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Letter(s) to Runar (Iceland)
How are you?
Hope you're doing well,and always will be!
Oh,my God,i even couldn't imagine that it would be so difficult to tell you this...
Only yesterday night i closed my eyes and imagined how i would hold you tight,how i would kiss you...
Please,read what i will write you now very carefully,don't stop in the beginning!
You need to understand my situation. My feelings to you,and my thought to you,my dreams to you....everything that is about you was, is and will be true forever!I really think you're the best for me,and i'm sure i will never find another one like you.
I always was telling you only the truth,but,honey,there is only one thing that i didn't tell you...this thing is my parent's attitude to our relations!
AS for my mom,you know we're friends with her,and i told you that we're like two sisters,she knows everything about you,about our relations,about our love.As for dad,he also knew that i have such a man.Of course i have to admit that he never was glad for us,but at least he wasn't against. You know,my father is a former serviceman,and how you can imagine he is very severe!When i was born in stead of a boy,he was ypset but then got used. You know,it was always very difficult with him.He made me cry all the time.Because i was forbidden to walk with friends,to talk by phone too ling,to talk to boys!He thought,that for me,like a well brought up girl it's improperly to behave like that. So you see,because of that i was very afraid to tell him about you.I was extremely careful.My mom and i tried to tell and to insure him in that fact that you're special,you're ideal man for me.On the question,how old you are,i told you're young,because you know,how it is important to know about this for parents.
All the time,when i was little and when any boys felt in love with me,when they courted me,it was dad who decided who i need and to whom i need to say good bye. And also ,one of the reasons that we've broken up with my ex-boyfriend is that my dad didn't like him. You see???
You can't even imagine how it's hard to obey him.But i couldn't loose you!I simply couldn't!Because you know how i love you,how i dream of you,you know everything,my love!You know!
So,today,after i've sent you a letter i went to pack my luggage at home!I came home,everything seemed to be very nice,my mom and i packed almost all my clothes,as for father ...he was going hither and thither!he sw how excited i am,how happy i am!And surely how i love you!He sat near me,began asking about you,you know,he seems to be so happy for me that i've found such a man like you!And you know,he was in a very good mood.
He asked about your interests,your family,were you ever married,i told him everything,then he asked me to show your picture,and you know,that i have never been against your age,you know this,hon!!!!!!!
But when he saw your picture,....hon,oh my god,how it is dificult to tell all this....oh,he...he..hit me in the face.And became so furious...Runi,dear,i have never seen him like this before!I was so shoked,so scared...
he began shouting at me,that how can i be with you,if you are fitted for father for me,not for a boyfriend,oh,dear,i didn't want to tell you,but if i didn't tell you you would not believe me!
My father,told that till he is alive i'll never be with you!!!!!I'm riting you now,and ..if only you can see all the tears in my eyes.Me and mother we were begging to let me go to you,but he was shouting at us...we were crying....
Dear,i'm broken-hearted,depressed,i don't want to live!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't want to live without you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear,do you hear me???
I CAN'T COME TO YOU....i can't...
Oh my god,how it is difficult,i thought i would never have to tell words like this...
Dad told that i'll never see you,that if he ever see me near computer writing to you,he will crush it!
Dear,i've done everything possible to calm him down,it's impossile....
Now we're packing our suitcases!All of us,my mom,me...father is driving us to Russia to his brother family!
I even discharged from office just an hour ago,because they were not allowing me to leave the country for ...a long time!
I don't know even for how long!
But,Runi,my love,i'll do my best so as i could take computer with me!So as i could write you,to tell you about my love forever to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear,when i'm thinking that tomorrow you'll be alone in the unknown city....oh dear,i'm crying all the time!!!!
IN all this only i am guilty!
And i will never forgive myself for this!
Oh my god,dad is coming,hon,forgive me for everything!I'll tr to run to you!Don't worry!We Will be together!!!!!!!!!
I'll run,i'll run...
honey,this is the telephone number of my mothers cousine daughter!She knows everything about us,and about this situation!You can trust her!When you come to Ukraine just call her and she will help you in everything!
She knows you!
Runi,i have to run!
I love you!
I love you!
I love you!
Please,don't forget about me!I'll try to write you!I'll try to run to you!