Letter(s) from Oksana to James (USA)

Letter 1

Hi James!
I so very pleased, that you replied to my quick message. Please forgive me my slow answer, due to a New Year holidays i couldn't reach my PC for a several days, from now on i'll be quicker in my replies, i promise :)
I hope you will be attentive to words that i am going to write, then i can assure you i will be patient and attentive reader also ;)
Cause from what you'll write to me i'll consider, is there any point in our further dialogue. The thing is, and i think you'll agree with me-it's so hurts to be ignored, yes? I want to be straight with you in our correspondence, i want to have a chance to talk free about what's on my mind. And it's so sad when you get ignore at the end, or rude words or more of it, when you've been called by a different name.
It's so unpleasant this happened with me a couple of times and less of everything i want it happen again. Ah, i am sorry if it sounds too pretentious, i don't want you to be frighten, i am a kind person after all. Please, read my letter to the end and only then make your conclusions. The point is, i am a gentle and loving girl but life gives lessons that needs to be learned, so i try to be more cautious now.
There is so much people that carries cruelty and evil with them. I am interested in you and the fact that you wrote to me tells that you like me too.
None of us could tell right now, where will our communication lead us to, i hope, no matter what we could be friends at least.
Well, to the point- something about me: i am a student, my main subject is sociology. I am 26 yo and i live in a town called Vladimir, Russia.
In my future letters i'll give you more detailed story. I must tell you right now, from very beginning, that in my free from studying time i am working as a dancer at night club, this is a very popular place and most of the time we should wear some extremely sexy wears ( sometimes topless), nothing more, no sexual encounter or anything else. i am not ashamed of my work. If you think that you can't communicate with a girl who sometimes shows her body in public places, it'll be better for you, well for me too, to stop this communication. I like man's who try to be honest with themselves, who doesn't judge just because most of the peoples do, brave and passionate persons. Please forgive my English, i am still learning and sometimes it's hard for me to translate, for example something from urban language or national specific. Anyway, forgive me if i'll miss something you'll write.
I like having fun, laughing and i think i am easy person in communication, like jokes, and the people who like to smile. Smile- is something you like to have when you live in a Russia, it helps )) Anyway, you'll not be bored next to me! Despite of that, i have not to much friends, but i try to be a best for this little company i have, true friendships is something really valuable! Hope we could be that kind of people to each other and will be careful and respectful to each other. I'll do my best from my side! It's not with any person i want to be engaged in such relationships, but, in some way, i want to try it with you. I like you and want to give it a try. i don't want you to think like i am irrational in some way, but we must confess to each others that attraction between man and woman is irrational by it's nature, don't it? I think i have my own head, i know something about peoples and society, well thanks to my education. Sometimes i think it's too much for a young woman like me, sometimes i want to feel myself silly little girl, who had someone who cares about her. But life had it's rules- either you grow quick either you lose. So, i became an independent instead of waiting for someone.
Now i think, no matter what was in your life before you shouldn't complain, look at everything around you- life isn't simple but it also had it's beauty!
We are the creators of our world and we must chose the people that surrounds us wisely. That's my philosophy, what's you thinking about it?
There is something that's on my mind also, as i told you, i had an experience in talking with some peoples from Internet, and some of this experience isn't pleasant, as i told you before, i want to be heard but some peoples talks like robots and avoid personal communications, so will it be possible if i'll call you some day? When you'll be ready just write me your phone number and i'll call you. I want to hear your voice. I'll love to do that right when i repair my cell phone, i accidently crashed it at my work cause of some drunk girl. Oh, one more thing, i wrote you that i want to make an exchange with some erotic photos with you, but i also want to be sure that it's not the only thing why you wrote me. I want to be sure you interested in me as a person also!
Some man's just wanted hot photos and they keep talking only about that, talking about some cash instead of my photos, but- the only way i can send this kind of photos is thru mutual respect and understanding. Some of this man's stopped writing me as soon as they got it. And this was not very pleasant for me. But, don't get me wrong, i think sending some hot photos to each other is really fun and exciting! It's a big pleasure for me to show this photos for someone i feel sympathy to!- It gives me wings to fly! I only ask you one thing, please dont be to insistent, let it go as it should go. Don't forget, i am waiting for your photos also and with a big impatience! Just resize them first, intenet speed is really low here and sometimes it takes ages to download a large scaled photo.
I am here and waiting for your answer with a big interest and huge impatience! I want to hear about the place you live in, your country, city, peoples around. I am so curious!
This was a long letter, but there is so much i need to tell you. I want to hear your opinion about main thoughts in this letter, don't make me waiting for too long!
With my best wishes,
p.s. Thank you for your picture, you look so handsome )))

