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Letter(s) to Fredo (USA)
I am realy happy we are in touch. Thank you for your letters. They make my days. I think of you constantly. You are very close to me. I don't know how it could happen so fast. It is amazing. I feel you very close. You see we both are sincere with each other. I think it is the way people must comunicate with each other. I think we must not hide our feelings and thoughts. I do it. I am ready to give myself to the destiny. I believe in fortune. I think I am lucky to find you. I know I may seem too excited talking about "us". I just want you to know about my feelings. I like you and I want to develop our relationship. I believe we are compartible and we could be a great couple. Alfredo I want to know your honest thoughts about us. Would you really like to meet me in person? I want it.
I thought a lot about the situation. We met in virtual space. We found out that we have common thoughts and ideas for living. We both need someone in our lifes. We like each other. And we will meet soon. What if we won't like each other when we meet? I know it is silly to sit here and think about all these "what and if".
I think we must meet and see if the things will work out between us,
see if we will fall in love with each other. Without meeting in person we can't create full understanding of person. I want to meet you and to develop our relationship. I know we met in Internet but we met each other. It means a lot. Well I will be strong and wait until we meet.
I better tell you about my trip to St.Petersburg.
The first place I visited were our regional program manager. He said my document was almost done. I will get them in few days. I signed several documents and asked him about the place I would come. He said he didn't have the list of the hospitals participating in the program.
It is the prerogative of American side. He also said I would have a preference for selecting a hospital because of my high scores in testing. The greatest news was that I would be able to come to your state for sure. He said many hospitals participate in the program because it is a government project and they get some benefits from it. As far as the conditions of working they are the same in all hospitals. My salary will be fixed and guaranteed by American government. Also they will provide the accommodation with every convenience and medical insurance. The manager said that I got a chance giving once in a life. :-) He was sincerely glad and proud for me. He also explained me why the USA gave such chances to foreign citizens. It is the way to select the best professionals in the world.
The manager said I would have big chances to stay in the USA if I worked well.
There was another doctor I told you about. Her name is Ksenia. He introduced us to each other. She is a little older than me and we found common language really fast. Right away we decided to hold together. She is very pleasant and intelligent woman. She is also single and eager to realize her ambitions in the USA. Be ready to meet two girls ;-) The second I went to our trade union. Genady said there were not funds yet. Actually my travel must be paid by my hospital or trade unon. My hospital refused to do it for lack of funds and trade union is my only source. Anatoly promised to do everything he could. He was going to call to Moscow regarding my travel. As he said he never did it before. Financing is a very difficult question here. It is always hard or impossible to obtain financing for your project or new equipment in state institutions even if you do it for altruistic convictions.
I will go to St.Petersburg tomorrow again. Hope Genady will give me good news.
Alfredo hope you understand I would need your support at first time when I come. I will come to absolutely different environment with another language, people and culture. You see I am preparing for this travel but I will need you in any case. You are the man I know and I can trust. You will show me the place around, tell me about your traditions and habits. I will need you. Alfredo to be honest the closer time the more I worry. I am not afraid of new emotions and experience. But I can't do anything to stop it. Do you think it's OK?
I have a small plan for us. I think you must not meet me at airport because there will be a bus for our group and we won't have any time to talk. I will better call you when we get to hotel.
We will figure out details about our meeting over phone. Also I'd like to have a chance to rest. I must look great when we meet ;-)
Alfredo I am so excited thinking about our meeting and travel. I surely want to embrace you and I will do everything that depends from me to make us met. Please, write sooner what you think.
I need you to uphold my spirit.
I havn't written you for a while. I am sorry. I know I had to think about you and just write you a short note earlier. I had a problem I must solve before I write you anything. I know you worry for me.
As you see from the subject of my letter things doesn't smile at me. I am sad and confused. I don't want to tell it to you. I know you want to meet me. But I will be unable to come to the US by my own. I need a sponsor to pay my travel. Alfredo I want to describe the situation in detail.
In my last letter I told you I would have a talking with Genady about funding my travel by trade union. I met him and he said that our trade union will not pay my travel. I asked why and how it may be? They carry out this exchange program without funding it? He said it is not right. Our government arranges traveling papers, visas, contract with American government. They also pay salary and provide place for living for american doctors coming to work in Russia. Travel expenses must be covered from local hospital budget or our trade union. My hospital refused to pay travelling and trade union can't pay for it too because Moscow didn't send money. Genady said it is because of the non- coordination of our government. I asked him what can I do? He said I can pay my travel by my own or find a sponsor. I must pay only my travel to the USA. When I get there I will be provided everything by american government.
