiss you. Dividing with you my passion and wine which at me in a mouth. This taste, sweet taste of my lips, and strong taste of wine as if has forced you to be disconnected and not to supervise itself.
I lay down you on a bed, and I sit down from above. You see me, my body, my breasts. And during this moment, I holding your hands as if chained to a bed, bring the lips to your ear and I ask to allow to love to me you!
You cannot say a sound, you only have nodded a head. And I have understood, that you agree.......
My hands as if feathers of a bird, have sliped under your clothes, you feel them warmly, they soft, gentle, they caress you.
Your sight at second does not come off me. You see, that I do, I having turned am a lot of head sideways, one has started to break with you the buttons, for another. Having opened your shirt, I ironed your body, and me already that did not stir.
Having inclined a head to you, our lips were again close, and again you so strongly wished a kiss, but it was not. I only a tip of the language have licked your lips which were already ready to be stuck into mine. But is not present, I did not think to hasten.
I have started to go down much downwards, my hair have stroked your person as if petals of roses. You not having had time to exhale have felt as if burns on the a body which were cold and hot simultaneously. Having opened eyes you have seen, that I kiss you, your body, your breast. I kiss and I caress you the lips, and hands.
And slowly I go down in a bottom leaving a wet trace on your trousers, there where I sat... I very strongly wanted you....
YOU are already ready to break, but you promised to me, that will give the chance to me to make to you pleasantly. And I understood, that I can make what you so strongly wish.
I have stopped, when gently went down language to you to trousers. I have looked at you, I saw your sight, your desire, your imaginations. And during this moment, my hands have already unbuttoned your trousers, and I have got "it", I took it, hot in the hand. During this moment you have noticed that my eyes were went. As if I have tested orgasm. But having returned to this world, I have again looked at you. Also has gently kissed him. My sight did not come off you, did not come off your eyes. You look, you see, and it got me even more strongly.
I gently took "it" in a mouth, and the movement beginnings upwards downwards, and have heard your lamentations. I understood, that it is pleasant to you, that you do not want, that I stopped.
I felt it, felt at myself in a mouth as it moves, and my language caressed it as if I eat a sugar candy. I will not hide, it to madness to like me.....
And when I understood, that you want more, wish to enter into me, I will rise over you, and I will slowly sit down, that you saw as "it" comes into me, in my wet "cat". And I will do slow movements, I wish to take pleasure in everything, everyone the second, each sigh. "It" will envelop "it", it will be crude, damp, and I will feel it........ In itself.
And I will understand, that you already wish to finish, I will tell, that I dream to become with you completely to one. Also I will start to move more strongly and more strongly. Also I will feel as in me "it" will start to pulse, and from my cat "milk" which completely will cover it will go, and will even more strongly make crude.
I just have a few questions that I need to know. And I hope that you answer it.
1) How do you feel about sex?
2) Do you like it?
3) Love for you it's just sex, or something more?
4) What kind of sex is acceptable for you? Oral? Anal? Or a classic?
5) Do you like to experiment? Games? Costumes?
6) bad if the girl will moan during sex?
And I am final itself I wish to answer mine a question.
1) Yes, I love sex. I love caresses when me concern. Kiss. As for a long time there was no it with me and as I am strong it waited.
2) To me to like, when there is not a society, and I could see all. To like me it.
3) Sex it not so is important for me, as love. Relations. I think, that it is possible to be together and without sex. But if there is a possibility to show the love in the form of sex it is very good. Especially, this very fine employment.
4) I Admit, I practised all kinds of sex, and on it I do not have restrictions. We with my husband (died) loved a variety. And on it, I not to see that bad in sex, and its kinds.
5) Yes, I think, that to like you some surprises by which I will do for you. Especially, I the doctor, and at me am clothes (smile) which to like you.
6) I cannot constrain my emotions, and on it at me happens groans. I want, that you knew it. And I hope, that it will not be a problem.
The darling, I hope, that my imaginations have not frightened you, and I think, that to me will suffice to read books about sex. And that I will go mad (smile). I so strongly want you, if you only knew......
Now at you time will think and dream as well as I. While I will learn all about our meetings.
I love you, yours Leonsia
Hi washing the favourite!
I read your answer, and I see in it, your determination, aspiration to be with me! Also it is necessary to learn only, sincerely you speak about it or not. I to trust you completely. And very much I hope, that you not to bring me, "not throw" the words in air.