Letter 2

Hello my dear friend James!
Could i call you my friend?
It was so great to receive a letter from you and i am so happy that you want to communicate with me further.
I want you to read my message carefully cause there is some important things i am about to tell you and i want to know what are you thinking about that. I am glad that you do not judge me cause of my work as a club dancer.
For me a dancing is just an expression of my mood and my perception of music and beauty of movement.
I have been hesitant when wrote you about my job in my first message, Mostly i don't talk with peoples about my job. But i think that any relationships should be built on trust and sincerity. I enjoy of dancing and some nice music, this makes me feel happy even when i am sad about something. I think i have a nice body, so dancing is something i was born for, i think :) Besides i think that every girl likes when someone finds her attractive and sexy, i like to think that i'm exciting girl )) It's really cheer me up. Hope my words doesn't knock you down, i try to stay straight thinking and free-minded. I am only asking you to not think about be as a lecherous girl or whatever. I am fragile, faithful and kind-hearted girl. I need only one man in my life to make me happy!
Sometimes life getting hard, sometimes bad things happen but no matter what, i love this life, every day, every hour!
But i stay rational and don't do anything that could be morally and socially unacceptable. And i think there is nothing wrong with my job as a dancer. Someday i could make a special dance for you only, would you like to see it James?
Every girl in our dance party has it's own nickname, a stage name, mine is Red Azalea. Does it sounds good in english?
The pictures i am sending you are made with a help of my old girlfriend. There was an accident with my computer a month ago and all of my pics were deleted. I'll try to find some or make a new ones for you. Don't forget to resize your photos before sending them to me, internet connection is so weak here, i am forced to use 3g modem for connection. Communication innovations appearing with a big delay in russia and we don't even have 4g connection here, maybe soon it'll appears.
But for now the traffic payment remains high, i need to pay for each megabyte i am downloading and it's getting quite a big sum time to time. This is a reason why i can't use Skype or social networks or messengers. So for now, the best way of communication for us is email.
I mailed you some new pictures, hope you found them nice. I want to know what are you thinking about my photos, did they made any impression on you? I am always waiting for your photos with a big impatience, hope you'll make some new one for me special. I am about to send you some more exciting photos in future, when we'll get closer to each other.
You know, it's not easy for me to find a new interesting peoples, to let them in my life. But i find you a very nice and interesting person. I think i made a right move when i mailed to you first time and now i hope our communication will continue. I want we to learn each other closer. :) xoxoxo
Let's i tell you something about myself then, well, as i already told i am 26 years old and my photos should tell you everything about my appearance. I have no close relatives as i am an orphan. From very early childhood i was grown in a shelter. This was a tough times. There are so many memories i want to forget when i am thinking about this years.
Children protection programs are don't get enough cash from a government in russia, it's a big problem and very sad thing to talk about let us talk about something else. We could talk about this later.
Right then i left a shelter according to some local laws i was presented a small nice apartment not far from a city center. I was a diligent student at the shelter so this fact, as also my willing to proceed my education, gave me an opportunity to study at the local university without paying a huge cash. So i joined a sociology faculty of Vladimir State University. There is a lot of info and you probably asking yourself- why does she wrote all of those? :)
You see, this academic year will be a graduation year for me, and now it's time for my graduation practice that should be carried outside the country, where i must departure at the very nearest future. All the papers already signed and my tickets are booked. I was given two weeks to reach your capital city, but i didn't thought about where should i move after. I was told to choose any city of your country i want for my practice, where i'll be staying and where i'll get all i need to finish my education, like room, food, cash for a living. All this expenses will be taking care by the Finnish government as i am taking a part in their governmental education assistance program. I'll update you with details in my next letters. The main thing is that everything is ready and i'll arrive in your country very soon. I'll need someone i know in the places where i am going to and i am extremely happy that i found you! This practice in your country will last for 5 month. So, we will have a plenty of time to meet in real, talk about everything, do whatever comes in our minds.
By the way, i love sex! This is a great opportunity to learn someone you like, sexual excitement makes souls wide open.
I am not pushing you toward this, everything will come as it should, in time and in right place. I hope you'll get my straightness right after all we are two adult human beings and it's all so natural when two people feel sympathy.
When the time will come and my practice ends, i'll have to return to russia to get my diploma. Right after i'll graduate i have a plan to sell my flat and leave russia. So, i am deciding now where should i move after that.
My flat isn't big but it's my nice quiet place where i can hide from a world sometimes. I redesigned it a little so it's pretty nice looking apartment now, i proud of it ;) It costs me some good cash but still... I'm not getting much with my dances but i never ever ever being doing anything except dancing to earn my cash, no sex-cash deals, i am not a slut, i just like to dance, please remember this. And i despise a girls who falls so low that they sell their bodies, this isn't right!
Almost all the time i'm in the university or at the club, i try to keep myself busy, i like that.
I like sport, like to run at the early morning sometimes. Winter brings other fun stuff like skates or ski. Sometimes i visit a pool, in other words i try to keep my body in a good shape. What are you thinking about sport?
Oww, James, you must be getting so bored to read this long letter, i'll try to make next letter shorter :)
I am waiting for your thoughts regarding some things i wrote.
Hope you doing great and smiling after you read all of this, wish you a great mood!
Your Oksana. Your Red Azalea
p.s. You are such a pretty on your photo :) kisses

