Letter(s) from Margarita Romanchenko to Eric (France)

Letter 1

my sweety Eric, as always i'm very happy to hear from you again and dear i truly appreciate that you make so much efforts to write me, but please i don't want to be the reason of your pain at all and that is why, Eric, please writeme as only you feel enough good and only when the doctor will let you do it. you have nothing to worry about, i'm here and i'll be waiting for you somuch time as it's necessary. the most important for me now is your health and that you would recover after the surgery completely. my honey, i truly wish to be near you...

my dear, speaking about you hair..umm i like you in all your photos. i like you withshort hair, the same as eithout them..you're just the same handsome man :)

so my darling, just know, that i'm here and i'm waiting for you, always your flower

Letter 2

hello my dearest and lovely Eric!! how are you?? how is Theo?? yes my lovely it's me, your Margaritka. at last i came back to you again. my heart i didn't forget you and my feelings toward you didn't become weaker... i'm very sorry for this delay with my answer..no my dear i didn't forget about you and i din't decide to stop our communication, but as i haven't own computer, that is why, unfortunately, i can't to answer your letters at once. i use the service of the internet cafe, but it's not very cheap for me and that is why i have to save funds few days to come to the internet cafe, to pay for the time and to write you a letter. i'm truly sorry for such delays. please i just ask you to understand that it's not easy for me to afford to come to the internet cafe very often, but i'm thinking of you and i'm waiting for a letter from you very impatiently.

and today, i was in such great hurry to you, when my working day's finished today. waiting for no second more,i've just run to the internet cafe to write you. and even very strong rain, didn't stop me, because i was waiting for this moment, because i knew that i couldn't leave you without my reply, because you mean for me a lot, because you're my ray of sun light...i know that you're sad when i make you be waiting for my answer, but believe i don't want at all that your tender heart would be full with sadness. you have lighted my heart up and i wanna do the same for you. please my dear let me sit near you and to be warmed with you..today was pretty cold day in my city...i'm even trembling because of coldness, but i'm very happy..and near you i feel so warmly, so comfortable, so peacefully.

ohhh gosh how much i was missing you and how fast my heart is beating now..how much i would like to pass my fingers over your forehead, your eyes, your nose, your cheeks..and i think how it would be great to feel the warmth of your palms in mine, to be lost in the shining of your wonderful eyes..

my heart if you just could see this great rain storm, that tried to prevent me to come to you today... and during such cold days i just dream about real warmth of summer and i don't know why, but i remembered that the water in the lake is such warm after the rain and i've just thought how it's great to swim with you in such warm water, sharing these sweet moments of the happiness, tenderness, caress only with each other, the bright stars and lonely beautiful moon. how it would be great to swim in the moon light, to play with each other, with splashes.. to feel like two free, a bit crazy, a bit wild creatures of the nature..not to thing about the people, to forget about the whole world and to be absolute free...how it would be great, just me and you, in the middle of the lake, surrounded with night fires, like with little candles...to be alight with the rays of moon and to see as its light reflects in every drop on our skin..my dearest James do you feel how warm water is?? :0)

you know my heart, there are not a lot of people in my life, with whom i share all feelings, which are in my heart, all my gladness and my fears. and i'm very happy that you appeared in my life, that i found you and you found me, that we met in this great Earth, though the thousands km between us, but i truly feel that your soul is close to mine. sometimes, just reading your letters, it seems to me, that we're sitting opposite each other, somewhere in the middle of this world, from the right of us there is deep blue sea, with crazy waves, passionately kissing the beach, for the left of us there are eternal, full of peace, mountains, where the soft clouds find the the wonderful place for resting and careless sleep. and you're holding my hands in yours and i'm looking into your eyes and we're listening to the beatings of our hearts and we're feeling the light touch of our souls to each other and i know my lovely, that i have nothing to be worried and i have nothing to be afraid of, while your hands are holding so tightly mine and while i hear the rhythm of your heart. you know dear, i have never said to anybody, but behind my smile of gladness, there is the fear, and now i understand what i was afraid of all my life..i was afraid of not meeting you. i didn't know where our meeting would be, i didn't know how it would happen, i didn't know how you would look like and from where you would come, but i always knew that i would recognize you, but i always knew that i would feel you, because you would bring a lot of warmth and sunny light into my life. and now i understand that your light imagine i saw in my dreams, being little girl, thinking of wonderful prince. you have come into my life, Eric and banished the fear from my heart, filling it with the hope. please my dear, don't break this tender hope in my heart and please, let it come true. and what about you, dear could you tell me about your fears, could you tell me, what your heart is worried about, keeping the inmost thoughts in the bottom ?? could you also share with me your fears??

ohh my God, the minutes are melting so quickly, my dear i don't want to go..i feel so good, just being near you but it's time.. but before i want to kiss you...have a nice day, my dear..your Margaritka

