View Full Version : Advice needed

07-10-2004, 02:26 AM
Ive been in contact with a young Russina lady now for just over 2 weeks and in that time i have had photos of her on her own and once with a friend.Ive asked for photos of her with her family and have also asked for her home address.She gave me her home address,but im unsure as to how i can go about checking if its real or not.I dont have any money to use someone to help me.Is there anyway that i can do this myself,using say the net??

I really hope that this doesnt turn out to be a scam,but all the same im being careful.
I hope that you guys can help me solve this dilemma im having.

07-13-2004, 01:17 AM
Hi Revvy
maybe I'm not the most knowledgeable in technicalities - but if you have money you can check out any address in CIS, you'll find reference to it in "Travelling to Woman's Country" Folder (or was it another - search in the folders) but there is guy in Russia who will do a full check - about $120. If you get as far a meeting then that's the time to do that.

I'm very good at analysing letters, so if you want help, send me some on my e-mail address here (or tell me if you don't see it). I've seen many kinds of scam and I can usually spot a scammer - the problems is that, some women ask for money - and they really need it - so we might call them Scammers but in reality they are not asking for money to make money. (best is send only small amounts $20 at a time). Most people on Stop Scammers say never send money - In 7 months I sent money twice - I have lost once and found a real woman once. She even offered to send money back !!

I can see a scammer in a photo - but I can't always see a real one from a scammer. Best is forget sexy photos - [}:)], complete waste of time, real women won't make "models" photos. If their name is not a real name (peach [}:)], apple [}:)], blossom [}:)] etc) forget it. A good woman won't say honey, or darling early on. Make sure she always addresses you by your name and states her name at the bottom.
Let me know if I can help


07-13-2004, 01:40 AM
Well i have finally managed to have her address verified after having been given a street map of the town she lives in,it has also transpired that she wants to come over to England for a holiday,becuase she says it would be cheaper for her to come here.
In her letters/e-mails she alwasy starts with my name and ends with hers,so thats another plus point.
Still i guess only time will tell now,and as yet im still keeping an open mind on things.

Thanks for the advice ray


07-15-2004, 06:28 AM
Well it seems that my first impressions were correct.
She arranged with her "travel agent" to send me details of the itineray and the cost of said holiday and then travel agent had the nerve to ask me to make payment within a week.
Lukcy i was keeping an open mind me thinks

07-15-2004, 06:35 PM
Hi revvy

That travel agent may only be saying about "send the money urgently" because they can't hold the tickets for the price stated. Or they are not a real agency (try to check them out) and get the passport details (at least photo and passport number) or your gal. There's a reference to it on the Forum, it tells you what pages (4 pages) she must copy and scan and send by e-mail.

Regarding her address. Yes it's on the map - but is it hers ? but don't get over suspicious and throw bad lines to her - keep it cool - if she's real you don't want to upset her. However, scammers always either go off in a huff or just don't write back.

I am nearly at that same stage as you. My gal's given me e-mail addresses of 2 Agents in her city, but they don't e-mail me back. In her frustration to get here she already stated an amount of money "I need Euro 390" but I'm sure it was not a request for money. She seems very genuine, and told me "not to send her the money". Obviously she knows about being labelled scammer - or is offended if I send the money. She's also offered to pay her internal flights.
But I'm gonna be carefull

I've searched the net and can't find a site for a Travel Agent in her city, Krasnoyarsk, maybe they have only e-mail. What I'm trying to establish is a safe Agent who has some "internation recognition" such as "IATA". This way, I guess we are protected if pay by c.card or WU.
I havn't had an e-mail from her today - I hope she's not leaving me - she's really nice. If I cant' find a way to get her the holiday package, I'm going go to Krasnoyarsk ASAP - I'm fed up and don't want to lose another good looking woman.

By the way, I'm from the UK but work in central Italy - fab !!
You can't find women here - 3 guys to 2 gals. And then they have affairs.


07-16-2004, 01:42 AM
Aside from the fact that im currently out of work and cant afford to send the money,and add to that,i was made bankrupt last year,so have no cc's,bank account or anything,so im stuck in a rather big hole really.As much as i wanted this to be real and truthful,im still not convinced 100%.we shall see what we shall see i guess.
Anyway i wish you the best of luck in your endeavours my friend,i hope it all turns out the way you want.

