Letter(s) to Dan (Belgium)

Letter 1

Hello Danny,
Many thanks for replaying on my add. I was very glad to receive your message.
I am very glad that we have posibillity know each other throught internet, because two persons wich live in different points of the world can meet and be together. A couple words about me. Those words of me I prepared in the past to tell about myself. It is an honest and accurate description of me and my personality. If it appeals to you I can promise you I am exactly how I represent myself. You will never find a better and more loving, faithful, devoted, woman than me. First I have to tell you that I am a good speaking English (I hope), and I think it is quite important.
So, my real name is Helen. I am 29, my birthday is on Febr. 25th, 1974, weight 54kg. (115 lbs) and my height is 168(5.6). I have been married before, but divorced 4 years ago. And have no kids.
I was born and now living in Odessa, south of Ukraine. It is about 500 miles from Kiev the capitol of Ukraine. In Odessa is about 1.500,000 people hear and one million in the bay area. I have my mother living in Odessa and brother living in Moscow. My mother is working for the University as a fisics teacher and my brother working at the bank in Moscow (40 years old). My fater has passed away about 6 years ago from the heart illness. Loosing my father has hurted me greatly and this is something I hope I never have to go thru again. He was a great man. It was a really sad way to see him go. But I know he is in no pain now. My Mom lives in Odessa and is doing not very well since the passing of my Dad. She and I are really close. She is really great.
I have just finished the University as an Architector. But I don't work because I can't find any job. So, I am living in a one bedroom flat with my mother. I like music, literature, sport, very like nature and many other things. I dream to meet with person, who will be a real friend for me, and do never make me down, who will love me for who I am and respect my interests.
The life isn't simply for me now but I hope the God will give me the chance to be happy. I want know more about your character. What is most important for you in a person. How do you spend your day?
I don't know too much about your country, but if you want you can tell me about this. Odessa is a seas city placed on the seashore of the Black Sea. The center of city have an old architecture, many museums, theaters, public places, art galleries and monuments. Many beaches placed along seashore and many tourists come to Odessa at all seasons. Now the weather is very cold and snow storming. I used to go to the seaside and to watch on the sea, especially in the evening. I like dream at this moment. I'm fond of reading books particularly on rainy days or on a cold winter evening. What about you? What do you like to do when the rain is going?
I like animals and but don't have any by my own. I do not smoke and I love sport very much. I like swimming. Do you like sport? What kind of sport do you like? I love flowers and to grow them up. I love to travel very much. When is you birthday?
I decided to place my add in the Internet not in a moment. After too much of thinking during long time I placed my add. I had it done just now. I must say truth: I receive many messages from men. But I placed my add at the Internet not for the correspondence. My main goal is marriage. I sure, that a meeting is more important than writing a 100 letters! It does not mean that I believe we should not write. I believe in corresponding (short) as a way to exchange ideas and to know more about each others dreams, desires, strengths, weaknesses and so on. But as I said, our meeting and taking time to become acquainted is most important! I am sorry, I ask you a lot of questions but I would love to learn more about you, because I like you. Well I will closer my message and wait your answer soon. Pease send me your photo and answer soon to : helenc@tekom.odessa.ua
I wish you a nice week and keep smile.
Helen.

