Letter(s) to Dirk (Germany)

Letter 1

Hello, my dear!!! I was very glad to get a letter from you. I wanted to say sorry for my late reply, sometimes it can happen, because I'm writing to you from the internet cafe such as I have no computer and internet at home and I can't visit it too often because I'm busy at work that's why I can't answer you just after receiving your letters, so when I came to the Internet cafe i saw that there were 3 letters from you. I read them all attentively and now I'm writing an answer to you. The words you told me in your letter touched me deeply and I really appreciate your true feelings to me and that you are very serious about me and want to continue our relationships and in the previous letter we discussed our meeting and as I promised you I went to the local OVIR to know what documents are needed to make an international passport for me to be able to come to you and visit you. They told me that first of all I need a police report and it will cost me nearly 70$ (350 hrivnas in Ukrainian currency) and I have to wait until it is ready for nearly a month. When it is ready I need to go to OVIR once more and to bring a letterhead that I don't have previous convictions and some photos are also necessary. Then I need to feel in the papers and to pay the services for the registration of my future international passport. And it will cost me nearly 150$, but this figure is constantly modifying. You know my dear, I became very sad after knowing that it will take nearly 3-4 months to make my international passport. And it's so long, because every minute spent without you is like a torture for me, I want to meet you so much!!! I wondered whether it can be possible to speed up the process of making the passport and they told me that there are some special firms which can make the passport in one month. So, i felt that it was my last chance, my hope and fortune. I went there the same day and I was so excited and full of hope...But when I came there and they told me that to make a passport in a month will cost me 300$ including the cost of the police report, I was simply depressed because of these figures such as I understand that i'll never be able to cover such amount of money. You know that I'm an accountant and here in Lugansk the payment is so low that it's impossible to live for it during the month even. you know, when I came back home, I cried so much, because I realized that I can never save such a big amount of money. And what should I do? is it the bitter truth that we will never meet with you? I simply can't believe it cause you became an important man for me in my life and I can't imagine my life without your wonderful letters and warm words. I think there is no way out of this situation: you can't come to me because of your illness and I can't come to you cause... Oh, it's so sad!!! I'm simply in despair right now. I can't understand what can we do to overcome all these difficulties, my dear, tell me, what we should do?
Now life seems to be black and white and just several days ago it seemed to be a bright and wonderful fairy tale, because i lived with hope to see you, my Sweetheart, very soon! Now all my dreams are ruined and I don't know what to do and who can help me......
So, my dear I received your last letter in which you asked me several questions but I hope that you will be able to understand my state right now and won't mind if I'll answer all those quests in the next letter, because right now I'm in despair and I can't think over your quests. I think that i can answer to you tomorrow if I feel fine.