By the way im also from UK,and women here only want one..wait two things..money and ill leave the other to ya imagination.

07-16-2004, 08:05 AM
Hey guys,
Just wanna tell you something, DO NOT send money, she will not come.
Why don't you do as i do, buy ticket for them, meet them in foreign country as i do. I have met 4 girls in Turkey, all from Russia or former Russian republics. They do not need visa to Turkey. Although i live in New York City, its worth going there and meeting this women, they are lot of fun. But, "DO NOT SEND $$$$$" its a scam. TRUST ME i bet my head.

07-19-2004, 08:17 AM
well now,it seems the she is what i had thought originally,she said she could get half of the money for trip to uk,but could i pay the rest,i said i couldnt,becuase i dont work and she knew this.
My reasons for believing shes a scammer?
she claims she can only get to internet-cafe of an evening,which is fair enuff i suppose,but she then says she has to go visit Grandmother and cant get to internet cafe to reply to my e-mails,whilst i was online at 1am GMT the other day,she was online also,sending e-mails to someone else.
Forewarned is forearmed as they say

07-19-2004, 07:38 PM
Hi Guys
Incredible, revvy and I are having "twin" problems. My gal offered to pay half the fare. But I could not get response from her travel agent to send the money (I would only send to a secure Travel Agent) I asked her pay all the money, get the holiday and I'd pay her on arrival - its all gone quiet. But wait - she could be real. Normally she logs on to Merry Dating every day (you can see the date of last long-on - nice feature). But she's not logged on. I phoned her mother "she said in Russian HOSPITAL" I got my Russian pal to phone - he recons it's true. My gal's got mobile phone, I called, no answer, but then it was busy. I sennt a text message - she is not answering me.

State of play therefore. Either she was greatly offended by my asking her pay all the fare or she's on a scam. My Russian friend is gonna be making some calls for me... let you know.

revvy, don't lose heart. Mine got broken twice, but if I keep at it I'll get there. Maybe I'm going to Riga Latvia this weekend. I keep a look out for you. Send me a photo of you on my e-mail address on the Forum if you like. I may even do you a favour and buy a good guy a ticket !!


07-19-2004, 08:10 PM
Ray to send you a photo of me id have to use outlook and i cant see your e-mail addy anywhere here.
Although i cant see why you'd want a photo of me as id likely break any mirrors that i come across :)

07-21-2004, 08:53 PM
Hi Revvy, no, I said photo of your woman. If you want to send it, maybe Admin can forward it.

By the way. I'm off to Latvia !! Got some women lined up via Tour Organisation. I going separately from Tour, so I get to see all some gals without competition. Got fab platinum blonde lined up. I'm really feeling good at last - 8 months on Internet and got no where.
Let u all know how I get on. Cheers !!

I'm pretty sure my Russian contact is doing the Holdiday Scam.. her letters are too focussed and she doesn't ask me anything anymore.


07-22-2004, 11:20 PM
Now look here you guys. You sound very hesitating.
I have red Stop-Scammers for a long time, and I am active searching a woman for three years. I think I have some experiences and some good advices.
I have had some of them over here on visit for a week or two. I have also visited them in their home. I have never been scammed, but met women I don't like finally.
Some advice; don?t ever send them money! It is not necessary. When they agree to meet you, invite them but tell them you are gone buy the ticket and they can pick it up at the Airport in the town they live. Every Airline can deliver the ticket at the start-airport.
If she is first to tell you about her friend or aunt, working on a travel agency, and can give her a ticket for very low cost, just tell her that your price is cheaper and your Airline is better and safer. That is almost always the truth.
A woman never asking for money, but telling you she will pay her own ticket, but in the end just miss a few hundred dollars is usually smart scammers, giving you the opinion that you are contributing with the very small part. (And she is beautiful and sexy so what the heck.......you are sending the money). And maybe you are the 15-th guy sending her a couple of hundred.

Real Russian or Ukrainian women are very proud. They would never ask for money, not even for Internet-Cafe fee nor for translating service. They will show you in another way, they are not able to travel to you. But when you offer to send her a ticket she will accept, if she is really interested in you.