Letter 2

Hello Danny,
First of all, thank you for your letter, picture and interest to me. I have re-read your leter many times and I find that you are very attractive to me. You seems to me so charming, intellectual and both serious and cheerful man. I am not sure what to write or how to begin. I think it is more difficult to meet with words, letters, and photos than it is in real life, person to person. But I do think it might have some advantages. It can be more personal in some ways. Maybe more honest.
Okay Danny, I want to prepare you I am writing a long letter and it is not usual for me, but I wanted to answer any questions that you might have and let you know a little bit more about me. Forgive me (in advance) if it is boring to you. IMPORTANT!
Although I have a computer on my own I just got service of Internet provider for a correspondence, because before I had no internet at my home, but I came to realize that if I want to find someone for a life time I should start from somewhere. So, although it is hard for me to pay monthly for an internet I did my fisrt step to find you and got the internet. As the matter of fact, I read and write in English quite well. I speak English as well also, but I have no an opportunity for a practice.
By the way, my birthday is on Febr. 25, 1974. I will be 30:-)
Well Danny, my childhood. I have two vivid recollections from my childhood.
The first of them, this is teacher of calisthenics - strong, beautiful, slim woman, who was in her thirties. I wanted to look like her very much. It seems to me I reached this now, except the age:-) When I was 12 years old I stopped my lessons, because I grew up taller than 163 cm. It's maximum reasonable growth for calisthenics. It was very ruefully. I had good achievements by that time. And the second recollection is my farming in Grandparents little house. I planted potatoes. It goes without saying I did this not by myself. I was as an assistant of my grandmother. I cherished a hope to see results my work, but a whole plantation was eaten by the Colorado beetle. I hate those beetles since then. :-) Well, as I have told you I am living with my mother and daughter and my mother is supporting me time to time as I cannot work. As about my marriage and divorce....There is not truly too much to say. I married him when I was 25 years old. I wanted to have a family so badly so married him whitout even knowing if I ever loved him or not. He treated me like a prinsess and said too much words of love to me and I thought his love would be enought for both of us.....but I was so very wrong. God knows I did everything I could to make this marriage works out even thru I never really loved him. I have never cheated on him, I was always true and did my best to make him happy.....but then, after some time, he turned to be absolutelly another person, not the same when I married him.....I think he was cheating on me.....basically he took me for granted......So we got divorced in three years. And so, we are divorced more than one year ago. I am calm, sincere, resolute and a tender person. I am a quite romantic person too. I like nice everything, fashion clothes, difference costume, jewelers. I like clothes of difference styles - different dresses: two-piece, evening dresses, house dresses and high-necked dress too; clothes of classic style and sport clothes. I like an elegance shoes of different styles. Green, orange, black, white, lilac, blue are my preferable colors. But my favorite color is red. I like very much a nature, flowers, a grass. I would like to plant different trees, shrubbery's and flowers. My favorite flower is a rouse.
I drink socially. I like a sweets and a white wine. I go to sport club for aerobic and training. Sometimes I go to a swimming pool. I enjoy watching TV, reading detectives, history and advantage literature, love-novel, magazines and newspapers.
A sociable life is of importance to me, and I like to dress-up and go out for dinner, dinner parties, meetings friends with. I have a cultural side as well, which includes going to the theatre, opera, cinema or art-exhibitions. About the values of my life I am not strictly religious, meaning I don't attend usually churches, but I believe in high moral values coming from Christian tradition, such as truth, respect of individual dignity, solidarity, understanding.I want to say that for me the basic things are love and family and in my conceptions to life they have the priority on the rest. I also have a sense of humor and I have a sense of adventure. I think a person needs to have an ability to laughat life and himself sometimes. My current lifestyle reflects that I am single. If I get involved in a proper serious relationship my lifestyle will of course be adapted accordingly - taking your wishes and dreams into account. Unfortunately, it's very difficult (it's impossible) to find a match in my country. The most part of men isn't able to support a family. If a man is rather well-to-do, he behaves as snob. As I know the men, who live in Western Europe, USA and other civilization are able to due a woman. It's main reason of my search a soulmate outside Ukraine. How nice it would be to have someone to share life with! Someone to share your dreams and vision someone to listen to and talk with someone who shares the burden, and the joy of life! Is this too much to dream about? Please write me back and tell me about you Danny, your family, and what your life is like. Tell me about your job, interests, and what is important to you. What do you dream about when you look up into the sky, on a cold, clear, winter night, with the stars shining bright? I know that this is a rather long letter, but you are the man! I wanted to try and answer all of the questions that you may have, and let you know more about me. Of course, there is much more to ask you and tell you, but I want you to know that I am interested in knowing you much more. I hope to hear you soon.
Warmest regards,
Helen.
P.S. I am sending you the picture that my friend took of me yesterday in my bedroom.

