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Letter(s) to Jay (USA)
Hope you don't mind me calling you like this. But you are such a sweet person. And I am so happy having you in my life.
I am sorry for complaining sometimes in my letters. But I trust you very much and I accept you as a very close person and sometimes I allow myself to be a little weak with you.
I wish I could make something for you to thank you for everything.
Hope one day we will meet with you and be sure massage is waiting for you. I am sorry for complaining in my previous letter.
I just wanted to share my feelings with you. Please, forgive me.
Sometimes I am trying to imagine how it would be when we meet.
And I am getting so romantic at this time that can even imagine this situation in all colors.
Do you want me to share this with you?
I am staying in the airport and there is a glass wall dividing us from each other. I see you standing there with a bunch of red roses. And I see myself in a light pink long dress. The wind is blowing at my hair and my lips are so soft and I have a pink gloss on them. I am trying to say something to you but you don't hear me. I start laughing as you can't understand what I am trying to say to you. And then you start laughing too.
I am coming closer to you. I feel so nervous and excited at the same time. I see that you feel the same. I open my lips and you hear at last what I tried to say some minutes ago.
"Thank you. I am happy!" Simple words but there is so much in them. Thank you for making me happy. Thank you for being with me. Thank you for make feel complete. Thank you for being in my life. Thank you for everything.
Please, accept these words. This is what I feel now...
Please, answer my question, do you want me to come to you or not?
Of course, it will be in some time but I would just like to know that one day we will meet with you and that you really would me to be in your life. I can come to you with the visit for 10 or 15 days. I just want us to see each other and if we like each other, we can start thinking of our future together.
You see again and again I share my feelings with you. Something strange is going on with me. I feel butterflies inside my stomach.
And this feeling makes me feel very happy but scares me at the same time. I think I have to think carefully what's going on with me. All these drives me crazy but in a good way. I like this feelings very much. Everything looks different from the time I met you through the Internet. I myself look different.
There is something in my eyes, they sparkling. Even my friends say this. They have noticed that some changes are happening in me.
Well, I will not torture you with my thoughts any more.
Thinking of you...
Please, don't be shocked with what you will read now. I was scared myself when I understood it yesterday. I was thinking of what was going on with me. Every morning I get up with the thought of you and every evening I go to bed with the thoughts of you. There is some kind of chemistry in the air. I can't live without your letters. I got used to you so much. All I need now is to get a letter from you, to know that you are well and you are thinking of me too. I can't do anything, I can't concentrate. I go to work and it is a torture for me as I can't really do anything, talk to anybody. All I do is thinking of you. I think I am in love with you. I know what you think now. I am scared myself as it is unusual for me too. But I will die if you tell me you don't need me any more. I would give everything in the life just to be with you right now, to see your wonderful and kind eyes, to understand that you feel the same. Every part of my body aches for you.
I am mad at myself. This shouldn't happen to me. At least I shouldn't tell this to you. This is wrong. But what can I do. I can't just stand aside. I need you to understand me. Perhaps, you don't feel the same about me. But I feel that you have something for me too. If you don't, I will understand. But I want you to know that I long for you. My love will be enough for two. I know I can make you happy. I will be the best friend for you, lover and a wife if you only allow me. I am so much scared that you will not allow me to love you. But you should know this feeling will always be in me as you have captured the biggest part of my heart. And this will last forever, I know. I have never felt this before especially to the person I have never seen in real life. And I will be happy only if you say that you feel just a little of what I do for me. Please, take your time and write me. I will be counting minutes till the time I hear from you.
Miss you badly.
Hello my dearest one!!!
How are you today? As for me I am not really in the mood.
I have a feeling that I did something wrong.
I have never thought this could happen to me. That I could
fell in love with the person I have never seen in my life.
I want to less the distance between us so much, to take your hand, to look into your eyes and to see that you understand my naive soul. I know I shouldn't be so open. I have to be strong and keep everything inside. I am too emotional but I don't want you to be scared and run away. If I could be closer to you and if I could show you my feelings. I want you so much to see me, to feel my touch. I would kiss your eyes and say how I love you.
