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Letter(s) to Mark (USA)
Thank you for your reply. I am really glad to see your message.
I havn't checked my email box for long ago and I'm sorry I havn't written sooner. Hope you understand.
I am new on the Internet and Internet dating. Please, don't be too strict if something is wrong... I am a little abashed :-) I don't know how real it is and how I should behave... Well, I guess I should tell a little about myself so we could start the conversation.
I am Russian. I was born and I've been living in Russia all my life.
My birthday is on the 25th of January, 1975. Big girl :-)
I am a doctor. I work here in a hospital as a dentist. I have good education, university graduate. I like this work, I like to help people and see their gratitude. :-)
I keep healthy life. Don't smoke and drink rarely. Prefer red wine or a small buttle of good beer. I enjoy sport and outdoors. Bicyclyng is my favourite pastime.
I also have many hobbies and interests. For example history, geography, reading, music and so on. I am trying to be a many-sided person (not sure if this word is correct). I know English and I am working to improve it. :-)
I am afraid I won't be impartial telling about my personality but I'll try.
I am loyal and honest. I have good sense of humor and natural curiosity. I like animals and children. I like to be happy and make people around me happy too.
I wrote that I am from the USA at my profile. Don't think I lie. I will come there in a couple of months. And I'll stay for about a year.
I wrote that at the profile too. But it seems the profile doesn't work properly.
I've never been outside of Russia and I would like to have a friend in the USA... ;-) Don't think that I im interesting in friendship only.
I've forgotten to say I am single. I've never been married and I have no children... And yes, I am looking for my love. :-)
What person I want? Nothing extraordinary. I don't need a prince or a rich. I want a good guy. Really good guy with soul and heart. Who can love and respect his woman. Who can support and understand me. I like decent and honest men. I have just a few things I can't stand in the man: rudeness and vulgarity. Hope I didn't scare you :-)
Well I think it is enough for the first letter. I will continue next time.
Please tell me a little about you. What you like and what you think?
Yours truly, Kity.
p.s. The pictures are attached. This is me ;-)
How are you? Hope everything is all right.
I am so pleased to receive your message. Thank you. I would like to continue our correspondence and get to know you better.
You wonder if our age difference would be a problem. Not at all. I like older men. They are mature and know how to treat woman.
Tell me about your life, your place and people, your friends and yourself, please. Send pictures. I am really interested to see them. I will do the same.
As I told you I am coming to the USA soon. I don't know yet the exact date but I will be there by May for sure. I am in the exchange programm. Our government conducts it with the help of American side every year. I'm sure you heard about such things. In brief I will come there with the group of other doctors and we will work in a hospital or a medical centre for about an year. They will give us an accommodation and pay good salary. They said I will choose the place by myself from the list of the hospitals in Georgia and Alabama participating in the programm. I will keep you informed about it if you would like to.
Mark I study the English language and I would like you to mark my mistakes. I must have fluent English and great vocabulary to get good job in the USA. Hope for your help ;-)
You know it is still a little astonishing to me that I can communicate with you. I am a beginner at Internet, computer and online dating. I am not sceptical just a little doubting how far I should go. ;-) I know you understand me.
I would like to have a friend in the new place when I come. :-) The idea of Internet dating came accidentally. I have been using Internet for reading articles about medicine and corresponding with my friends.
They are doctors too and they live in Moscow. I learned about the programm from them. I applied my resume and I was taken. One day I noticed the online dating service and decided to try. And here is the result. ;-)
Mark I don't have a computer at home. I use a rent computer at a cybercafe so I am unable to check my email every day. I am here two or three times a week. And I will write every time I am here. By the way I live in the small town Tosno, not far from Saint Petersburg city. I work as a doctor (dentist) in a hospital. Not long ago I even couldn't think I would see the USA. And now I plan my travel and talk with you. :-)
Mark I would like to learn about the USA from you. What is it like to live there? I have never been there and I know your country only from movies and TV. I would like to learn more about it and its people. I think you could tell me something. And I will tell you about Russia. :-)
Well, my time is over and I must go. Hope my letter is interesting for you.