Letter 3

Hello Danny,
It is pleasant for me to hear from you once again as apart of you sound interest, it also means that you care.
I found your letter very interesting and very impressive, I really would like to get to know you better, so hopefully one day soon enough, we would be able to meet in person and get what both of us are looking for. I had more replies and to be honest with you, I found your letter the most interested, so I have choose to write to you, that means that I have stoped correspondence with any one else, because I want to devote all my attention to you. You know Danny, I have just realized that I said in my previous letter that I live with my mother and daughter. Well, I wsa mistaken, I am sorry. I have said in my first letter that I don't have kids. But what I was trying to say is that I live with my mother and my brother daughter. I am sorry for misunderstanding.
I have met some other guys after my divorce, because I always knew I need to have a family, to take care of someone and love someone. But it seems like I met so many wrong people in my short life that at some point in my life I thought I would never find the right one for me. But with the times goes by, I realized that I have to stop looking and just to be waiting for someone, as I am sure the best things in life always happends when you less excpect it....don't you agree Danny? Of course we should meet to find out if we meant to be together. I feel and I know that for me to get to know who you really are I need to come to you first, to see your life there, to meet your friends, to meet your family, to be around you there. This way I could find out if I could be there with you for a life time. For me to come to you it is realize your world and if I wish to be part of it. And if I would come to you first we could make a desicion right there and right then. So, my point is would you like me to come to visit you for a while for the first time? Think about it please and let me know your thoughts on it. Although I like travelling, I had never been abroad before, as I never could afford to, but I really would like to visit other countries. Also I am not afraid a difference in the mentality. I ready to assimilate any culture, nationalities basics and traditions. But I'd prefer to have to do with a close culture. I know, it will be very difficult for me to find a job, at least at first time. But it's not impossible. If we would get to like each other a lot through this correspondence, and decide to get married or live together, how would your family and friends take it that you would be marrying an Ukrainian girl? I need a man to come home to, a man to give me his affections and one I can give mine in return. I need a best friend and a sexual lover.
I decided to place my add hoping the right man would come into my life and change it forever. I must say the truth: I don't know exactly, what a type of man I look forward. I need to feel my man. Therefore we need to spend some time together. It seems to me, that the time for these exams will be longer than one or two weeks. But, who knows? What about "chemistry"? I believe in love from the first sighnt! And you?
What things are important in your life Danny? In a relationship, I think trust is the single most important fundamental item. With trust, understanding and commitment are possible. Without trust, nothing is possible. I think if you only look in a certain vicinity, you are not being fair to yourself. Once again we share the same feelings about real life fairy tales. I believe that when you meet that person with whom you can connect intellectually, emotionally and physically, you feel like you are in a fairy tale. I am very romantic, and enjoy quality time and emotional connection. I am a big believer in respect, especially when it comes to relationships. I also believe very strongly in being faithful to my man. Maybe part of the reason I feel so strongly about it is because I was in a relationship where the other person was not faithful. I remember how bad it felt and how much it hurt, and I would not want to inflict that pain on someone I care about. I also believe that relationships require work, just like anything else in life, if you want to gain the benefits, you must make the effort. I shall stop here for today and I hope that you are still very interested in me and write to me again when you can. Take care.
With love
Helen.

Letter 4

Dear Danny,
First of all I want to thank you for having written, it really means much for me. I hope you will be back from Holland soon and will write me again.
You have definitely given me some long, hard, serious thought to what you want in life and in love Danny.
My mother doesn't mind if I find someone to love from another country and leave, because my mother wants me to be happy no mater where I am. Last two days I am talking with my mom a lot about you. Of course she is wishing me to be happy. She doesen't know English language and when I read some phrases from your letters it makes her smille. She said it doesen't matter what language person is using for writing the letter, the matter is what inside of that person. I can understand her, she is right. Of course it would be difficult for her if I will leave to the other country. But I asked her opinion about my future and she said that she want me to be happy no matter what, and no matter where I will be. I think love is not limited geographically, and even if I have other means to meet someone with whom I could fall in love, I am not against the way of internet to have the first contact with a person that I would have never be able to be in touch otherwise. When two persons lived together, it's not to make war or difficulties to the other. It's to help together, to be tender and united. I think soul is very important, more important than physic. It's sometime difficult to love and to be loved. The common live need a lot of understanding and respect, but I strong believe in those values. I think in Ukraine, people are very selfish and individualist so I search for someone from another country. And I think we share traditional values about family, respect and understanding. I'm very sentimental and sensual. I love to give tenderness. I have some difficulties to say my sincerity with a letter. A real meeting will be better and more authentic. I don't know if my English can translate my thought and I don't know if your understand me. Ah Danny, but now comes the other side to a relationship. So I will share my thoughts with you: Two people need to make a commitment forever. Not just the good times, but the difficult times as well. A man and a woman must be open to whatever changes may come their way. And yet, they must hold fast to their belief in one another and their love. They must have the open communications that are so vital - a willingness to talk about anything and every thing. A deep acceptance of the others individuality - that they need not be, think, act the same. In spite of the differences, they will always seek to return to the common ground which caused them to love in the first place. It is all to easy to just give up on a relationship when times are tough or when there are disagreements. It is so much more difficult to say, "We will not allow differences to come between us". That is the biggest part of commitment, and the hardest. Yes, the warmth and sharing, the touch and the caring are important. But the commitment to make it through the hard times TOGETHER is just as important. Two people who want to walk through life together must choose to walk the rough climb as well as the gentle downward slope. They must face the angry words and disappointments and seek resolution, just as they must treasure those quiet, intimate times. To find one who can commit - who will never give up when times are hard, that is the challenge.
Okay Danny, I have probably bored you with my long letter, I am sorry, I will be waiting for your letter,
Sincerely and with love,
Helen.