But don't forget to lock the ticket and tell her that it is not possible to sell the ticket back and it is not changeable neither in time or date. (Then a scammer will realize the ticket is worthless for her if she doesn?t intend to use it for travelling, and she will back out.)
So tell her it is very important she can travel that certain day.

I have never visited a woman without she invited me to her own home. (And if she is really serious and see a future husband in you, she can arrange that even if she has children or live with her parents. Every Russian has a datja.) And that is possible if she have been at your home a couple of weeks first.
In one of the first letter I always make clear to her that I am not the kind of guy taking first flight to meet her. And I will never go to her and stay at a hotel having dates with her. If she still writes letters, she is probably serious.
All the best to you guys??

07-23-2004, 06:59 AM
Hello Revvy
To know whether this girl live in this city, it's possible to trace the IP address from which she sent you the emails. I have a program that make this and this was useful to me to confirm a scam. If it's a small city maybe you don't get the same city, but the nearest major city. Send me (through my profile) the IP address from her last email and I'll tell you the city that turn out.

To find out the IP address you have to pick the head or the details of the email and it'll appear several lines like: Received from ("IP number"). Tell me the complete number that appear at the last line "Received from" and I'll tell you the city.

08-20-2004, 07:13 AM
To Revvy

Why not send her some flowers to check out her address, you can do this from English companies like interfloura. and send it to her house. If she is real she will get them and thank you for them, If she is fake she woun't know about them. It will cost you a few quid but it will be worth it to put your mind at rest. If you need any more idea's contact me. Good Luck


08-21-2004, 12:02 AM
Hi Guys
I just used the method of sending air tickets. It worked good, I had a fab time with her comming to Italy. She played it carefully and didn't jump in the bed with me, I didn't try. We are going to meet again. I found her by going to an Agency instead of using Internet. Go on an organised tour, you've a good chance that you won't get scammed after they live with you.


08-21-2004, 05:50 AM
Ray, who did you use to send tickets?

08-25-2004, 05:40 PM
I agree with Ben-Hur that mostly all Russian and Ukrainian girls are proud. They will never ask you for money though in many situations they will accept the money that the man offers if is really needed. For example, if a girl does not have enough money on English classes (it is very possible in Russia/Ukraine) but she is really interested in the man for whom knowledge of English is very important, it is most likely that she will accept the money.
But she will hardly ask for money herself?That is the difference between honest and dishonest women.

08-25-2004, 07:11 PM
You are absolutely right. I can even say that they can accept money or accept you send them a ticket, but they will never ask for it. They are just tellin you that at the moment they are not able to travel to you. Then you have to understand that a flight ticket to a foreign country is something very expensive for a person earning about $ 100 a month. Think about it; if you have to spend 4 months salary, brutto!! to buy a ticket to Russia!!!!

quote:Originally posted by WfR

I agree with Ben-Hur that mostly all Russian and Ukrainian girls are proud. They will never ask you for money though in many situations they will accept the money that the man offers if is really needed. For example, if a girl does not have enough money on English classes (it is very possible in Russia/Ukraine) but she is really interested in the man for whom knowledge of English is very important, it is most likely that she will accept the money.
But she will hardly ask for money herself?That is the difference between honest and dishonest women.

09-01-2004, 08:05 PM
yes, gentlemen, you'r right - most of well-bred girls in Ukraine (and maybe in Russia) would never discuss the money subject with someone from abroad. they just quit writing to you as they cannot afford downloading huge files and they cannot prove you that you better be the visitors, not them (see the rules for getting visitor visa for Ukrainian single/divorce, nice-looking women to travel to see you :)
and then you think - why she disappeared?? :( hmm... she sounded serious, aha! - another scammer! Beware, dear country-men!
Want some advise? ask concrete questions, do not listen to your lower head :)
Sorry for being rude.

Treasure state - my sweet home!

Lone Gunman
09-02-2004, 02:06 AM
KBITKA, hello!

You are a fresh breeze in this forums. You add valuable knowledge!