Great to hear from you again. Thank you for your letter.
Thank you for your pictures. I like you.
Next week I will have some tests for exchange programm. So I am a little nervous. I don't remember if I told that I apllied my resume already and they took me into the programm. It means my level of education and experience are right for them. But these tests are in English and psychology. And I am not enogh good in psychology. ;-) I am studying psychology and reading the books at any free minutes now.
Well, hope everything will be all right. Cross fingers for me. :-) By the way I learned about crossing fingers from some movie. We say "pray for me" in Russia.
Mark it is really make me feeling closer to you when I read your letter. I would like to know more about you. Please, tell me about your family and friends? What is your daily life? And I will do the same.
To my mind if two persons want to have good relationship they should have common ideas and goals in the life. They also should have some comon traits. Certainly every person is unique and it is great. I can't imagine all people to be the same. ;-)
Well I better tell you something about me.
My hobbies... I have a lot of them. In another words I have many things I like to do.
I like different activity, some sport and outdoors. My favourites are swimming and bicycling. It helps to keep in good shape and gives energy.
I love dancing. My mother was a good dancer in her youth and teached me to dance almost everything she did. I also can play piano and sing.
:-) Really. I like it.
I enjoy cooking. I prefer Italian, Russian and seafood. Soups and salads are my favourite. I can cook great Ukrainian dishes. My grandmother was born in Ukraine. Later they moved to Russia and my parents met here.
I like reading. I used to read fiction. Later in the university I read a lot about medicine. Now I am interested in history and geography. I like to read about animals and countries I have never seen. Natural science is very interesting. I don't deal with the science. I just try to satisfy my curiosity. :-) I love the BBC programms on TV. It's a pity we don't have the BBC TV channel here.
About having fun I like everything. My sense of humour is friendly. I am very tactful and I hate vulgarity. From entertainment I prefer movie, theatre, walking in the park, occasionally restaurant. I like small cozy places more. My friends and I often go to the coffee shop to drink tea and talk.
I don't have a lot of friends. Just a few from my work and some from the university and childhood. I like the people who can fill you with some ideas or thoughts. Usually people talk about their problem but I think it is not right. Everyone has his own problems and it is not interesting to talk about over and over. Of course, I make the difference when my friend needs problem solving. I like to help people and do it without any intentions.
Generally I like people and I like to make new friends. I met you a while ago but consider you to be my friend. I am not afraid to be open to people. I think the world is equitable. And everyone must be good.
;-) (Do I seem to be a theosophy fan? :-) Not at all. I just like the idea.)
I am so sorry to cut my letter. The time is over and I must go.
I promise to write more often.
Kseniya. (my real name)
p.s. I attached two pictures of me
I am really glad to receive your message again. Thank you.
At first I want to apologize for not writing sooner. I have been really busy with my tests and work last days. Everything is all right here with me. Now I have a little free time to reply you. ;-)
Last days I have thought a lot of my future. What will it be? :-) I am not afraid of new things and people. I enjoy having a new experience in my life. But I want a new experience to be positive. And it makes me a little watchful.
I have some plans for my future and I want to share them with you. I think you can understand my uncertainty. I consider myself enough mature person to adapt myself to new environment, culture and people.
But at the same time I would like to have a close friend in the new place just to talk or discuss something or ask for suggestions.
Mark you see I'd like to have the friend in the USA to come there and work in the nearest hospital. I wish to be close to his place or maybe the same city or town to be able to meet and spend time together. It would be great if you could be this person. :-)
I see we don't know each other yet. But I hope we will learn about each other more in the correspondence before our first meeting. ;-)
Well, I'll tell you a little about me and my family. And I hope to hear your story in return.