Letter 3

hello my dearest and lovely Eric..i'm very sorry for such great delay with my answer, but unfortunately i was sick and that is why i couldn't answer you earlier. i'm very sorry, but last deays i could do nothing as only to stay in bed in warm socks, to eat hot chicken soup, to drink hot tea and to take medicines..but today i have been running to the internet cafe to check if i got an email from you..i lacked our communication very much..i was waiting for this moment to come to the internet cafe very impatiently.

telling you the truth, i just can't believe that i'm again with you..again i'm in the internet cafe and again you made me feel very happy with your letter. i think nobody will ever be able to understand what these moments, which i spend with you in our letters, mean for my little heart, but i just wish everybody at least once in their life to feel what i feel every time getting the letter from you..:0)

you know dear, frankly speaking for me it's still the great mystery how fast you managed to rush into my heart and as only i think of you, it starts to beat faster. i have never could imagine that such tender feeling, that is in my heart now, can make the person so much happy and so much unhappy at the same time. i'm happy because i met you, but i'm unhappy, because we're still not together in real life.

today is such strange weather here, it's even possible to compare it with a condition of my soul. if you could see it with your eyes, you could just understand what's going on in my soul. in the morning it's raining and i was caught with it, as only i left a dorm. but i had to come back home, because i hadn't taken my umbrella. you know my lovely there is not very good omen in my country,when you leave something at home and then you have to come back, it means that you'll not be very lucky during a day..but i had to, because i perfectly know how it's awful to be sick and that is why i don't want to catch the cold at all..by the way my honey could you tell me about your habits and about the omens in your country?? which omens do you believe in and which means nothing for you??

so i came back home, took my umbrella, smiled for my reflection in the mirror...it's just one more omen, it's like to wish good luck for yourself.. and went to my university. when i got the Univercity, the a storm stopped and the sun started to shine very brightly and there were no grey clouds any more...just only bright sun light. everything was sparkling around .the ground, the buildings, the streets and cars..all this looked wonderful under the rays of sun. but in the half an hour, it was again the dark, grey sky...so the whole day, the sun was fighting with grey clouds and rain. just the same fighting i feel in my soul..the great happiness, that is like a sun, when i'm with you, when i write you the letter is fighting with the deep anguish when i can't come to the internet cafe, when i feel so lonely because we are so far from each other. every time when i read and write you the letter, i can do nothing with me and i'm like bewitched..i'm just under your spell.. without you i feel like the small wild animal in the cage..i can't wait till my classes finish, i can't wait till my working day is over and when again i'll be with you, my precious Eric. it's like to live between the light and darkness, it's like to be between the Heaven and the abyss. but at the same time if someone offers me to change my life, i will not agree...i will never agree to come back to the emptiness, that i felt before your coming into my life and i know my honey that one day the light will win the darkness and one day we'll be together...

my darling, believe me with all my heart i want to meet you and i want us to be together not only in our letters, but in reality too....i'm lacking so much to feel your presence near me...your warmth, the sweetness of your lips, the tenderness of your touches, your smile and the shine of your eyes...i'm eager to get acquainted with Theo, of course if you don't mind, of course.....and it will be great pleasure to me to come to visit you in France. i think it would be so great to spend together Christmas or New Year or the day of all people, who is in love, this beautiful holiday St.Valentine's Day...what do you think?? would you like to be my Christmas or New Year gift?? would you mind me to be the same for you???

my honey, i don't know whom you celebrated these holidays with a year ago..probably with your friends or with your family, but this year i would like to make them very special for you. what do you think about this my idea??

i'm sorry my heart, but unfortunately it's time to close my letter..ohhh my heart, if you just can imagine how much i hate this moment, when i have to leave the internet cafe, when i have to part with very dear and close man for me..how much i just would like to hug you very tightly and would never let you go away again..my precious, you're everything for me..i have never knew more wonderful happiness as only being with you....i miss you, always your little flower Margaritka

Letter 4

hello my sweetheart Eric..how are you my precious?? how do you feel today?? how is son??

my heart, believe me, there is nothing in my life what i want the same so strongly as only to be with you in real life and i'm eager to see you sooner. my honey as i promised you i got to know which exactly documents i need to come to your country. but my love, frankly speaking i have never even could think that it's necessary to do so much to make all documents fro coming to another country. first of all i need an international passport so as to have an opportunity to travel abroad...so i went to our OVIR, it's an institution where people apply for the international passport and asked them what i needed to make it and how much time it would take...they said that i needed to pay 390 hrivnas and it's near $85 USD and then i'll have to wait after several months(4,5,6 they were not sure how long it might take) i would get it. but as only i imagined how difficult these months would be for me without you, i asked them if it's possible to make a passport faster, after then i just had to listen to the long speech, full with the discontent, that ended with the words if i needed it faster i could go to the travel agency. so dear, when i went to the travel agency, they said that it's possible to make the passport during few weeks, the longest term is 3 weeks, but it would cost more than in ovir, it would cost near $ $310 USD. but before making the international passport, i need to make the police report, the report that confirms that i haven't any previous convictions...so i got to know about the police report too..the longest term of making it is 1 month, the shortest - 2 days. so as to make it during the month i need to pay 50 hrivnas, it's near $10USD, and if i wish for 2 days - 340 hrivnas and it's near $67USD. then visa and the cost of which is $35 USD

so, before to apply for a visa, i also need to make some additional documents. and then i need to book tickets, but for it it's necessary to know the closest international airport.

