Letter(s) to Lyndon (USA)

Letter 1

Hi, Lyndon. Called in embassy, could not phone, have told that temporarily it is not accessible. Called also in agency "Columbus" which is engaged with the people leaving abroad. There there is manager Alexander who is engaged in visas in the USA. Today it is not present on a place. Have told, that I have called on Monday. On Monday to me will tell, how many it is necessary for me of money for ambassadorial gathering, but already there is an information that in embassy a rise in price. Instead of 131$ now it is necessary to pay 350$. The rise in price will be since June, 4th. Already on all sites this information.

I will do all documents only through this agency "Columbus". I pay in it 250$, and they in all will help me. Will find forms of questionnaires, will translate all my documents into English, will give to embassy before interview, will help to pay ambassadorial gathering, they know the payment address. Spend me on interview, will explain a dialogue and input order in embassy. I without agency even will not go to Moscow. I and have not found in the Internet where to take these forms of questionnaires. I have found all only in electronic form, and the electronic address of embassy too have not found. There is only a city address and phone. I without agency even to a step will not step. Also I warn you that if I will not have a necessary sum of money for Moscow, I will not go to Moscow. I will not go anywhere not to be dishonoured.

I the former sportsman. And never I do nothing without the exact plan made in advance. I never do superfluous movements. At first I think over all thoroughly, each step not to get involved in an unpleasant incident, or not to get to a trouble. And only then I start to operate. I will not operate, while I on hands will not have all documents. Here the embassy address in Moscow http://russian.moscow.usembassy.gov/nivapplying.html, translate all into English and read that demands your embassy from me here. Your embassy demands, not mine. You deeply are mistaken, if think that if you in America have given all documents, all money have paid, here from me will demand nothing. It is your serious error.

I am am killed by your mistrust to me!!!! I have not given any occasion so to think about myself. As you think of me. Me can name the madwoman, can, mad, can name an uncontrollable animal, but anybody and never, any man could not name me silly. It too will not be possible to you. I always know, that I want. I do not live on the Moon, I firmly stand on the earth, and I see all reason, instead of feelings. Everything, as to me, my safety, all is estimated only by my reason. I do not go woolgathering, in me was not present and never was the silly, rural woman. I ask it to consider on the future. Your mistrust to me generates in me also mistrust to you. In America I will not sign any document without a Russian translation, in the presence of the notary. You have offended me. Even if you also did not want it, but so it has turned out. I understand more than you think. More than you can present to yourself. I already warned you, I cannot lie, I should be trusted. I feel at once it, and at once I build defence. Such I was made by a life.

In the nineties, when I had a business, I paid to gangsters for a trading place 22 000$, monthly. And now present, how many I earned. I needed to buy the goods, to pay expensive apartment, to pay the car. I smoked the most expensive cigarettes in Moscow, drank the most expensive whisky, bought tickets for the dog fights, for human fights with a deadly outcome. With the big money I have learnt all parties of this life. I did everything that you did before failure. If you were not the invalid, you would live till now how before failure. I did not wish it to write to you, I did not want, that you knew it. But you accept me for the silly woman, and you three hundred times are mistaken, when so think of me. You are afraid to show to me the bank account.

I have chosen a poor, poor life because itself so has wanted after Moscow. I so want! Not because I something cannot, I began to hate simply fiercely people. With the big money I have understood that people animals, and I do not wish to communicate with them more. To me not to change the world, but I hate people. That they do with similar. I have chosen to myself a quiet, provincial life as less as possible to communicate with people, to calm nerves. Instead of because I something cannot or I do not want. Reconsider the point of view on me, differently it will be your error concerning me. Only your caress and kindness can tame such animal, as I. Only sincerity and the truth will help you to gain my trust. If you do not make it, you will lose me. I never relax, I simply for a while calm down. And man's compliments never on me operate. I trust nobody in this life. Also I will not trust. Probably, having lived with you many years, I will learn to trust you. But only under one condition if you is fair with me. Other conditions are not present, and will not be. I will remain such what I am, and to alter me senselessly.

I not is worse you understand both business, and in money, and in people. Other life is not necessary to me, rest is necessary to me only. That nobody pulled me, did not irritate and did not touch. With your help I will suit the life with you how it is necessary for me, instead of how it would be desirable another. I have lived a difficult life, and I will allow to destroy to nobody my rest. I have chosen you because you will give me that rest which I search. And not in your interests to awake in me of an uncontrollable animal. You the sick person, both you, and me it is necessary to live in peace and rest. It is better to you not to know, what I happen in fury. Rest is necessary to you. And it is simply necessary for me. All think over, everything, to the smallest detail that it has not turned out then that I in something have deceived you. I am going to deceive nobody, I have more important issues, than to be engaged in such nonsense, than to deceive the sick person. I warned you for a long time about the character. I simply could not expect in any way that you can offend me by mistrust. I hope that it last time will be from your party. I never felt love to America, to your embassy. To me never could dream in the bad dream that I should communicate both with embassy and with Americans. And nevertheless, for the sake of you I go on these of a victim, against the will, against the soul. I in the plane should test the big inconveniences. And nevertheless I go on these of a victim for the sake of you. You too went in other staff, have caught a cold and were ill, all for the sake of me.

I though time have deceived you? Though time has brought you? I though time have broken the word in affairs? I not so have made something? I in something was mistaken? My word in business costs much. If I do something, I do up to the end. It is necessary to arrive to America – I will arrive. My word.

More never dare to deceive or offend me by mistrust. I never will make the promise or the word if I can not execute it. Has put it, and feelings it absolutely another. And to me never confuse these concepts. Never confuse me to others, for example, with prostitutes in red short dresses.

Well think before to write to me. At first translate an ambassadorial site, learn all about the documents necessary in embassy. Also count up the sum of money necessary in Moscow, hotel, medical board, journey on a city and area, do not forget agency "Columbus" and ambassadorial gathering 350$. And only then write me the normal letter, not as to the child, and as to the adult person. And necessarily there were on the Internet all financial documents and telephone accounts.

Very malicious Toni.