I was born in Tosno and I have been living here all my life. My father is Ukrainian by origin and my mother is Russian. My father is the person who can't sit at the place for a long time. He is a scientist and he goes a lot all over the country. He studies the languages of the little peoples in Russia. Now he and my mother live in Siberia. My mother is a doctor and I go after her. :-)
My parents are good people but they are a little strange in a sense.
When I went to school and studied at the university they lived here in Tosno. My mother worked at the hospital where I do now. And my father went on business once a month. After I graduated from the university they left for Northen Siberia and I started the life on my own. They live in a small Yakut settlement now.
I don't blame them for anything. They are great parents and they gave me everything they could do. I was given good education and upbringing. I call them sometimes. But they are so far away and never come here. My father dedicated his life to the science. And my mother is his true partner. I know they are happy together, they love each other, they love me. I just feel a little alone without them. :-) I'd like to have the same partner in my life as my mother and father are for each other.
I don't have any brother or sister. Just a few relatives in Ukraine that I have never seen. Last 7 years I have been living alone. I know it is the time to create the family. I have had some strong relationships in my life but for some reasons they always failed. I don't think I am too critical and I don't idealize my husband. I just want a good guy in my life to share my success and problems. I know the people are different and it is great. Everyone is unique and can give something to others.
What do I want in my life?... :-) To be happy, have family and careful husband. I want simple things. I am looking for the full life. I'd like to meet the person who can love, respect and understand his mate.
I want the man who can believe in me and help me. Who can support me in creating new life, family and business... I havn't told you yet about my dream... :-)
I want to start my own business one day. I'd like to practise medicine and I think I could work as a private stomatologist, open my own dental room or maybe a clinic. :-) I think everyone should deal with his own business in the life. It is not like to get some job to earn money.
It is the business for life. It must give you satisfaction and income. It must be useful for people and for you. That's why I am coming to the USA. I see America as a country of the great opportunities.
Mark I just don't want to look like a careerist looking for big money. Not at all. I want to live comfortable life and be completely satisfied with my spiritual life. Unfortunately Russia is not the place where everyone can do it. Possibly I am mistaken in something but I have enough energy to overcome it. I'd like to dedicate my life to my husband and my family not to my work...
Well I must close my letter here. Please, let me know what you think about my thoughts.
Hope you havn't tired too much of reading that. :-)
(This is my full name. I feel comfortable with you now.)
p.s. I send you a picture of me in my favourite caffee in St.Petersburg. And my professional portrait.
It was taken about a year ago. I look almost the same now
Thank you for your answer. I am really glad to know you and have you as my friend. Your words are very inspirational and supporting for me.
I like the persons that make you think better about yourself and instill confidence in yourself. Sometimes I just don't have enough of it.
I have got my tests results. They are perfect :-) As I was told it gives me the priority of choosing the place where I will work at. I can't tell you where I will come to because I don't know it yet. Our program manager said me that we will have the list of the hospitals in the USA. This is the internal program of Ministry of Health and they just select the best doctors for the program and arrange all the documents and book the special flight for us. The first place I will come to is New York city. We will meet with the certain employers and contract for the job there.
Thanks to Polina. It was her idea. She is my good friend. We studied in the university and worked for some years together here. Then she found a new good job and left for Moscow. She is very smart person. We email each other every week. She learned about this program first and told me. We wanted to try it together but she didn't know any English and failed. In spite of the fact she helped me to arrange documents and prepare for the interview and then pass the tests. It took me about half an year and all this time she has supported and helped me.
Actually I couldn't do it without her help. I admire people like Polina. She never envied me. She is so sincere and happy for me. I can state that her energy and her passion for new experience made me a participant of the program. She did everything as she did it for herself. I value her friendship highly. And I'd like you to meet her one day. You will like her for sure.
Mark I told Polina and my close friends about you. :-) Hope you don't mind. My friends ask me how I can go so far from my home, what I feel about it. :-) I don't really know what to answer them. I am not afraid just a little excited. I think this is my way and I am ready to go...