Letter 3

Hi my sweet James!!!

I am happy to get a message from you, it gave a smile on my face and strong beats in my heart!
I feel so free in talking with you. I want to continue our communication, cause you caught me with something!
I want we to continue our correspondence and see what's going to happen then;)
I presume that my previous letter was to bulky for understanding so i better make some clarification about my upcoming practice and education assistance program. I hope that my english level will not be an obstacle ;)
I must start from a fact, that in despite of that i am living in russia i have not a russian nationality, my nationality spelled like "Mari".
Sorry that i must start from this far, but there is a reasons you'll see. Mari nationality isn't numerous, there are only about 500 thousand people spread on many parts of the Russia and some other countries. Not so long time ago, one of the famous film director Alexey Fedorchenko made a movie about Mari nationality, it called "Celestial Wives Of The Meadow Mari"
Mari Nationality is just one of many nationalities of Finno-Ugric group. There are other nationalities there like Finns, Hungarians, Estonian etc.
There are plenty of information regarding mari in the net, so you can check it if you found this interesting. Well, let me continue, we are getting closer to the point.
All this nationalities are connected with one cultural legacy and with a help of each other they try to save this cultural singularity.
By the government of Finland was established a international program that supports Finno-Ugric peoples who lives in developing countries or in counties with unstable socioeconomic situation. I found this when i was surfing a net so i thought, why should i don't try to participate in this program, so i filled a blank and send it for considering. A month later i got a call from my university dean and i found out that my application was approved and with a help from Finnish embassy my final practice will be carried abroad. I believe that my status of orphan as also my success in studying played a big role in this, so i was chosen from many other pretenders.
My dear James, this program gives me a big opportunities, they already paid for my tickets, and will cover all my living expenses when i'll get to your country. I'll receive a cash grant for my various needs and living during the time of practice, the sum is equal to 14 000 Euro.
I'll get this grant when i reach my final practice location. I'll be absolutely free in spending this cash as i want, this grant will be emitted to me at the Finnish embassy at your country's capital city.
This cash will cover any expenses that'll appears during my practice such as rent, food, clothing, well, everything that i'll need during this 5 month. But i'll get this funds only in about two weeks at the Finnish embassy at your capital. Right after i'll sign all the papers and get this cash, i'll be free to go to any city i want and there my practice will take place and i am thinking to choice the city you live in.
Once again, everything will be paid by this governmental education assistance program- flights, land travels, residing, food, well everything.
I guess i am not so unfortunate as i thought before ;) You know how this happens, when some really good perspectives suddenly appears at the horizon it feel so amazing, i can't believe this happened but it's real! After all this long hard years of struggle and survival... It's just a miracle!
Oh, here goes again, i am bothering you with my long explanations! But at least i hope you feel a little happy for me.
Dear James, i just wanted to share some good mood with you.
Hope i didn't scare you away with my endless talks and you'll not disappear. Could you send me a message soon and write some of your thinkings.
I want to hear your opinion and i also will be glad to get a couple of warm words from you :)
You'll find an info map in attachment, it's some about Finno-Ugric nations location, just in case you'll be interested.
I'll be waiting for your reply and i hope i'll see it soon.
It's so nice to have a conversation with you, could it be more than just a friendship in future? Hope so... ;)
Waiting for your reply,
Yours Oksana
p.s. looks so nice on this photos you sent! my sweet kisses to you....