P.S. Also my full address and name is:
Ukraine, Odessa, 65000,
per. Voroncovskiy 33, kv. 9.
Lunina Helen.

Letter 5

Dear Danny,
Thank you so much for your letter, it was very nice. It is such a great feeling to see a letter from you. I just cannot wait to read it. First of all I need to tell you that I have found a job for myself. You know that since i have finished my University I could not find a job, but now they have a place for me. So, I will be working as an architector in a small building company. The salary is very little, but it is better then not to work at all. So, I will be working 6 days a week, a Satday off, from 8.00 a.m. till 7.00 p.m. I know it does not sounds good, as I will have to work hard, but again, it is better then to work at all. I have to earn some money to help my mother. I will start working in two months. So, I have those two months still free from work and we could meet. Because I am afraid that when I go to work I will not have any free time and I will have my first vacation only next year. So, how do you feel about it Danny?
Of course we should meet to find out if we meant to be together. I feel and I know that for me to get to know who you really are I need to come to you first, to see your life there, to meet your friends, to meet your family, to be around you there. This way I could find out if I could be there with you for a life time. For me to come to you it is realize your world and if I wish to be part of it. And if I would come to you first we could make a desicion right there and right then. So, my point is would you like me to come to visit you for a while for the first time? Think about it please and let me know your thoughts on it. I love children, I find them to be so innocent and so loving, they love you for who you are, and show you many things in a different light. Colors, so bright and vibrant, full of life, how beautifull is the world with all its colors, immagine it without them, how sad it would all be, the redness of a sunset, the glory of the blue sky, the deep mistery of the blue sea, the colours that make you so beautifull to watch as if every time was for the first time all over again, all in one moment, all focus, all attention taken and placed in one place. I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you Danny, that despite the fact that we have never met, I am thinking of you, are you sleeping now ? Are you dreaming of me? Or are you lying there awake, staring at the celing with your eyes wide open in the dark wondering? It has been a glorious afternoon with the Sun setting in the evening turining the sky red and orage, deep move and blue, I sat in my room looking up at the sky as it slowly started to show it's stars to me and my thoughts wondered to you wishing to meet you somewhere as soon as possible, to touch you, to kiss you, to look into your eyes. Do you think that it will be soon Danny?
I'm not the person lying down in a sofa like a couch potato for hours. On the other hand I couldn't live without reading, watching lot of video tapes, going for exhibitions, having interest for the whole world. I want to have someone to love and share my life with. I love children and family. There is nothing better then having my own family to come home to. I don't ask a lot from people because I like to give more then to receive. The only thing a ask is that a person be them self and also truthful. I know that I'm far from being perfect but I'm a very giving person. To me there is nothing better than to see someone happy. I's even more rewarding when I know that I have put a smile on someone's face. I want you to know that my intentions are serious. I don't like to waste my time on people that don't know what they want out of life at least when it comes to a relationship. I have a goals that I want to accomplish, and I will. And of course my first goal is to have a happy family, to love and to be loved. >From your letter you seem like a nice person Danny. And I would love to meet you somewhere someday to get to know each other close and to see if there could be a feelings between us and if we could share a lifetime together. The only thing a ask of you is that you be truthful about yourself. If you can do that you will have my heart, soul, and love with out question. I will give you 110% all the time. I will be waiting for your letter.
Thinking of you always,
Yours,
Helen.

