Letter(s) to Reiner (Germany)

Letter 1

Hi my Reiner!
How your mood? Any your mood today I want to try to make even better. This morning I didn't go to my job, because this morning I flew to my job. Today I came to my job beforehand. And I was first who came to the office. And I was happy all the day. My colleagues were surprised. They have asked me why I'm so happy. And I have simply answered that I have good mood. I have understood long ago but was afraid to admit to itself, that I have found to you feeling which did not feel before. I want to understand what in my heart. I want to feel your breath. I don't know, what's happened with me. Likely I can be named strange lady, but I have grown fond of your soul and heart. The rest is not important for me. For me the material world is not important. Only the world of calmness, fidelity and pure heart. It didn't happen to me before.
The weather is sunny today. The sun brings joy. I'm glad that I have friend Reiner, and Reiner has me,Marina. Tell me about your thoughts and dreams. I want to know all about you. Absolutely all!(smile). BUT! Today my boss informed me that I will have a vacation approximately in 2 or 3 weeks. But I have not been pleased. I did not expect that I will receive a vacation. But schedule constituted by accounts department not change. I have begun to cry, because it means that I cannot write to you. I cannot use a computer. Then I have found out that lady which gives me to use her computer, maybe will receive a vacation right after me, and if it will take place I can not use a computer two months. I have imagined that I should spend my vacation in my house, between four walls. I will sit without an opportunity to read your letters, I will sit in loneliness and to think of you. I will aimlessly wander on streets and every night fall asleep with tears on eyes. I waited my vacation the whole year and now I receive them but it do not bring to me pleasure. I have imagined that I should spend some months without you and in my heart has appeared awful emptiness. All world around became uninteresting for me. And I have told to myself: "NO! It not for me!" Last night I thought of us. About you and about me. About us together. I couldn't fall asleep. I thought what I can do to see you. I decided to spend this vacation with you. I thought what can I do to meet you. Simply to meet. It's all that I want now. I have a passport, but I don't a visa to your country.
Today I have addressed visas agency. I wondered how much it will cost for me to make Germany visa. They told me that consideration of the application on reception of the visa costs 150 dollars. This sum does not come back even in that case if my application will not be approved. And for getting a visa is necessary to go to Moscow where there is an Germany consulate. They have told that I will must visit set of various departments, state and medical institutions both in Nizhni Novgorod, and in Moscow. It is necessary to wait for a long time the queue. It is a usual way of getting a visa and procedure of reception can be delayed for some weeks or even months. Besides if my application will not be approved, it will turn out that I squander money all for nothing. I said I can't wait so long. To me have told that is possible to avoid set of problems and to make all in faster terms if to use full package of service (FPS). Full package of service includes additional payments for a category of the visa, consular services, preparation for Interview with commission, interview. The full package of service costs 385 dollars, but the visas agency remove all problems and thus increases the chance of getting a visa without excessive delays. I asked how long time it will take to get a visa If to use a full package of service. They have answered that it will take about one week. Maybe 2 weeks if there will be some troubles. I have told that this variant satisfies me and I agree. I have asked, whether there will be troubles with visa. I was answered that they will request information about me in the police. And if in the police they will be answered that I the law-abiding citizen, I will get the visa. I have never outraged the law. And I have never done anything unlawful. I will have preparation for interview. It will help me to receive the visa. And I really have registered the visa application with great belief and with great hope that you will be glad to meet me, with belief and with hope that you want to meet me. I really want to give you a gift - our meeting though I am not sure if you really want to meet me. Can you imagine that if everything will be well, in two weeks we can meet? If it would happen, would be it as a gift for you? Would be you happy if we could spend some days together? I know that you did not expect that I will tell all this. But it is possible to wait eternally. But in fact nobody knows that waits for us tomorrow. Maybe such opportunity will not be presented any more. I have opened to you my heart and soul. I speak what I feel. I am not confused by my feelings. I speak straight and openly. The loneliness has made me courageous. You can think that I hurry events. But I have found new feeling which never had. I am happy right now. I seem I has found what searched for long time. In Russia speak: "under a lying stone the water doesn't flow ". It mean that it is necessary to do a step onward to achieve something. I am afraid to lose an opportunity to communicate with you because I cannot eternally use office computer. But I will receive soon a vacation. During all my life I spent my vacation in my village. But now I can spend my vacation with my friend, with you! It is big happiness. I should use this opportunity. In my heart never was such confidence and feeling. And I am afraid to lose it. May be I hurry events, but I am afraid that all will be terminated, and then I will go mad. You my dear friend, and friends meet sometimes. I shall receive a vacation, it's my vacation and I want to spend it with my dear friend. I think it will be wonderful. I apologize, if have offended you. I hope, that you do not regard my words as impudence. I simply want to meet and spend some happy days with you. What will be after, I do not know. But all people meet. The distance does not frighten me. But without a meeting there can not be a continuation. I hope, that your feelings to me have not changed after that. But I want to see you to slightly becalm my tormented heart. Tell me please, can you meet me? Tell me please, you will be glad to meet me? You will be glad if I will arrive to you? I believe and I hope that I have not angered and have not offended you. I believe and I hope that you have feelings to me. I believe and I hope that you want to meet me. It can be outlined in advance by destiny. I sincerely hope that my letter has brought pleasure to you. And I sincerely hope that you want to meet me to spend some time together. And I sincerely hope that you would be happy to meet me. Would you be happy?
Much tenderness from Marina!

Letter 2

Hi my dear Reiner. I for you have very good news. Today I was in Moscow and passed interview to the commission. I in the beginning so strongly was nervous and experienced that I shall tell that that not as it is necessary. But then I have concentrated and have answered all questions which to me the commission has set. And to me have told that on Wednesday I can take away the visa.
I understand that our relations are not long yet. Many years I ask myself one question: " Why everything depends on money? " I think that the money is not main thing in life. The main is when the people can and want to understand each other. I have a wild desire to meet you, to embrace you. I have some savings. I do not want to cause you a monetary outlay. I will make all myself itself, but unfortunately I will not have not enough my savings to arrive to you. Because after I have learned that will give me the visa, I at once have gone to travel agency and have learned the ticket how many will cost that I could arrive to you. And to me have told that the ticket costs from 600 dollars and is higher. I thought that the ticket to you costs not so dearly. I had monetary outlay when I did the visa and went to Moscow. Now I have 150 dollars and I do not have not enough 450 more dollars. Dear you can help me with this money, these are 450 dollars?
Please forgive to me all my words. I speak so because I am in despair and confusion. Now, when only one step is separated us, I am afraid. I am afraid that you will not help, and all my diligence will have no use. I need you and I want to be with you and the word of honor, your help is necessary for me. I have not calculated my forces. But together we are much stronger. We will pass through difficulties and barrier, it is much easier to do it together. I want to present you all my infinite love and fidelity. I understand that it is the big money for you. I did not want to ask you. I thought that I can make all itself. The loneliness has made me strong. I have got used to live without help, and to rely only on myself. I ask somebody for help very seldom, but now I ask you to help me. I have made a step forward. Make your step towards me. I hope that I have not offended you something. I need you and I trust you. I know, that you will not throw me now when there is only one step between us.
I am waiting for your reply.
Kiss you.
Your Marina.