View Full Version : Manipulated into scam or affair?

09-23-2016, 12:06 AM
PostPosted: Wed Sep 21, 2016 9:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top
Hi, My wife was romance scammed for 5 months by a very romantic love bombing sociopath She seems very remorseful and we are trying to put our lives back together. At the time (January) , nothing seemed to be wrong with our marriage. We didn't live separate lives, we were together most of the day every day. We had a normal married relationship, we weren't fighting, we had sex almost daily, We were happy. She would talk to this scammer on her phone when she would cook dinner or ride her exercise bike. He would get her all hyped up romantically and she would take it out on me. She was feeling lonely and stressed because she doesn't have any friends where we currently live and our nearest family is a good distance away. He romanced her for over a month before asking for money. He asked her to marry him in two months and she said yes. Doesn't know why she said yes, she said she knew she didn't want to leave me and when he asked her to divorce me twice she refused. He would ask for money, she would refuse, He would hit her with something like "If I only had 60 seconds to live I would spend them telling you how much I love you." Then she would send the money.

She said when he first approached her on Facebook she was only looking for a friend to talk to, not a lover. I am at a loss to explain this. The people on the Affair Recovery forum say that she was having an affair, she is not a victim. I should approach this like dealing with a wayward spouse. They say she is unstable and not to be trusted. If she does not get professional counseling they say I should divorce her. Personally, I don't want to think this was a normal affair, she wasn't on a dating site, was not looking for it, was psychologically manipulated, They say that she went on with this for five months and could have backed out at any time. She maintains the affair would never had happened if she was not dealing with a professional scammer who pressured and love bombed her into a state of limerance. I am at a loss..

09-26-2016, 04:51 PM
While what you are saying is true... that could be also your subconscious trying to rationalize the situation. Just because someone came and swept her off her feet isn't an excuse in my book.

10-29-2016, 02:48 AM
Not sure what to say...

I think this would count as an affair as she had the intentions to eventually cheat on you.

11-01-2016, 04:25 PM
Honestly, it doesn`t really matter what happened, but would the couple choose to do next. Personally, I would say to forget this story and move on
Probably, it`s common to 50% couples in the world, but none of the women and men involved would recognize it

11-03-2016, 07:39 AM
Is she being scammed? If she is sending money to someone on the internet who she has never actually met, then yes she is being scammed and manipulated.

is she having an affair? That's a lot harder to answer and only the two of you can really work that one out. Obviously something led her astray in the first place, and she committed enough to the scammer to send money.

01-26-2017, 08:31 PM
Thank you for sharing your thoughts/experiences. My husband has been scammed more than once, I know that is stupid, but I think I was wide more stupid giving him "other chance". My biggest anger is with authorities they don't really do anything to caught this predators. Is not only about money, is about families destroyed, dignity and confidence. Best regards for all you ppl.