Letter(s) to Norman (Australia)

Letter 1

Hello my dearest Norm,
Thank you very much for your letter.You can't even imagine how I was waiting for it.I am constantly thinking of you.Last night I couldn't sleep,I was thinking of you,our future...To tell you the truth,I was not thinking about it with optimism, cause now when I have found you, I'm scared that I can lose you..I even don't know why.May be,because there are just my doubts and scares..
A drizzling piercing rain continued all day-the weather was just awful.The same was with my mood,till I opened my e-mail box and found your letter....You can't even imagine,what a lovely change has happened to me!My heart began to beat faster,the mood has improved and my joy knew no bounds!Once I heard such a quotation:"In a man's letter his soul lies naked".For me a letter is more than a means of communication,thanks to it I got acquainted with you.It was like a bolt out of blue.Now I have a feeling that at last I've found my destined affinity.
Norm, I don't know what will be your reaction for my following words, but anyway I do hope that everything will be ok between us..
I have already told you that my English is very poor.I use the service of translation company.I use their services as I can't write or speak English.
And I have so many ideas and thoughts to share with you,that I can't write you this in some sentences.It is very hard for me to say this.But it's hard for me now to pay for translation of the correspondence with you.But I don't want to lose you. I can't imagine my life without you.My dear, I don't know what you will think.I feel so much embarrassed to ask you for help, as I'm not used to asking.But for me this is the only way to keep in touch with you. Dear, please don't think that I'm just a girl who wants to make a profit of you.I'm so much serious towards you.I want our relations to grow serious.
I don't want to say good bye to you, but if you decide that the best variant for us is to stop right now, I am not going to judge you, but I still hope that it is just the beginning, but not the end...
yours Yana