Letter 4

Please, forgive me James

I am happy to find your letter with your kind and gentle words, thank you for every word you wrote!!
It's very painful for me and my heart is tearing apart but i think we should stop our communication.
You became so close to me, so precious, you are in my soul now and forever, believe me, i don't want to lose you, but it's seems there are no other options.
Right now i am in Moscow, found one internet cafe near by to write you this letter. The road to Moscow passed without any obstacles. But one problem appeared already when i thought i almost left the country.
Not a big problem, however if i don't solve this fast i won't be able to left the country and arrive to you.
It concerns about a small amount of cash and only just one mention about cash makes me feel so ashamed.
I won't be asking you for money therefore i concluded that we should stop our communication before you let yourself think incorrectly about me.
My precious James, i done everything that's in my strength to solve this problem but i failed.
I think you won't help me also.
Cause of this all, summing a whole situation, it'll be better for us to stop our communication. You'll not be able to provide me some help, you'll start to ignore my explanations and begin to think and speak bad things about me, dealing a greatest pain to my heart with your mistrust.
You are so close to me, you are the person i have feelings to, you are very important for me, it'll brake my tiered heart in to peaces if you'll start to shout at me, to accuse me in something.
There is such a mess in my head right now, i am totally lost, i am so scared, so scared to lose you James!
Why did this happened, it's always something on the road and now, when i found a special man...
I just don't know what to do. Why am i so unfortunate? Life just continues to bring me this kind of surprises.
I thought i had enough of all of this, but life just won't stop kicking me i guess.
You are so kind, so passionate, we had a beautiful dream of us together and it brought me so much happiness and joy, i never felt myself so delighted before! Maybe this strange and deep attraction to you called love?
I really thought that everything could become real, i mean you and i... You took your place in my hear and in my life and i just can't imagine my future without you. I want to meet you in real and this desire is so persistent and strong. I believe that our meeting could give us a whole new perspectives, not just sex, but something further, i want you, i want you all James!!
And now, everything just falling apart, i feel so down. I am just a stupid girl, wandering in a dreams but reality reminds about itself. I thought, everything become better at last :(
Will be waiting for your reply,