Well, I asked him how much I must pay. When he said the sum I was really confused. It is $950 USD. I knew I didn't have such sum and I even can't borrow it from someone here. Genady was very sorry for me. He said such things happen often. The government conduct some program and doesn't fund it. Genady also said the department gave the date of the flight. It's on June 6. So I have some time to find money.
After the talking I went to bank trying to get a loan. But when they leant I was coming to the USA they refused to me. I talked to my friends trying to find money but I knew they didn't have such sum.
This is my salary for 6 months. I tryed to ask for sponsorship in some commercial companies but they don't want to deal with me without any profit.
Genady said I need to find a private sponsor and I thought about you.
Alfredo I didn't want to ask you for any help. I wanted to do everything by my own. But I don't have any other options. You know my plane is on June 6, 2006.
I must be in Moscow with money by this time. I will fly to the USA if I have money and I won't fly in other cases. I have not enough time to find money here and I want to ask you to be my sponsor. Alfredo I understand everything you may think about me. I hate asking people for money and I always try to do everything by my own. But now I really need your financial assistance. I estimated everything. I will reimburse you this sum in one month. I also can pay you extra money back. I will work in California for sure. I don't know where yet but I'll try to be as close as possible. I will learn the hospital in New York city and I'll call you from there. I will earn at least $3500 a month and they will provide housing for me. You see I will be able to return you the money. Alfredo you are the only man I know in the USA. I don't want to mix our relationship and money. But I don't have anyone else to ask for this help. I know if things even will not work out between us we will remain good friends. I don't want to lie you and say that I love you. I can't say it to a man I have never met. But you must know that I have the warmest feelings for you and I want to develop them. You know what this travel means for me. It is my only chance to come to America and start new life. It also maybe new life start for you... or for us. I am honest woman and I honestly tell you that I will never hurt you or cheat you.
I will be there for ten months. This is more than enough to make a decision about us.
Alfredo I have already told you about my plans for future. I want to come to the USA, earn some money to start my own business and find good man to love each other and enjoy our life together. I think I have already found this man... Smile. YOU. When I heard from Genady that my future ruined I was so stressed and confused. I don't want to give it up. I still have my hope. You are the only man who can help me.
Alfredo, be my sponsor! Help me to overcome it, please.
I will wait for your answer with all my hope.
p.s. You can see my passport. I scaned it for our department and decided to send you a copy. I like the picture in it. :-)
How are you?
I am fine. Hope you are all right too.
Thank you for your warm letter. I am really interested to learn about you as much as possible. I will have enough free time and try to write you more frequently next week.
Alfredo last days I have been a little nervous. Why?
Because I am a little afraid of having new serious relationship,
particularly, a relationship with you, because I want a relationship with you to work out. I want it to happen, to mature and excel.
Another reason I am nervous is because a serious relationship is a big step. A big step for both of us. And lastly, I am nervous of the possibility that you will say something like "You are a great friend,
and I think we should keep things that way". I think I want more. It is based on what you have written me, what you have told me about you,
and what you have told me of your thoughts, life and so on.
I think that I really want to develop our relationship. I know it may be premature for me to think this way. But I do because I feel this way.
I tried to analyse all my thoughts and fears and I found their source.
I feel this way because we have met by non-traditional way. We met in the Internet. I have never had such experience before you. The matter is the fact of our communication but not the way. An important point is that we can learn each other and imagine our characters in our minds. I think it's great.
Tomorrow I am coming to Saint-Petersburg. I will have a talk with our regional programm manager. There are still many questions to solve. They must give me my documents and papers for the travel. Also they will tell me about financing my participation.
Our trade union promised to pay my travel. It includes an air ticket,
food, transportation and hotel until I settle in a new place. But I am a little nervous, what if they can't pay. There was a precedent when our trade union gave the promises and never held them. I know a good person in our trade union in Saint-Petersburg. His name is Genady, his wife worked with me for some time and we are good friends now. He deals with all finances and salaries for our workers. When I met him last time he said they had been waiting for federal funds and money hadn't came yet. Sometimes it didn't come for half an year. Health care is poorly supported by the state in Russia and our trade union is not well one.
Nevertheless I hope everything will be all right.
I have learnt that another doctor from our region participates in the exchange programm too. And I will meet her tomorrow. Maybe we will work together in the same place. I was also told that about 40 doctors from different places of Russia will come to the USA for the program.
I will tell you details about my trip to Saint-Petersburg next time.