I very strongly expected to receive your answer. I wished to see that, on what you are ready. To see, whether you are ready to do this step which will change our life to the best. Whether to be ready you happy together with me. To try to learn it is more about each other. And any more in letters, in a reality. To touch, love, kiss, give heat, and to receive in exchange the same. To see me, my smile. And to take me, all. To accept my love to you.
I am ready, and I have made now this step. I will tell to you all that I have learnt. I said to you in the last letter, that I will learn, how I can come to you, and to be with you.
Also believe, my darling, I have made all. I to carry out the words in a reality. I not to speak mere words. My world now only there, where you. And I am ready to leave everything, all last life behind, and to go forward with you, together. And I would like, that you as strongly wanted it. Wished to make a step, to change the life. And to accept me in the family in which I will feel at home. And if it is impossible to us (but I hope, very much I hope, that all will be good) I will be quiet because we have tried, have made all possible efforts for this purpose instead of simply leaving it as the Internet dialogue. Only I can trust you, I can give all that is very valuable to me. And I am ready. Now all depends on, whether you are ready.
I was in Ashkhabad. I went in a city, and went to some travel agencies. I searched for the most popular, good in my country which to work and has representation in the countries of Europe, and Asia. I found the most good from this, that was.
This travel agency to me was advised some by the familiar. And it me has liked that when my acquaintances used services of this travel agency, they not to have any complaints.
And still, it was pleasant to me as me met, service was pleasant. And when I came into others I felt the invisible being.
And now, after conversation with the tourist agent I have learnt all that it was necessary for me to know.
I to tell to the tourist agent that I wish to leave my country. That I am going to go to you on a visit. Also wished to learn, that is necessary for me, it is necessary to do what documents, what documents to agency, and how many it will cost.
At the very beginning of conversation me have asked, whether I am ready to go to other country, one?
As they to say, that it will be not so safe, because many bad people are in other countries. I the young lonely girl, am going to fly to you which person I saw only on a photo of which person I have grown fond, and whether I am ready to risk all for you?
They to remind me of that history, that I to you told about the girl who was as if in prison.
I have answered them, that all I know, and heard about it. I admitted, that I have fear, but love which moves now me on much stronger this fear! And I am ready to risk, because I cannot live in this grey world for me any more. And if the destiny is favourable to me at all of us it will be good. And we will be happy. And if is not present, and you to cause me a pain..., that it was my choice, my decision, and I knew on what I go, I have dared at what step.
And I have asked how many the visa will operate?
How I can prolong it in your country if I want to remain?
What documents from me are required?
How many it will cost?
And how the visa will long prepare?
On all these questions, I to receive the answer from them. The visa it will be valid in a current of 90 days, I can prolong it at you in the country (if nevertheless I to remain with you), documents the cores the passport, papers about a work place, and some other papers.
And all documents necessary will prepare approximately from 10-14 days.
It is the passport for travel abroad, the visa, tickets in about the end (it is obligatory, but me have told, that if I to remain, I can hand over 1 ticket and receive for it back its cost). And all other documents, as the insurance, and the ticket of the tourist.
It is my first trip, and I have solved if I go to you, as the tourist. Thereby the travel agency will know, where I to be, and to bear full responsibility for me and my life. I will not take hotel, in hope, that you will be with me, and I will be at you on a visit.
I admit, I very much worry, I at me am small fear. Do not take offence the darling, but now I risk everything, and is possible the life. I to trust you, to trust you, I love you. But bad thoughts not to leave me. And I think of it.
But as I already spoke, for what to live if not do steps which can to change your life to the best!? And I am ready to risk. For the sake of future, our future.
Whether and now I wish to ask you you are ready? Understand, now if both of us go forward back ways will not be. We will have a meeting or will not be that! And we should be ready to it. Are ready to the moment when you will hold me in the hands at the airport, or to live past, and to regret, that we have not changed the life when we had a chance.
And it now is! It in our hands, and I do not wish to miss it not to regret in the future.
I think, that you will tell to me the answer. If you are ready not to have also you fear. You mean is ready to accept me both to love, and to receive my love.
But if is not present... I do not wish to think of it. To me and so bad thoughts in my head (smile) suffice.