Letter 6

Dear Danny,
Thank you for your wonderful letters and thank you for being so honest and open with me. Always nice to hear from you. The story that you ahve sent me was wonderfull to read. Thank you very much for sharing this with me, it brings you a lot closer to me. You ask me about what do I want you to do? What next steps? I do really want us to meet, I do realy want to come to you. You know this and you know why.
So, tell me, do you want me to contact your Embassy to find out all about visas and prices?
I don't think I have to mention again how badly I am waiting for the time when I can see your eyes and see you in person, you know it, don't you Danny?
I believe in God, but I do not go to church. The way I look at it, and this is my view. God put us here to learn about life. Sometimes he deals us a bad card and we have to deal with it, if you are strong you will survive. Life is a journey and a learning lesson, if you spend all your time at church, what are you learning about life. Not very much. As long as I am a good, honest and trustworthy person, and I believe in God in my own thoughts and prayers that should be enough for him. The only way I will know otherwise is the day I meet my maker.
Sorry If I went on a little bit then but that is how I feel. You were honest with me and I am trying to be honest with you Danny.
I am often thinking why I decited to look for someone maybe abroad. Well, I think there are many reasons. I will go through some. I have had a few relationships in my own country, some good, some bad. But here it is far too easy to look elsewhere, relationships in this day and age are not considered serious enough. Times change and I am old fashioned at heart. Some other countries believe in the same values as me. I understand that the language may be a problem to start with but in time if the relationship is right, you know what each other is thinking without talking. You do not always communicate with speach.
In my country, a lot of people are very narrow minded and do not realise there is a world out there for exploring. I hope I am sort of making sense with all this and you can understand what I am saying. It is quite hard to explain.
I believe that your life is possibly mapped out for you before you start it, just sometimes you stray off the path. And it is a case of getting back on the path. I also believe one door closes, another one opens. I share the chores, and can cook and clean and iron very well, all things like that. I do not like arguements and fights. But they happen from time to time, that is where it's time for comprimise. I am fairly relaxed, but I am not a push over. I will let most things go by.
I Just think about what our life's will be like if we could be together. You give me something to look forward to. I want you to know that I have never been In real love before. Could you be the men that completes my life Danny? I wish that so much.
You know somehow I feel we will fall In love with each other. I'm looking forward to our time to be together, for our first meeting so much. I wonder If you are ready for this? This is a big commitment! Tell me what you think? I love the thought of us falling in love with each other. I will be waiting impatiently for your letter,
Missing you,
Yours,
Helen.
P.S. I am sending you the picture that I took last summer in a Opera House here in Odessa.