See Ya

09-02-2004, 04:10 AM
actually i do not think you can tell a scammer from a picture except if they do not have a real name, this is right. But i had a friend who has model pictures, just because she keeps fit and have a stylish taste... pictures cannot tell you about a person as much as her letters show her...
As for your name in every letter, it is not that difficult to copy your name from your letter though if she really has a list of men to write to, she will not waste her time on writing your name, that is true.
You know what, my husband told me he loves me after 20 minutes of chat! Was he a scammer?? LOL By the way, ask her to chat with her for a while but if she refuses withough any certain reason and you ask her why and still have answer, this can be scam. Always ask her what type of a nercafe she uses, how they charge her, and ask this to her in several letters, varying the question, if they figures will change, this mean she is not trustworthy.
My husband offered me to pay for my internet because he needed me to chat with him (+phone conversation and usual mail) every single day, i told him i will chat with you, do not worry, i just cannot do it every single day, he asked for my postal address, i gave him this and he sent me some money - like 30 $ first. I honestly spent them for our chat and scanning my pictures. By the way, i never thought of taking naked or bikini pictures, this is not my mentality.
Men, avoid sweet erotic letters, please, avoid letters with your phrases copied - of course, we all like to be cited :) but it is just a hard work of a scammer :)
Good luck to you
if you need some sort of advice or just information about life-style in Ukraine, you may leave the message here. :)

Treasure state - my sweet home!

09-03-2004, 01:51 PM
I have encountered numerous scammers already posted on this website. The fact is surely that in most of these cases, only the pictures are being used. I would suggest that as much as 30%-40% of the images posted on this sight, are not even images of the actual person who emailed them to the individuals reporting the scammers! The images were likely copied and downloaded from a website of someone's personal homepage on GeoCities or one of the other free hosting sites. I know personally of two such instances where a photo was used by a scammer without the woman pictured in the image being aware of the use of her image by another party! So it is likely the women featured in many of those photo images on this website have no knowledge of the scammers? existence.

You must be diligent and cautious in your dealings with anyone over the Internet. If you have not met them in person, how do you know they are real? So many women are often using Internet cafes in their communities. Having seen a variety of these cafes on my travels in Eastern Europe, I learned that many offer access to either a webcam or a digital camera. Remember, these cafes, although perhaps not as posh or modern as the eastern or western equivalent, are in business to make money. So, press the issue to have the woman get her picture taken with a digital camera, or webcam... even a plain old 35mm point & shoot, but have her holding a sign with your name on it! Just like women everywhere, they might say, "What, don't you trust me?" If you want to blindly trust a woman you have never met, with your valuable time and emotions (or money)... be my guest! Push the issue, and be relentless! But do it politely and tactfully, just in case she happens to be the real deal. If it will make you feel better about it... offer to send a small remittance to pay for your peace of mind! But use your on discretion. If she really likes you, she will find a way to make that picture happen!

As for the source of my wealth of knowledge and experience, you ask? ...I began corresponding, and eventually married a beautiful, young Russian girl, 7 years ago (we are still friends yet are no longer together, but that is another story). Perhaps, compared to most American men, I have been ahead of the learning curve in dealing with correspondence to women from foreign countries, since I first began investigating that option in the mid-80's. Additionally, I had my first opportunity to visit Russia and Ukraine in the mid-1990's, that further added to my understanding of the economic and social situation in Eastern Europe. So, my perspective is really quite different from those only now considering the possibility of meeting a woman from Eastern Europe. My first failed experience has not dissuaded me, however. I will be doing it all over again with another woman from either Eastern Europe or Asia, I assure you! (I will just do a better job of matchmaking for myself, next time!) Remember; although beauty is more than skin deep... don't assume that just because she is a wonderful woman, everything will function like a Swiss watch. Check under the hood and make sure that all the screws are tight and she hasn't lost a few from her brain, before you say, "I do!"

I have been involved either directly or indirectly with the Internet since its development. I have also had numerous opportunities to witness and investigate all sorts of scams and criminal activities developed on the Internet. The bottom line is that regardless of what country a woman is from, the majority of these women you will correspond with typically has one common thread... They all seek stability, and the opportunity to improve their personal situation. Are we any different, guys? Most importantly, they are looking for a good man, not just a handsome, sexy or rich man. Good men really are hard to come by in most of their cities. Alcoholism is a serious problem in many Eastern European communities. Another fact in your favor is that there are nearly 12% more women than men between the ages 16 to 65, in Eastern European countries (Russia & Ukraine in particular). This further illustrates their reasons to be looking for YOU here on the Internet. Just use common sense, and I would also recommend reviewing basic U.S. Immigration laws & requirements to fully understand what is involved in bring a woman here, from another country. It's not impossible to find true love on the Internet; people do it every day! But if you decide to bring a woman here, remember it will require a serious financial commitment on your part. So, be prepared; just DON'T be foolish with your investment of your money or your TIME!