My friends think it is good I met you. They always ask about different details about you... :-)
But I say nothing. I say we are just the friends and nothing more... for now :-)
Mark tell me about your friends. Who they are? How do you spend time together? Who is your the best friend or the person you respect most of all? I'd like to know you better. I know the person can't tell everything about himself. There is a saying in Russia "Tell me who your friends are and I tell you who you are". Don't suspect anything, please. I just want to learn you more deeply. The person is the same as his company and actions. We can say a lot about the people looking at their actions and friends.
I am sorry to stop my writing but it's time to go. I will continue next time. Looking forward to your letter.
p.s. I have another pictures for you. One is me about 10 years ago.
Another is from St.Pitersburg last summer
Thank you for your letter. I like receiving your messages. It really makes my day. :-) It is so great we both enjoy our talking. Your letters mean a lot for me.
I have some news for you. I have been working for last week in my hospital and preparing for my travel. Last days were very busy here. I had to arrange all documents and pass the papers to another doctor.
You even can't imagine what bureaucrats are the doctors. :-) I have written tons of papers for last days. Fortunately I have done almost everything.
Regarding my travel I will come to New York first and we will contract there. They said different hospitals offer various conditions and we will make the choice where to come. It will take me a day or two to arrange papers and then I will go to destination to settle in a new place.
Mark yesterday's evening I had a talking with my two best friends.
The closest friends of mine come to me sometimes to talk or watch TV or a film in the evenings. We talk about my future. :-) Yes, it is the hottest news here.
I told them a little about you and our plans to meet when I come. My friends think you are a worthy man. But asked me to be cautious. I understand their feeling but by my heart I feel you are honest man and you can't deceive me.
We talked about my will to move to the USA permanently. Probably it is too early to think about it but who knows. At first I want to come, settle at the new place and meet you. Mark I found myself thinking about you often. I know we are friends and it is OK. But my thoughts about you come further sometimes. ;-) May I ask you. What do you think about me as your possible soulmate? This is a direct question. And I want us to be honest and trust each other. It is a good basis for our relationship.
As for me I can see you as my possible life partner from your letters and thoughts. I believe you are the man with nice soul. The future will show. We will have enough time to meet and learn each other to make a decision. :-)
I will tell you a little about me and my life here.
My daily routine is not interesting. I get up at 7 am and go to the hospital, where I stay till 5 pm. As usual I take a bus to get there, sometimes I go on foot. It is nice to breathe morning fresh air.
I am back home at 6 pm. Do everything in the flat, cook dinner, read something or watch TV. Two times a week I go to a gym to make some aerobics and exercises to keep in shape. Sometimes I go to the library and cybercafe to read articles and news and write you a letter. :-) In other days I meet friends, go to the cinema or walk in the park.
Mark may I ask you a question. They said I will earn about $40 000 a year in the USA. Is it enough to live in good conditions and save money? I don't know well your standards. Please tell me a little about it. I know we have another incomes and prices here in Russia. I'd like to have some ideas about how much different things like food, clothes, cars, flats or houses cost. I earn little money here. But I am enough satisfied with it. I live in my parents' flat and it saves much money for me. I have a TV set and DVD player at home. I have a bicycle and good skis. I can drive a car and I'd like to have a car of my own but I can't afford it. To say the truth I don't need a lot of money to be happy :-). I just need comfortable conditions and nothing more.
I thought about my life and recent events. You know from my last relationship with man I understood that the connection between man and woman is very delicate. It needs efforts from both sides to be supported and developed. You can't just date, make love and say words.
It is more deeper. My ex-boyfriend was a journalist. Some my pictures were taken by him. He was more than just a journalist, he was a creator. Our parting was not a tragedy. In the certain time we both understand we are not together and decided to break it. I don't miss him. It was the best we could do. Mark I don't know why I tell it to you. Now I want to create full relationship and I know how to do it. I will try to give all my soul to my man and I need his one for me. Well don't get it too close. It is just my thoughts and I'd like to share it with you.