Alfredo I can't think about anything but my travel to the USA. I am not crazy about making money or carrer. I don't like money for what they are. I am glad about what possibility this travel opens for my future. You are also in my plans... :-) ... at high position. New country, new work, new people and our meeting, all that makes me excited a lot. I don't want to stay friends. I want more. ;-) I am crazy, we never met. Not at all. I hope everything will work out between us.
I'd like to have your phone number. Please let me know it.
I will call you from New York city when I come. Tell me what way I can easily reach you. I don't have a telephone at home so I won't be able to call you until I come.
Well, I have to go now. I will write you again soon.
p.s. I am sending another picture of me. It's me with my friend's dog Laima. She is very smart and loving dog. The picture is a little old but I like it.
Thank you for your letter. I like receiving your messages. It really makes my day. :-) It is so great we both enjoy our talking. Your letters mean a lot for me.
You asked how I learnt English. I study it in the school, than at the University. I also read English books and web-sites in the Internet. I can read and write well but I need more practice in speaking.
I have some news for you. I have been working for last week in my hospital and preparing for my travel. Last days were very busy here. I had to arrange all documents and pass the papers to another doctor.
You even can't imagine what bureaucrats are the doctors. :-) I have written tons of papers for last days. Fortunately I have done almost everything. Regarding my travel I will come to New York first and we will contract there. They said different hospitals offer various conditions and we will make the choice where to come. It will take me a day or two to arrange papers and then I will go to destination to settle in a new place.
Alfredo yesterday's evening I had a talking with my two best friends.
The closest friends of mine come to me sometimes to talk or watch TV or a film in the evenings. We talk about my future. :-) Yes, it is the hottest news here.
I told them a little about you and our plans to meet when I come. My friends think you are a worthy man. But asked me to be cautious. I understand their feeling but by my heart I feel you are honest man and you can't deceive me.
We talked about my will to move to the USA permanently. Probably it is too early to think about it but who knows. At first I want to come,
settle at the new place and meet you. Alfredo I found myself thinking about you often. I know we are friends and it is OK. But my thoughts about you come further sometimes. ;-) May I ask you. What do you think about me as your possible soulmate? This is a direct question. And I want us to be honest and trust each other. It is a good basis for our relationship.
As for me I can see you as my possible life partner from your letters and thoughts. I believe you are the man with nice soul. The future will show. We will have enough time to meet and learn each other to make a decision. :-)
I will tell you a little about me and my life here.
My daily routine is not interesting. I get up at 7 am and go to the hospital, where I stay till 5 pm. As usual I take a bus to get there,
sometimes I go on foot. It is nice to breathe morning fresh air.
I am back home at 6 pm. Do everything in the flat, cook dinner, read something or watch TV. Two times a week I go to a gym to make some aerobics and exercises to keep in shape. Sometimes I go to the library and cybercafe to read articles and news and write you a letter. :-) In other days I meet friends, go to the cinema or walk in the park.
Alfredo may I ask you a question. They said I will earn about $40 000 a year in the USA. Is it enough to live in good conditions and save money? I don't know well your standards. Please tell me a little about it. I know we have another incomes and prices here in Russia. I'd like to have some ideas about how much different things like food, clothes,
cars, flats or houses cost. I earn little money here. But I am enough satisfied with it. I live in my parents' flat and it saves much money for me. I have a TV set and DVD player at home. I have a bicycle and good skis. I can drive a car and I'd like to have a car of my own but I can't afford it. To say the truth I don't need a lot of money to be happy :-). I just need comfortable conditions and nothing more.
I thought about my life and recent events. You know from my last relationship with man I understood that the connection between man and woman is very delicate. It needs efforts from both sides to be supported and developed. You can't just date, make love and say words.
It is more deeper. My ex-boyfriend was a journalist. Some my pictures were taken by him. He was more than just a journalist, he was a creator. Our parting was not a tragedy. In the certain time we both understand we are not together and decided to break it. I don't miss him. It was the best we could do. Alfredo I don't know why I tell it to you. Now I want to create full relationship and I know how to do it. I will try to give all my soul to my man and I need his one for me. Well don't get it too close. It is just my thoughts and I'd like to share it with you.
Alfredo I want you to have my postal address:
12-6 Lenina street
Sertolovo, Leningrad region,
I want you know it just in case I can't write you an email. Please,
don't send anything to me. I would feel very uncomfortable to accept it if I would get them. Our postal system is very unreliable and I don't want you waste your money. Alfredo also give me your postal address, in case if I don't email you, I may send you some card to let you know I am ok.
Well, I must cut my letter here. Write me more. Everything you think and you do. I like to read your letters.