I not to doubt, that in our future relations WILL not be doubt and mistrust to each other. I am assured, our love will long live, it can pass any tests. When two persons love each other, they are capable to overcome any obstacles. You agree with me? I trust you, I trust in each your word. I do not consider myself naive, but my heart is spoken to me that by you sincere! That you really want only the best with me! My heart is not mistaken! I know it precisely!
I to LOVE YOU, and this main thing, I so believe, and if I to meet you and we together will be - then I to become the happiest girl on this planet. I never to throw you, favourite my man! I never to think badly of you. I the girl who is able to forgive and if there will be errors then I not insult - you correct them! It will be present also and at my party, and to depend on me and from, whether you are able to forgive. You can not doubt my words. As I to write to you only, that I think, and of what I to dream! And all my promises is NOT MERE WORDS! It is the truth and if them correctly to understand then you can see me present! I am assured, you already well know me. You know my feelings to you, you know my hobbies and many my thoughts! When I will come to you, I will speak much more! You can see me, observe of me. You can see and feel all my feelings to you. I very much want it! I wish to give to you my love, and also to see and feel your love to me! I hope, that it will develop in very big and serious feeling. Probably, we even can create a family. And, if between us there will be such feelings and full confidence. Then we meet, despite of everything. I would like to feel you soon, to iron you and to show all my care and love to you, my careful prince. I understand, that now my life depends on you! Also I think, that you to look at it from the correct party! I wish to see you, to be your beloved. That you never to throw me!!
You should remember, FOR THE SAKE OF LOVE, I AM ready ON ALL!
I took their post electronic address as this only thing, that at me is. And now, I will entitle them of the airport, and they will speak me how many it costs. I think, that 1900 manat will be enough. I THINK, that if I will translate it in dollars US, on it will be much easier to you to understand. It approximately 540-550 usd. I very long held this money, and sometimes refused to myself in what that. I saved, but did not know for what. And here this day has come (smile). Now I worry, and I look forward to hearing.
Back ways are not present, and I do not wish to do steps back. Ahead of me you wait, a new life, the future, and I hope that I am am waited by a family. And for all our life, all that we have passed Supreme has made so, that we have found each other, two hearts, two lonely persons, the man and the woman. And we together.
I will inform you all that I learn.
I love you, yours Leonsia
My darling I was glad to see your letter, and it was very pleasant to me to understand, that you with me, we together. And now we have started to build the new world in which we together will be. And now we do very important step, we will organise a meeting, together. And we to show to these not only each other, but also to all world, that we are worthy to be together, that we will be contain, and that will not prevent to carry out our dream. Dream which soon to turn to a reality. In the world where we will be together. Where there will be our love, our feelings, and we go to it.
Now, when I have learnt where I should fly, to which airport, I have informed on it in agency which I gave you, and I can speak you how many it will to cost!
Booking is made at once when documents for visa registration move. That is the travel agency reserves tickets and after the visa ready, they redeem these tickets.
With the visa of problems will not be, I should collect now only necessary documents. And I already will start it to do today!
Full cost of my trip makes 1780 usd. It includes cost of all documents, the passport, the medical insurance, the tourist visa, and tickets in your country and back. And this cost is definitive. I said to you, that I have only 30 percent from full cost.
That is I am ready to pay 540 usd. I can already do it very soon that the travel agency could begin preparation of documents. But for this purpose I should be assured, that you can help me with the rest.
It makes 1240 usd. You can help me with it in the near future? For me it is very important to know your answer. Because I wish to sign the contract with this travel agency. And thanks to that I to pay the first part of money, they will begin the work, and my documents will be already in work. But that I could receive them, I should pay all up to the end.
As, I have learnt, that you can pay directly in agency. So even it will be better for me. I should not have such big sum of money on hands, and I will not be afraid, that I can lose it or me can plunder. You understand during what time we live. For this money me can beat, if who that sees it at me. And I do not wish to risk the health, and your money.
And the travel agency is ready to bear full responsibility for your money. And as, they many time already to face payment from other countries, and they know as to work, and how to help us. I to trust them.
I to understand the darling, as for you it not the small sum of money. But I saw your words, saw, that they not were simply a sound. You are ready to be with me, you are ready to do this step, and I will follow you. I will be with you. Always.
All that now for me important is our meeting, our feelings, our love which believe more expensively much in this world, is more expensive to me personally. Is not present than that is more expensive, than your love to me. I protect it, I to appreciate it, and I ask from you the same.