Letter 7

Dear Danny,
I was so happy to hear form you, you really do bring a smile into my heart, I love to read your words they are so full of truth and feeling, I just wish that they could be said to each other in person Danny. Thank you for a wonderfull poem. I really love it.
It was so nice to hear that you want me to come to you an d spend some time with you.
I understand about that story that has happened with your friends and mexican girl. But why do you think the same baout everyone? She got sick, maybe I will not got sick. You will never know until you try it. Do you agree with you?
Well, I think the best time for me to come to you would be March 20st and I could spend with you about 2-4 weeks. Would you like that? I mean, I would really love to be with you and get to know you much better as I feel there is a big chance that we could be happy together for a life time.
Thank you very much for willing to take care of my travel expencives. You are a reall getelman, and I do really appreciate it very much. Do you want me to call to your Embassy and find out all baout visas and prices? Just say yes, and I will call and then will let you know. Can I ask you, what do you mean by saying that youwill not send a blank cheque to the Ukraine? How can I show you that the cost is real? I just don't understand it.
You know, somehow I see that there is too much from your past that is bothering you. And you are trying to bring those bad memories into our relationship. Please don't !!! I ca tell you bad stories about myself as well and that I have one and a million reason not to trust you or anyone else. But I am not saying this. I am not living with my past, but I am looking to the future. Can you understand me?
So many people walk around with a chip on their shoulder thinking that the whole world has to bow down at them, they think that they are never wrong and look down at you whenever you say something that is contrary to what they state is right. I have no time in my life for that kind of person, there is no room for them in my heart, it is so silly to walk by in life believing that anger and pride can solve problems, that those words said in that momnet do not really count but because one is proud they find it so difficult to take it all back and say that they are sorry, that they did not mean to hurt you and that they wish to make it all better again. To me love and respect is natural Danny, there is no hiding ones self from his, he must know me as well as I know the palm of my own hand, when I look at him I will feel full of joy, secure in having made the right choice, knowing that he will be there by my side till the end of time, my life like a wave of the sea, rushing into land not knowing what expects her but reassured that he is there waiting. I am often wonder how much time goes by in the days of our lives where we wonder to our selves when will it be, when will I meet them, who are they, you dream with your eyes wide open, sometimes going in a bus, ohers walking down the road, your mind and heart with your immaginary lover, making him or her up as you go along, how very well I understand you if you have ever done the same, I think of you so very often, I go and check my letters at the computer very often hoping that you will have written a few words to me, I look so much forward now days to hear news of you that it brings me to distraction at my life. Who knows what the future holds for us, I have no idea what lies behind the corner of each day, I live every moment as if it was the last one in my life, drinking every drop out of the cup of life, so with these words I come to you in this letter wanting to know you so much more, it is so difficult over this distance, time and space but I have faith in you now, I realise that your heart is indeed a special place to be and would be honored of I got the chance to be able to go there one fine day and feel it's warmth with mine. These words of mine are all that I have, they are the only like that I posess to you, I have no other way of letting you know how much it would mean to me to keep you in my present day, every day, I am intrigued and want more, I am afraid but dare to go forward, I have dreams that I want to believe in but cannot till I see you, there is so much that remains to be said and done, I sit here wondering where all this is going to lead me, I hope it is towards you, it's only a wish, make it come true for me. So here I am again talking to you as if I really knew you Danny, as if all the wonders in the world were there for us to share and I can talk to you without the fear of projudice or malice, my words coming from me like the flow of a river, I have no idea where they come from but it is with great joy that I write them as I know that they will please you, making you heart run faster, warming you inside as if I was there to hold you close, feeling you for the first time, my words here are my feelings and I know that you can feel them too. I hope to hear from you very soon, I so much want understand all that is said and done between us, please write to me soon, tell me more about your past and what you feel about this feeling that is developing, talk to me about your heart, make me hear you inner voice as if it was for the first time like a woman without sight seing the light of day with new eyes. I look forward to hearing from you and You are on my mind, thinking of you and wishing you close.
Helen.

Letter 8

Dear Dan, Thank you for your letter, I was very happy to recieve it. I know I have said this in prevous letters, so forgive me if I am being redundant, but I am amazed at how similar our views are about relationships and romance. It is amazing, I am almost wondering, it is to good to be true? What I would give to share a life experiences with the man like you in my life. I dream of that special man whom I can call "my King". I don't know who he is yet either, but I know when I meet him I will feel like I am on Cloud Nine. Somehow I feel it could be you. As I told you before Dan, I love to swim, I love to be on the water, I find it to be so relaxing and soothing. Last year I went to the Cremia with my mother and I went on a little catamaran cruise. It was so beautiful, the water was so blue, and the gentle waves beneath me put me at complete ease. I am looking to meet my soulmate, and I am hoping that with this correspondence we can find out if we are who each other is looking for. I totally understand the importance of faithfulness, as I have mentioned in past letters, I believe very much in being faithful, I have been hurt by a man (my ex) who have not been faithful to me and it really hurts. I am a very sensitive person and do not wish to hurt others, and due to this could not imagine doing that to someone else. I am also a gentle person. I think it is very wrong to be abusive in the relationship. I think for a relationship to flourish, a few elements must exist. Those being respect, honesty and trust, I feel that if these are present then the love between two people can grow to unmeasurable bounds. I also love children, I find them to be so innocent and so loving, they love you for who you are, and show you many things in a different light. Colors, so bright and vibrant, full of life, how beautifull is the world with all its colors, immagine it without them, how sad it would all be, the redness of a sunset, the glory of the blue sky, the deep mistery of the blue sea, the colours that make you so beautifull to watch as if every time was for the first time all over again, all in one moment, all focus, all attention taken and placed in one place. I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you Dan, that despite the fact that we have never met, I am thinking of you, are you sleeping now ? Are you dreaming of me? Or are you lying there awake, staring at the celing with your eyes wide open in the dark wondering? It has been a glorious afternoon with the Sun setting in the evening turining the sky red and orage, deep move and blue, I sat in my room looking up at the sky as it slowly started to show it's stars to me and my thoughts wondered to you wishing to meet you as soon as possible Dan, to touch you, to kiss you, to look into your eyes. Do you think that it will be soon? I will be waiting for your next letter.
Wishing you were with me,
Thinking of you,
Lena.

