Letter(s) to Emil (Sweden)

Letter 1

Hello lovely Emil!!! How is your life there? Hope everything is fine. As for me I can think of nothing else except you. You know that I miss you so much and it is very hard for me to be apart from you as you too I guess. You know that I want to delete this distance we have between us and I hope you want the same. I often imagine our first meeting and it would be so amazing dear. Only our meeting holds the future for us and I am sure that everything will work out between us and we will be happy together. As I wrote I went to the consulate to check what it will take to come to you. It will not be so hard as I thought in the beginning. I have known that I will need to do some paperwork and to get foreign passport and visa to come to you. There are a lot of different visas but the visa I can get in easiest way tourist or visitor visa. I was told that I would be able to get it without any problems. It just will take some time and I need to pick up a lot of documents from my side but I will do everything what depends on me. I have only one problem that upsets me very much. It is not convenient for me to ask you for help but I do not have choice and I have to hope only on your understanding. You know I need to pay for getting visa and doing all paperwork. And you know that I get paid not enough to save for it. You know that my salary here is very small compare to salary in other countries. I want to come to you more than anything you know but I will not be able to do it without your help. I do not want to complain but I will not be able to go through breaking my heart again. I am afraid that I can lose you if we will not meet and will not develop our relationship. Can you put yourself in my place? I do not know whom I can ask for help except you. You know that I am always honest and sincere with you and I hope that you will understand me and will help me to do this serious step. I have filled some papers already when I was to the consulate and they made a file for me. I have already paid 1200 rubles for registration. It was all savings I had. It is approximately 40 euro. But the main cost is still should be paid. As soon as I pay the rest they will continue my visa process. As for the cost of papers they gave me the prices and I will let you know it. The visa costs 100 euro and I also need to pay near 90 euro for documents for getting passport, 60 euro for tests and 40 euro for interview and for other expenses I may have. So I need near 300 euro to cover all expenses. You know that I do not have such sum here. It is my two months salary and I do not know the way I can get it. I can hope only on the help from you. Will you be able to help me dear? I hope you will. As I wrote I have filled some papers already and if we want to make it happen soon I need to pay the money during the week. I really hope that you will understand my situation. I want to see you very much but I will not be able to do it without your help just because I don't have such money. I am sorry again for asking for your help. I will understand if you do not want to help me but it will hurt me that I will not be able to meet you. I trust you dear with all my heart and I am giving all my life in your hands now. I imagine that we can meet really soon and I have tears on my eyes. I will impatiently wait for the day when we are together. I think about you all the time now my love Emil and I wish I could speed up the time to the day when I come to you. So I will better go for now dear but I will dream of you all night and will wait for your next letter! I love you very much my dear and cannot wait to get the reply from you. With love Tatyana