Letter(s) to Gerold (Germany)

Letter 1

I kiss you hello, dear Gerold !

Thank you for your letter very much, for your kind words!.. You are an amazing man, I can only dream about as it seems to be unbelievable to become a part
of your life...
You are saying such wonderful words, they make me be obsessed...
Today I could hardly wait when I come to the agency and receive your letter.
You even can't imagine how pleasant to read all those letters of yours.
You know I am so happy when I get your letters but not only because I wait for them from the moment I write to you but also because from them I learn that you are fine and healthy and that you are still thinking about me. It makes me really happy and excited that a man like you cares for me and it takes part in my everyday life. Of course maybe I am very hurry with it but I just want you to know that I like you sincerely and very much. I feel shy as I think of you sometimes a bit boldly. I can not fight with a desire to think of you.
You do not have to doubt that you got to my heart, Gerold. It is unbelievable but it's true. I didn't expect to find someone I will care for though I wanted to and intended to. It is not that I had lost my faith, it's just that I thought that there were no more men that can be strong and tender at the same time. But I can see that all those things are just about you.
Today I have received the bill from the agency for our correspondence being translated and now I am at a loss a bit because the bill is very high for me ( $50!!!) and from now I won't be able to write to you so often as I do now. But I will be missing you so much. I already do! I don't want to lose you,Gerold . I realize that it is completely my problem. But anyway, maybe we will be able to find a decision of our problem by you paying for your letters and I will pay for mine? Because for me it will be very difficult to pay for both of us. What do you think about it,Gerold ? You see if you won't agree I will understand but soon I will have to give up our corresponding. I don't want to!!! I am frightened at the thought that I will never hear from you one day... Oh, what should I do?.. Why should this bill become a threat to my possible happiness? I am not asking money for myself but for the agency. Later I will learn English but now... I know only the base of language and I need time to learn it!!! And I want you to be in my life now!... I am so eager to meet you!... I told my mother and Nastya about you... I hoped to introduce you to them when you come, I had so many dreams about all that.... And now...
Even now I am beginning to feel that I am losing you....
Well, probably I will have to give up you...I don't want to!... And have no choice. You will remain in my heart-so handsome and interesting.
Please, answer me for the last time!.. Tell me if that is the problem for you to pay for your letters to be translated for me?...

I kiss you goodbye,

yours,Natasha .