Mark I want you to have my postal address:
45-22 New Street
Tosno Russia 187000
I want you know it just in case I can't write you an email. Please, don't send anything to me. I would feel very uncomfortable to accept it if I would get them. Our postal system is very unreliable and I don't want you waste your money. Mark also give me your postal address, in case if I don't email you, I may send you some card to let you know I am ok.
Well, I must cut my letter here. Write me more. Everything you think and you do. I like to read your letters.
How are you?
I am fine. Hope you are all right too.
Thank you for your warm letter. I am really interested to learn about you as much as possible. I will have enough free time and try to write you more frequently next week.
Mark last days I have been a little nervous. Why?
Because I am a little afraid of having new serious relationship, particularly, a relationship with you, because I want a relationship with you to work out. I want it to happen, to mature and excel.
Another reason I am nervous is because a serious relationship is a big step. A big step for both of us. And lastly, I am nervous of the possibility that you will say something like "You are a great friend, and I think we should keep things that way". I think I want more. It is based on what you have written me, what you have told me about you, and what you have told me of your thoughts, life and so on.
I think that I really want to develop our relationship. I know it may be premature for me to think this way. But I do because I feel this way.
I tried to analyse all my thoughts and fears and I found their source.
I feel this way because we have met by non-traditional way. We met in the Internet. I have never had such experience before you. The matter is the fact of our communication but not the way. An important point is that we can learn each other and imagine our characters in our minds. I think it's great.
Tomorrow I am coming to Saint-Petersburg. I will have a talk with our regional programm manager. There are still many questions to solve. They must give me my documents and papers for the travel. Also they will tell me about financing my participation.
Our trade union promised to pay my travel. It includes an air ticket, food, transportation and hotel until I settle in a new place. But I am a little nervous, what if they can't pay. There was a precedent when our trade union gave the promises and never held them. I know a good person in our trade union in Saint-Petersburg. His name is Genady, his wife worked with me for some time and we are good friends now. He deals with all finances and salaries for our workers. When I met him last time he said they had been waiting for federal funds and money hadn't came yet. Sometimes it didn't come for half an year. Health care is poorly supported by the state in Russia and our trade union is not well one.
Nevertheless I hope everything will be all right.
I have learnt that another doctor from our region participates in the exchange programm too. And I will meet her tomorrow. Maybe we will work together in the same place. I was also told that about 40 doctors from different places of Russia will come to the USA for the program.
I will tell you details about my trip to Saint-Petersburg next time.
Mark I can't think about anything but my travel to the USA. I am not crazy about making money or carrer. I don't like money for what they are. I am glad about what possibility this travel opens for my future. You are also in my plans... :-) ... at high position.
New country, new work, new people and our meeting, all that makes me excited a lot. I don't want to stay friends. I want more. ;-) I am crazy, we never met. Not at all. I hope everything will work out between us.
Thank you for your phone number and address.
I will call you from New York city when I come. Tell me what way I can easily reach you. I don't have a telephone at home so I won't be able to call you until I come.
Well, I have to go now. I will write you again soon.
p.s. I am sending another picture of me. This is me in Saint-Petersburg last summer
I am realy happy we are in touch. Thank you for your letters. They make my days. I think of you constantly. You are very close to me. I don't know how it could happen so fast. It is amazing. I feel you very close.
You see we both are sincere with each other. I think it is the way people must comunicate with each other. I think we must not hide our feelings and thoughts. I do it. I am ready to give myself to the destiny. I believe in fortune. I think I am lucky to find you.
I know I may seem too excited talking about "us". I just want you to know about my feelings. I like you and I want to develop our relationship. I believe we are compartible and we could be a great couple. Mark I want to know your honest thoughts about us. Would you really like to meet me in person? I want it.