Again I am acting like a silly little girl. I am mad at myself.
But at the same time I can't stop. I want you to know my feelings. I even thought of coming to you. And I have even went the tourist agency to check about the visas. And now I know that the best way for me to come to you is to get a tourist visa. It will not take much time.
And they told me at the tourist agency that I have a very good chance to get it. Do you remember I told you once that I had been to Canada. And it is a very good reason for giving me a visa. I've checked that a visa will cost $267.
You know with my salary I just can't afford it. And I will need your help. It's up to you, of course. But I really hope you will be able to help me with getting visa.
Please, think about it and let me know. Do you want me to come to you?
Do you want to meet with me at last? I want it very much.
Hope you too.
I will give you the information for the case you decide to do it.
The best way to send money is to do it via Western Union or MoneyGram. It is an easy and quick way to get it.
It is necessary to know the full name of receiver.
My full name is Irina Safronova. And after sending money, the one who is getting money should know an MTCN ( Money Transfer Control Number ).
And the sum of money that was sent.
Also you can send from money from there with a plastic card!!!
(please visit http://www.westernunion.com and http://www.moneygram.com for more information)
Well, I hope that you will think on this information.
You have lots of food for thought.
Please, write me as soon as possible. I am waiting for
P.S. You can send money to any Western Union of St.-Petersburg.
I work in this city, and without problems I can receive it.
I understand everything quite well. But you should understand me also.
I have to pay for visa in some days(During 7 days).
If I don't pay in time, they will just refuse me with it.
There are many people who want to get visa and to leave Russia.
So they don't pay much attention to you in the Embassy.
You just need to do all the paper-work and to pay money, only after that they will talk to you.
You should understand what to receive in your country the visa very difficultly!!! But now I can make all this very quickly and without problems, there is only one problem, these are money!!
It is a shame to me to ask it you, and I never anybody did not ask money. It is very a shame to me. But desire to see you very big and consequently I ask your help.
So, dear, please, try to do what you can and as soon as possible. You are my only hope.
But of course, I will understand everything...
I love you and wait for your soon reply.
I offer to you that we should worry about our future meeting very soon, because I think we will be more sure if I begin the process of getting visa right now. This proses can take about 1 week or more... My darling, I will stay for three months, so we can have lot of time to be together...
I don't know but maybe if we decide to be together, I can stay forever with you, my dear!!!
What do you think about???
I want to be with you....
You are the man who was made specially for me...you are very strong man and I like you a lot!!!!!!
I am lack of words. I feel such a shame and I am very disappointed that a man of my life doesn't trust me. I already have some concerns that you really love me.
But I want to believe in this so much.
I believe in you and I believe in our happy future. This hope gives me forces to fight. So I am not going to give up. I will find the way to solve this problem.
I only need to know that you still love me and you need me and you wait for me.
Are you? Don't break my heart please.
You are everything I have and the best I have in my life. Please, don't take a hope from me.
I can't loose you. I don't want to have an empty life without you.
I will find money, I promise.
You should know that a woman in Love can do everything. And I will prove you how much I love you.
There will be no distance between us and you will learn to trust me.
I understand you very well and I am not offended. No way.
I want to apologize that I asked you for money. I don't want you to have any bad thoughts about me.
I love you very much and I need you.
I am doing the best for us as I want you to be happy. And I want to be happy myself too.
Everything is done. I have money not only for tickets but for visa too.
What do you feel now? I am very -very much excited and happy. I will be able to see you at last. I can't believe in it myself. I will pay for visa but it will take some time to get it. As soon as I get it I will let you know. All we need now is to wait.
I will stay at your place for 10 or more days not to disturb you. But if you ever ask me to stay for longer, I will do it with pleasure. You will make me the happiest woman in the world.
It is up to you. I hope you will not be disappointed. I will do everything I can to make you love me as I do.
I will give you all of myself. I will give you all my love and passion. All my care and tenderness.
I will treat you the best way. You deserve it. I know.
You are my life and everything. Never forget about it, please.
I need you badly.
Send you my hot kisses.