Letter 9

Dear Dan,
I was so happy to hear form you, you really do bring a smile into my heart, I love to read your words they are so full of truth and feeling, I just wish that they could be said to each other in person. Of course we should meet to find out if we meant to be together. I feel and I know that for me to get to know who you really are I need to come to you first, to see your life there, to meet your friends, to meet your family, to be around you there. This way I could find out if I could be there with you for a life time. For me to come to you it is realize your world and if I wish to be part of it. And if I would come to you first we could make a desicion right there and right then. So, my point is would you like me to come to visit you for a while for the first time? Think about it please and let me know your thoughts on it. So many people walk around with a chip on their shoulder thinking that the whole world has to bow down at them, they think that they are never wrong and look down at you whenever you say something that is contrary to what they state is right. I have no time in my life for that kind of person, there is no room for them in my heart, it is so silly to walk by in life believing that anger and pride can solve problems, that those words said in that momnet do not really count but because one is proud they find it so difficult to take it all back and say that they are sorry, that they did not mean to hurt you and that they wish to make it all better again. To me love and respect is natural Dan, there is no hiding ones self from his, he must know me as well as I know the palm of my own hand, when I look at him I will feel full of joy, secure in having made the right choice, knowing that he will be there by my side till the end of time, my life like a wave of the sea, rushing into land not knowing what expects her but reassured that he is there waiting. I am often wonder how much time goes by in the days of our lives where we wonder to our selves when will it be, when will I meet them, who are they, you dream with your eyes wide open, sometimes going in a bus, ohers walking down the road, your mind and heart with your immaginary lover, making him or her up as you go along, how very well I understand you if you have ever done the same, I think of you so very often, I go and check my letters at the computer very often hoping that you will have written a few words to me, I look so much forward now days to hear news of you that it brings me to distraction at my life. Who knows what the future holds for us Dan, I have no idea what lies behind the corner of each day, I live every moment as if it was the last one in my life, drinking every drop out of the cup of life, so with these words I come to you in this letter wanting to know you so much more, it is so difficult over this distance, time and space but I have faith in you now, I realise that your heart is indeed a special place to be and would be honored of I got the chance to be able to go there one fine day and feel it's warmth with mine. These words of mine are all that I have, they are the only like that I posess to you, I have no other way of letting you know how much it would mean to me to keep you in my present day, every day, I am intrigued and want more, I am afraid but dare to go forward, I have dreams that I want to believe in but cannot till I see you, there is so much that remains to be said and done, I sit here wondering where all this is going to lead me, I hope it is towards you, it's only a wish, make it come true for me. So here I am again talking to you as if I really knew you, as if all the wonders in the world were there for us to share and I can talk to you without the fear of projudice or malice, my words coming from me like the flow of a river, I have no idea where they come from but it is with great joy that I write them as I know that they will please you, making you heart run faster, warming you inside as if I was there to hold you close, feeling you for the first time, my words here are my feelings and I know that you can feel them too. I hope to hear from you very soon Dan, I so much want understand all that is said and done between us, please write to me soon, tell me more about your past and what you feel about this feeling that is developing, talk to me about your heart, make me hear you inner voice as if it was for the first time like a woman without sight seing the light of day with new eyes. I look forward to hearing from you and You are on my mind, thinking of you and wishing you close.
Lena.