Good Luck!

09-15-2004, 07:57 AM
Hi guys! A little tip. If you open the photos that they send you with Microsoft Office Picture Manager, then click on File, then properties, if the photo has been taken with a digital camera there is a good chance that the camera properties are embedded in the file and then consequently displayed.

From this you can tell at least WHEN the photo was taken. I am currently being strung along by an 'Anna'in Kazan who has sent me a two year old photo and then tells me she thinks I could be her 'second half' and enjoys my 'long letters'....my last letter to her was one sentence! Every letter she sends is templated. She is very poor at this! Once she asks me for money I'll send her details in.

09-17-2004, 09:03 AM
Hello guys
To find out the date when a photo was taken by a digital camera it's not necessary to use Microsoft Office Picture Manager, you can use Windows XP. Click the file by right button, then select "properties", then "summary" and you'll get the date it was taken and photo attributes.

09-22-2004, 04:04 PM
Forgive me, men, but if you will be too fond of investigations you will just scare any woman you talk to. And... what about some men sending their blurry old pictures with their exes and dogs in the darkness?????

Treasure state - my sweet home!

09-24-2004, 08:25 AM
Hello dear KBITKA
Investigations are necessary because we confront delinquents. There are a lot of delinquents who work in dating scams. If I had known what I now know I had not been scammed because I had investigated and maked the comprobations before sending money.

09-24-2004, 05:28 PM
Hello, Javier!
I know what you all mean, I know what you have suffered from and some are going to suffer. I just find the idea with taking pictures with your names in their hands totally ABSURD. I am Ukrainian and our mentality is different.
You know what will a woman do after such request? She will just say - oh, come on, another jerk, well, let's try different one. This is a very rude of me to say this but this is what makes me feel desperate - when i see many men on this site writing loooooong stories about their bad experiences, whinging to others, but when he starts a letter to a woman he writes something like "hey, baby, I missed ya, I was glad to hear from you, tell me about your life, I had a nice weekend and today is monday" and blah-blah-blah... no cordiality and information and real interest about her life. Also they all ask - do you like outdoors? Do you like to hold hands and other rubbish like that. WHY YOU ALL ASK THIS????? [:0] Any normal person like romantic moments and nature, but it is in their hearts not in these trifles - i mean it is in them too , but it is worth discussing?? and another stupid question - HOW DO YOU HAVE FUN? I usually answer - go shopping and walk, carry heavy bags to my apartment with no flat-screen TV :D
Sorry for being rude, but this research doesn't cost a penny if you do not read anything about the country and life there. Maybe then you will see many things in other light.... Maybe not. [}:)]

Treasure state - my sweet home!

09-24-2004, 11:48 PM
Hello Kbitka

I would have to agree with you. I think too many men looking for foreign brides think they are doing the women a favor because they feel they are "rescuing" them from such a terrible life, and that these women will do anything to come to the West. One can not develop a relationship in 4 letters, or fall in love in 4 letters. It takes time, commitment, understanding and patience to develop a long distance relationship.

I have know a wonderful woman from Ukraine for about 18 months. I have visited her, we have talked much, written often, and I plan to visit again in November. Both of us knew that it would take time. She is an intelligent woman who will not just marry any man to come to America. We have talked much about her concerns, because she will be making a major sacrifice by coming to America. She will be moving away from family, moving to a different country with a different language, different culture, different morals, etc. Let's face it, this is the biggest decision in her life. We are very much in love, but I am glad that we have taken the time to get to know each other, discuss our concerns, etc. Relationships are built over time. The internet does not shorten this process. Anyone who thinks that finding a bride on the Internet is easier than meeting a nice person in their own country is fooling themselves. I think it probably takes more time, patience and communication to develop a long distance relationship. If one is willing to make that commitment, they will find that is can be a wonderful experience.