Letter 5

My sweetheart James
I am extremely glad to get a letter from you, it's such a relief to get your message, i really don't want to lose you honey!
You are in my life, in my soul and in my heart forever! But, i feel so down and upset now cause of this problem. I'll try describe it to you.
Different countries have their own traditions and laws. Specially when we talk about russia, where, due to political situation, law fields is always on the move. Cause of my english level it is hard for me to pick up a right words to clarify a whole situation, hope you'll understand me. The situation is also complicated with a lack of time- my flight departures soon.
But, before my flight, i must solve this problem, if i fail i will lose everything! Time constraints makes this problem almost impossible for me to solve. The problem is- it seems that i have some unpaid utility bills. It includes gas, water, electricity and communal repairs costs.
It turns out that due to some country laws i can't move abroad until i'll pay these bills!!!!!!!!
Do you have a similar laws in your country? I don't know for whom our government chasing for, emitting such kind of laws, but at the end a regular peoples like i is suffering.
However i have an utility debt for two months and it's equal to 288 Euro. I saved 100 euros for emergency case or for small road expenses, i paid them to reduce my debt sum. So now i have to find another 188 euro.
I will not be permitted to get on my flight until i pay this debt in full amount!!! This act came into force recently and i didn't knew about that, but still i feel myself so stupid and i can't stop blaming myself because of this all. I start searching for this cash right after i was told about my utility debt, sadly i have nobody i can ask for cash in Moscow, no friends or relatives here. I also can't reach Sveta or any other peoples i know to ask for help. I also tried to get some cash from the governmental program i am participating in, i asked them to give me a part of my grand right here without reaching your country but i was told that this grant is for educational purposes only and they will not pay any kinds of my debts. So, this is the situation i am in here, i have no cash left with me, i can't find any although i tried like mad. I feel myself so low-spirited. James you are my one and only hope in this situation! I swear to you, as soon as i'll reach you and get my 14000 euro from the embassy i'll give every cent back to you! All i need now is to pay the rest of this debt fast and get to you. I need this 188 euro to pay this bill completely and the problem will be solved, so we could make our mutual dream come true! You are everything i am thinking of now, i need you, i need your love, i need all of you! It is necessary to pay this 188 euro as soon as it possible, time is running out.
I hope you'll forgive me for i let this happen! I wish i could have a time to explain a whole situation more precisely.
But, there is always a time for a gentle kiss for you my precious James!!!
I'll tell you all about my adventures, about this long trip, describe you everything that happened when we will be near each other, touching and feeling our skin and lips. And we will be laughing about all of this little difficulties.
There is no need and no time for unnecessary questions, i am just asking you to help me as soon as you can. I am so scared to lose you!!! All that left for me is hope that you'll be able to help me! I pray that you could help me!
I am ready at any time to send you all the necessary data for Western Union transaction, so you could send the cash.
It's such a shame for me to ask for your help, but if i'll not be able to find this cash, i'll not arrive to my practice location, i'll not arrive to you. Hope you'll help me. Once again, i'll return this sum as soon as we meet! I know, you'll not leave me now, in this catastrophic situation. From your letters i realized that you are reliable man, a real Man! I want you, i want to be with you, you are such a marvelous person, so kind and full of passion!
I want to feel you inside of me! In every little hole of my body, that wants only you! I want to know the taste of your body and your love juice, i want you so desperately! This last wild days left me no time and mood for masturbation and now i am getting so excited and wet just from one thought about you in my bed! You became so essential to me and i know you understand a true value of having a person in your life, who loves you so sincere and deep, like i love you!
i am cherishing every part of you, of your soul and body and i don't want even think about losing you!
I really hope that you understood my situation correctly and still think only good thoughts about me. In this hard hour i need your support and understanding! i desperately need to see that you care about me, even just a little, now like never before i need to feel that you are on my side! I passed a lot of things to get closer to you and now, it's just this last obstacle left between us. We can be together so soon, eye to eye, do all the beautiful, sexy and gentle things in the world together! You, me and our desires! I want you so much, and i hope you feel the same for me!
Time isn't on our side so i'll be expecting your quick reply with a big hope and devotion!
Sending all the kisses i can send to you James...
Yours till the end of times,