I thought a lot about the situation. We met in virtual space. We found out that we have common thoughts and ideas for living. We both need someone in our lifes. We like each other. And we will meet soon.
What if we won't like each other when we meet? I know it is silly to sit here and think about all these "what and if".
I think we must meet and see if the things will work out between us, see if we will fall in love with each other. Without meeting in person we can't create full understanding of person. I want to meet you and to develop our relationship. I know we met in Internet but we met each other. It means a lot. Well I will be strong and wait until we meet.
I better tell you about my trip to St.Petersburg.
The first place I visited were our regional program manager. He said my document was almost done. I will get them in few days. I signed several documents and asked him about the place I would come. He said he didn't have the list of the hospitals participating in the program.
It is the prerogative of American side. He also said I would have a preference for selecting a hospital because of my high scores in testing. The greatest news was that I would be able to come to your state for sure. He said many hospitals participate in the program because it is a government project and they get some benefits from it.
As far as the conditions of working they are the same in all hospitals. My salary will be fixed and guaranteed by American government. Also they will provide the accommodation with every convenience and medical insurance. The manager said that I got a chance giving once in a life. :-) He was sincerely glad and proud for me. He also explained me why the USA gave such chances to foreign citizens. It is the way to select the best professionals in the world.
The manager said I would have big chances to stay in the USA if I worked well.
There was another doctor I told you about. Her name is Daria. He introduced us to each other. She is a little older than me and we found common language really fast. Right away we decided to hold together. She is very pleasant and intelligent woman. She is also single and eager to realize her ambitions in the USA. Be ready to meet two girls ;-)
The second I went to our trade union. Genady said there were not funds yet. Actually my travel must be paid by my hospital or trade unon. My hospital refused to do it for lack of funds and trade union is my only source. Anatoly promised to do everything he could. He was going to call to Moscow regarding my travel. As he said he never did it before. Financing is a very difficult question here. It is always hard or impossible to obtain financing for your project or new equipment in state institutions even if you do it for altruistic convictions.
I will go to St.Petersburg tomorrow again. Hope Genady will give me good news.
Mark hope you understand I would need your support at first time when I come. I will come to absolutely different environment with another language, people and culture. You see I am preparing for this travel but I will need you in any case. You are the man I know and I can trust. You will show me the place around, tell me about your traditions and habits. I will need you. Mark to be honest the closer time the more I worry. I am not afraid of new emotions and experience. But I can't do anything to stop it. Do you think it's OK?
I have a small plan for us. I think you must not meet me at airport because there will be a bus for our group and we won't have any time to talk. I will better call you when we get to hotel.
We will figure out details about our meeting over phone. Also I'd like to have a chance to rest. I must look great when we meet ;-)
Mark I am so excited thinking about our meeting and travel. I surely want to embrace you and I will do everything that depends from me to make us met. Please, write sooner what you think.
I need you to uphold my spirit.
I havn't written you for a while. I am sorry. I know I had to think about you and just write you a short note earlier. I had a problem I must solve before I write you anything. I know you worry for me.
As you see from the subject of my letter things doesn't smile at me. I am sad and confused. I don't want to tell it to you. I know you want to meet me. But I will be unable to come to the US by my own. I need a sponsor to pay my travel.
Mark I want to describe the situation in detail.
In my last letter I told you I would have a talking with Genady about funding my travel by trade union. I met him and he said that our trade union will not pay my travel. I asked why and how it may be? They carry out this exchange program without funding it? He said it is not right. Our government arranges traveling papers, visas, contract with American government. They also pay salary and provide place for living for american doctors coming to work in Russia. Travel expenses must be covered from local hospital budget or our trade union. My hospital refused to pay travelling and trade union can't pay for it too because Moscow didn't send money. Genady said it is because of the non- coordination of our government.
I asked him what can I do? He said I can pay my travel by my own or find a sponsor. I must pay only my travel to the USA. When I get there I will be paid by american government.