I constantly dream of you, I speak to all about you. As I name this feeling - love!!!!!!!! Also it is the purest and present love. This love has the big force!
And if we miss this chance, we will miss all!
I will wait for your answer. The darling, I have put all that at me is. Also I ask you do not take away from me dream, love, and belief. You all that at me now are, all that is necessary for me. And I do this step for the sake of you. I know, that we are created for each other!
I love you.
My love, it is very pleasant to me to see your letter, and the main thing that you to speak. You have given me love, you have given me pleasure and happiness, a smile on my person. But the main thing you have given me now hope! Yes, it at me now is. Hope that we will be together. Also that about what we wrote all, dreamt and spoke with each other can become a reality. We can change our lives, here and now, with you together. And to begin a new life where we will be you and I.
I am glad, that you are ready to take this step, and I understand.... Fairly I understand, how it is difficult to you to make it. To trust in me for 100 percent. No, likely to trust in me for 1000 percent. Also believe, I will justify your trust. And now I will make it, in this letter, I will give you a photo which I just to receive. And not important what is the time I should stay in the cafe Internet, but I will send you it. And you will see my smile, to see I wash fidelity, and the main thing to see I wash love.
I also did not think, that when that I will be again happy, again I will smile, again I will love. And the main thing, that I will dream again, and all my dreams to become real.....
If you were a number, you likely heard knock of my heart. I so worry, I understand, that it is very important step for us. Also that it....... I want it, both of us want.
Give we will make it, we will make our love even more strongly, our contacts real, and our kisses daily. I want it, I wish to feel you nearby, to hear your voice, and your breath. To love you, and to give heat every day.
And now I want that you could not only help me, but also watch all work of my documents. That you did not have questions which I cannot answer, and the main thing you to have guarantees. As it is your money, and you help me.
I give you the electronic address of travel agency in which I was and about which I spoke to you.
And as I would like, that you wrote to them. You Spoke that from me
Here my full address
Street Bitarap Turkmenistan 2
And they can help you. They will speak as you can pay all.
And the main thing, I would like, that you to pay all in travel agency itself. And at me on it some reasons.
1) I said to you, that you can write to agency, travel agency of my country. And they to help us to make our dream real, our meeting. They will answer all questions which to you are interesting, and as which concern my flight to you.
2) How to help me with money where to pay and send?! This question, faces to us. And I wish to tell to you, that I very much am afraid for your money. I am afraid, that if you will send me them I should go to Ashkhabad, and only there I can receive them. And here there are some problems.
a) that I should go much, I am afraid to lose your money.
b) Me can plunder. This sum of money very big for my country, also will be the one who will want quickly and to grow rich easily. And probably their purpose there will be I. They can track me, and then plunder me. And during a robbery to beat, or is even worse. And on it I am afraid for the health. And besides, I am afraid for your money.
And on it, I ask you to write to travel agency and to pay in it. They can give you different kinds of payment. And as they can give you guarantees. And you to choose the, which to you more convenient.
Now there is one more problem.
The darling, you understand, what if you to buy tickets to me, in other company, in the country I cannot remain with you?! YOU understand it? Or you simply wish to meet and only, and not to have the future?
I already said to you, that your government not to love foreigners which wish to remain in your country. And they to take different measures. That I could not remain with you.
I will try to explain to you, that we should do, that we were together. And as I will tell to you, that we will be if you do all itself, at home.
If I do all, and to fly to you as the tourist I will not have problems with visa reception in your country. I easily can to receive it, and not to have what problems. After I will go to the migratory service, and to receive the permission to leave my country.
After we to meet, and in some weeks we will go to your embassy to submit documents with the request to prolong my finding at you on a visit. As we have met on one of excursions (we should say, that we did not know each other earlier), and have started to communicate, be on friendly terms, and to grow fond each other. To show them a photo, and all the rest. And we will not have problems more.
So to me to advise in agency so we will be together on always.
But if you do all independently, without the aid of my local travel agency then at passage of migratory service there can be questions and problems. And in general can forbid to take off to me.
Even if at me nevertheless it turns out to depart to you, and I will be with you. That your government can refuse to me in visa prolongation, relying that I simply wish to remain with you in the country and that I do not have feelings to you (that cannot be the truth). And then there will be problems which we can and not solve!
Now all in your hands. And I hope, that you will make all that we were together. And I can give you the love, heat, the life.
I love you, yours Leonsia