Letter 6

Help me James

I'm so upset, i understand sometimes its hart to get a money and I cannot demand for help, I only ask your for help. Please find this money. A loan at whom-be or borrow it somewhere i do not know, please try.
Still there is time. I don't understand are you really have no money or you just don't believe me What is a true reason, why don't you want to help me? Once i'll arrive to you i'll return all this money, i told you that there is a plenty of cash that awaits me at the Finnish embassy. I don't want to lose you honey. It scares me a lot!
All my dreams about our meeting, its like an obsession, i feel like if i'll lose you i'll never find the man i need!
I thought our sympathy is mutual. I'm thinking about you all the time, my heart almost yours already, don't dare to brake it!
Please help, I will be very grateful to you, you will never regret this. I'm so upset and i beg for your help!

I will wait for your letter.
Kisses!!!! Forever yours Oksana

Letter 7

My Dear James

I have received your letter and its so pity to see what you wrote.
You must give me an answer in this letter, strictly- yes or not, but i ask you to read this letter before making your decision. I really like you very much. I thought and still I hope that everything between us can be worked out.
Once again i failed to find some money here and if i'll not find them here i wouldn't be able to get on my flight.
I can't arrive to you, so I'm asking for your help, after all i'm not asking money for the ticket and other stuff.
Just a little problem with my utility debt. If i'll not pay for it i would be able pass the custom control. I'm not asking a money like a gift, i need your help not a presents, and once again i'll return them to you when i'll get my 14000 from the Finnish embassy. But i need your help now. And it's a shame i need to beg it from you but i don't have other choices. Without your help i can't arrive.
I'm already tried all the ways to find this money, but I failed, so I'm asking for your help. I have a ticket and visa, everything ready for my flight, but i'm run out of cash in my hands. It's necessary only these 188 euro and the problem will be solved and i think it's not a big sum. I'll return all the cash to you when i'll arrive, actually i can give you more if you want, lets say 1000 i'm not greedy. But all my 14000 there, in your country and if i'll not come to get them i'll loose them and that will be a catastrophe. Maybe you can borrow this sum somewhere, it's not a big sum, i'm sure you have such money but in some reason you don't want to help me or simply don't trust me. I need to get this 188 euro tomorrow or on day after tomorrow. Well, its better be tomorrow, it'll be less problem. I can understand your fears, but i really need your help and i'm asking not a million but a very small sum. And I will return this money as soon as I'll arrive in your country. Yes James, i'm know that there is a lot of cheaters. I understand. But if you think about me like that you are stuck in a big mistake. I do not want make any justification or prove anything, it is simply too humiliating. I don't want our relations began from mistrust, i don't want to be in love with the person that not trust me! It's humiliating to ask such a small help, promise to return it and being suspected in a lie.
Try to think different, we could be born for each other, we could be each others destiny. I really like you!
And now you refuses to help me and probably you'll feel sorry for all your life, wondering, fighting with your doubts.
Is a price for a finding a real love in 188 euros to high for you??? You cannot afford this? Are you are afraid of risk?
Once again I'll tell, i like you!! You must excuse my frustration, i feels like tears coming up. It's really sucks for me to beg you to help me, but there is no other options. Surly, i can sell my body, cause i know i'm sexy like hell, but i don't want to be a prostitute. Well, if there is no way left for me i'll do it...
And then i'll arrive at your country and we'll meet, what if you wouldn't want to communicate with prostitute? And what about me, can i feel the same feelings to you after you leave me in my hard hour with my problems, so i had to earn money such a way? This will be the end of our relations. I don't want it, i don't want to lose you, do not break our relations and help me! I don't want to bring pressure on you, it's your choice at the end.
Excuse me if i was rough, I just really upset right now.
I'm finishing this letter, and will be waiting for your answer with hope.
Please answer me as soon as it possible James
Your forever Oksana