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Letter(s) to Mark (USA)
How are you?
I am fine. Hope you are all right too.
Thank you for your warm letter. I am really interested to learn about you as much as possible. I will have enough free time and try to write you more frequently next week.
Mark last days I have been a little nervous. Why?
Because I am a little afraid of having new serious relationship, particularly, a relationship with you, because I want a relationship with you to work out. I want it to happen, to mature and excel.
Another reason I am nervous is because a serious relationship is a big step. A big step for both of us. And lastly, I am nervous of the possibility that you will say something like "You are a great friend, and I think we should keep things that way". I think I want more. It is based on what you have written me, what you have told me about you, and what you have told me of your thoughts, life and so on.
I think that I really want to develop our relationship. I know it may be premature for me to think this way. But I do because I feel this way.
I tried to analyse all my thoughts and fears and I found their source. I feel this way because we have met by non-traditional way. We met in the Internet. I have never had such experience before you. The matter is the fact of our communication but not the way. An important point is that we can learn each other and imagine our characters in our minds. I think it's great.
Tomorrow I am coming to Saratov. I will have a talk with our regional programm manager. There are still many questions to solve. They must give me my documents and papers for the travel. Also they will tell me about financing my participation.
Our trade union promised to pay my travel. It includes an air ticket, food, transportation and hotel until I settle in a new place. But I am a little nervous, what if they can't pay. There was a precedent when our trade union gave the promises and never held them. I know a good person in our trade union in Saratov. His name is Anatoly, his wife worked with me for some time and we are good friends now. He deals with all finances and salaries for our workers. When I met him last time he said they had been waiting for federal funds and money hadn't came yet. Sometimes it didn't come for half an year. Health care is poorly supported by the state in Russia and our trade union is not well one. Nevertheless I hope everything will be all right.
I have learnt that another doctor from our region participates in the exchange programm too. And I will meet her tomorrow. Maybe we will work together in the same place. I was also told that about 40 doctors from different places of Russia will come to the USA for the program. I will tell you details about my trip to Saratov next time.
Mark I can't think about anything but my travel to the USA. I am not crazy about making money or carrer. I don't like money for what they are. I am glad about what possibility this travel opens for my future. You are also in my plans... :-) ... at high position.
New country, new work, new people and our meeting, all that makes me excited a lot.
I don't want to stay friends. I want more. ;-) I am crazy, we never met. Not at all. I hope everything will work out between us.
I'd like to talk with you over phone some day. Please let me know the date and the phone number where I can easily reach you. I don't have a telephone at home so I'll call you from paid telephone. I want to hear your voice and try to communicate in English.
Also thank you for your photos. You look nice.
Well, I have to go now. I will write you again soon.