09-28-2004, 05:26 PM
You know, I guess i am too rude at times, but some things said here made me feel desperate and i am losing hope that someone can see our women in different light.
Most of the research shows that men from abroad search for women in FSU mostly because of the CULTURAL DIFFERENCE, and another rude word here - BECAUSE WE ARE EXOTIC FOR YOU.
Am i right, dear sirs?

Treasure state - my sweet home!

09-28-2004, 07:23 PM
My dear Irina! (and whom ever it concern)

In my experience it is both way. Many men search a woman from eastern countries because they think they are not as spoiled as the western woman, and of course they are as beautiful and even more womanly!

But we are also, sometimes painfully aware of that some of the women are not so serious, and I mean the scammers, whom are a very small but very noticable percentage of them. Many women is just out for a luxoury life, because they believe that we live a luxoury life in west. And so we have the pure scammers whom are just out for cach! (And those are not nessesary from eastern or maybe not even women.)

The courting between a man and a woman in eastern is an era we left at the time of womens liberation. Pity in a way, but good in another way.
I think many men is seeking the "old time" when "a man was a man and a woman was a woman" if you understand what I mean?
And they don't understand they can't both "have the cake and eat it" at the same time. That is why we are so frustrated.

But in general, in my opinion, the women from east is honorable and proud women.Just take the time getting to know them.


09-29-2004, 02:13 AM
Hi! I wondered if anyone has had dealings with:

"Family+" International Dating Club
Voronina Str., 10-61

I have been corresponding, tentatively, with someone through this agency. As I have been the subject of several attempted scams, I have been 'testing' a little. Cutting a long story short, I offered to send her some Hryvnia (have some left from last trip to Kiev). "She" came back and said that any money should go direct to the agency - not to her. Now using a translator (as she evidently does) how do I know that they told her of my idea? She is also a student at Uni and the scale of charges from this agency would be very expensive for her so consequently I am not yet convinced of the reality of this girl and just wondered if anyone out there can vouch for the honour of this agency? Also is anyone else out there writing to a 'Tamara'(reefoasis) through this agency? Would be good to know!

Keep one step ahead of the scammers, guys!

09-29-2004, 07:46 AM
I am sure there are men who look for FSU because of the cultural differences or because they are exotic. But if a man bases a relationship on those 2 factors, then most likely the relationship would fail. Eventually cultural differences could cause problems, and also physical beauty fades with time. A strong relationship must be based on something much stronger. This is not unique to any one culture, but is common to all cultures. Yes, initially meeting someone from another land is exciting and exotic, but most people in the world are searching for something more substantial. We all want to love and to be loved. We do not like loneliness, we want to find someone that we have much in common with, someone we can call a best friend and soulmate. There are many ways to find this. One can meet this person on the street, one can meet this person through friends, on the Internet, etc. Anything is possible in this world. Never close your mind or hearts to the possibilites.

09-30-2004, 09:02 AM
I am searching, not for old fashion woman.
I can manage my own life already.
Not for being exotic or good lookings.
I life 30 minutes from red light district Amsterdam.
Could buy me any pretty one I want.
Would be much cheaper and less risks.
That's not what I want or do.

Getting contact is not a problem, not here, not foreign.
The real investment starts when there is really interest.
Scammers? You can be scammed nextdoor, it is not something typical foreign.
No investigation will give you a 100%. It is good to use common sense and experience of others but your own feelings are more important.
If you can not trust, you never will.
If I get scammed and it works because I put trust.
Too bad, at least I tried.
I will not give up hope, because if find her against all odds.
I still want to be able to trust her, there is no other way.

Maybe she is in my own town, maybe in Russia, I will know it in time, I hope.
Is it so hard to understand dear Kbita?

09-30-2004, 09:43 AM
My dear WXMAN.....
The feelings is of course an understatement in all I said.....


10-02-2004, 05:02 AM
Dear sirs, is anyone serious interested (preferrably in the age of 28-35) in a serious correspondence/meeting/marriage of a nice single Ukrainian girl living in Ukraine? Not a scammer. Speaks some Italian, writes some English. Serious, works as a medical nurse, blonde, no kids. 26.
Contact me for information, adress and fotos.
Serious men only.

Treasure state - my sweet home!