Well, I asked him how much I must pay. When he said the sum I was really confused. It is $950 USD. I knew I didn't have such sum and I even can't borrow it from someone here. Genady was very sorry for me. He said such things happen often. The government conduct some program and doesn't fund it.
Genady also said the department said the date of the flight. The flight is on May 15. So I have some time to find money.
After the talking I went to bank trying to get a loan. But when they leant I was coming to the USA they refused to me. I talked to my friends trying to find money but I knew they didn't have such sum.
This is my salary for 6 months. I tryed to ask for sponsorship in some commercial companies but they don't want to deal with me without any profit.
Genady said I need to find a private sponsor and I thought about you.
Mark I didn't want to ask you for any help. I wanted to do everything by my own. But I don't have any other options. You know my plane is on May 15, 2006.
I must be in Moscow with money by this time. I will fly to the USA if I have money and I won't fly in other cases. I have not enough time to find money here and I want to ask you to be my sponsor.
Mark I understand everything you may think about me. I hate asking people for money and I always try to do everything by my own. But now I really need your financial assistance. I estimated everything. I will reimburse you this sum in one month. I also can pay you extra money back. I will work in your state for sure. I don't know where yet but I'll try to be as close as possible. I will learn the hospital in New York city and I'll call you from there. I will earn at least $3300 a month and I will have a place to live. You see I will be able to return you the money.
Mark you are the only man I know in the USA. I don't want to mix our relationship and money. But I don't have anyone else to ask for this help. I know if things even will not work out between us we will remain good friends.
I don't want to lie you and say that I love you. I can't say it to a man I have never met. But you must know that I have the warmest feelings for you and I want to develop them. You know what this travel means for me. It is my only chance to come to America and start new life. It also maybe new life start for you... or for us. I am honest woman and I honestly tell you that I will never hurt you or cheat you.
I will be there for ten months. This is more than enough to make a decision about us.
Mark I have already told you about my plans for future. I want to come to the USA, earn some money to start my own business and find good man to love each other and enjoy our life together. I think I have already found this man... Smile. YOU. When I heard from Genady that my future ruined I was so stressed and confused. I don't want to give it up. I still have my hope. You are the only man who can help me.
Mark, be my sponsor! Help me to overcome it, please.
I will wait for your answer with all my hope.
I received your letter and I am very sad. I even didn't think you may have any doubts in me. I still feel uncomfortable for asking money.
Probably I hadn't do it. I don't know. I understand you are careful.
What can I do to prove you my intentions. I asked Genady to give me some contact in New York for you. But he doesn't know it. And I don't know where I can learn it.
I was trying to be completely honest with you so you could see my real soul. I am sorry I couldn't do it. I don't know what to say else.
I can't miss the chance to come to the USA. I know it is one-time chance for my life. All my plans and hopes are frustrating. But I want they come true. I want to start new life with you. I want to start my business. We will have beautiful life together. I can't believe that my life and my future depends from the money. It is so miserable.
Mark I know one thing. If you want to get something you should do it by yourself because no one wants to help you. I've done big work to be in this exchange program. I cast aside all my uncertainty and doubts about my fears. I am coming to work to your state to be able to meet you. I thought you trust me.
I ask myself why people are so distrustful. Is the reason money? I hear words about love and trust about future life but when matter is money I become a scam. I hate it. You hurt me Mark.
Money rules the world? Do you think so? When the matter is money other things disappear. Why? You can check me, my words, my background. I don't care. I am honest with you. But it hurts because YOU DO IT.
I don't care about your money. I don't know if you will help me or not.
I will do everything by myself. I will find money and I will come to the USA. I won't come to your state and I won't call you from New York and I will never come to this cybercafe to write you again.
I will find another good man that will NEVER SAY ME I AM A SCAM!
Maybe you are doing a mistake selling your future for a thousand dollars?
I don't want you to make this mistake. I want you to help me and see that I am the woman you have been searching for...
I can't write...
I am crying...