so, my lovely, as you see it's possible to make all necessary documents for a month, but for it, it's necessary to pay pretty much..i'm sorry i'll not be able to afford such expenses.

you know my honey i really couldn't even imagine that it's not so cheap to form the documents for traveling abroad... my heart, it's unbelievable much funds for me and when they said it to me i was sad very much, all this time i was thinking of you and and our meeting and i was trying to find the decision of this big problem as funds. i was thinking of where i could get them, but it's huge sum for me, for my friends. and now i'm so lost and i don't know what to do, Eric.

my dear i truly want to meet you, just to snuggle to you, just to feel your warm and tender arms around me, just to feel the warmth of your skin with cheek, to feel your scent, to listen to the beating of your heart very close and to know that there is not more perfect, more peaceful and wonderful place in this world as only in your huggs.

i'm sorry my honey, again it's time to close my letter, before i so much would like to hug you tightly and to give you a lot of tender and sweet kisses..please close your eyes....ummmmm very sweet, thank you..please my lovely come back to me soon and as always just light my day up...i miss you and i'm waiting for your letter with great impatience, as always your flower Margaritka

Letter 5

hello my dearest and sweet Eric, thanks a lot for your such soon reply. i'm grateful to you very much for your kind wish to support me with a payment for making necessary documents for coming to you and for giving me the opportunity to buy some clothes for myself. but you know darling, telling you the truth i was so much confused to hear that you need any proofs from me that i truly have pure and strong feelings toward you and my intentions are really serious. frankly speaking it's even painfully for me to hear that you have hesitations and doubts about me, because i believed that you trusted me the same completely as i trust you. that is why we decided to meet and to be together in real life. but as i see, it's not a true..indeed you have some second thoughts about me..it makes me feel hurt, Eric.

my dear Eric, speaking about the way to transfer funds, i visited a bank and asked them about it and they told me about two transfer money system. one of them is Western Union and another one is Money Gramm. both of them are very convenient and let you transfer funds very quickly all over the world. everything what you need to know to make a transfer is just my full name and my address. and when i come to bank to pick funds up, i need to know your full name and your address and also a Money Transfer Control Number (MTCN) - a code, that consists of 10 numbers in Western union system and 8 numbers in Money Gramm system. a man in bank didn't tell me which of these two systems were better. both them are pretty well-known, reliable and good, but if to transfer funds through Money Gramm, the fee is cheaper. my lovely, have you ever heart about these systems??

speaking about the bank account, again, probably it will disappoint you, but i don't have it, because i have never needed to use is...actually i have never had what to save there. a man in the bank offered me to open one, but it will take a bit more than week and to transfer funds to the bank account will take more than two weeks. my honey, probably it would be better to use Western Union or Money Gramm systems for fast transfer??? in any case my dearest, the final decision is after you.

i tenderly kiss you and Theo. i hope to hear from you soon again and with all my heart i hope that this coming Christmas we'll celebrate together..your flower Margaritka

Letter 6

hello my honey Eric, how are you doing my sweet heart?? i'm sorry if my last letter made you feel sad and probably i really didn't understand you very good. thank you a lot for your explanations. telling you the truth i feel a relief after reading your letter, because i've started to think that in one of my previous letters i said something what made you think of me as about a person with not serious intentions and that i didn't have enough strong and pure feelings toward you, my heart. but now i'm very happy that we could find out everything. again, please forgive me for all these hesitations in your trust toward me. i promise that i'll never do it again :)

and i know my dear, when we're together in real life, such thoughts will never appear on my mind and our trust toward each other will get even stronger :) the same as the tender and sweet feelings which we have in our hearts toward each other :)

so Eric, speaking about the way of transfer funds..telling you the truth i prefer to use Western Union..the main reason is because the making transfer from one bank account to another one will take a bit more than 2 weeks, as it was explained me in the bank, but i would like to start to make all necessary documents for coming next week, of course if you don't mind. and the same as you, my heart, i strongly wish to celebrate this coming Christmas with you and Theo, again if you don't mind to be us all together for this holiday :)

and as a lady explained me in the bank, western union is very reliable way to transfer money too, because so as to pick funds up you need to know not only the name of a sender, but also his address and the most important thing is MTCN - money transfer control number, it's 10 numbers without which it will not be possible to get funds. so my darling this number only you and me will know.

you ask me to give my name and address..

my name is Romanchenko Margarita

my address - Ukraine, Lugansk, Str.Matrosova 4

my honey, speaking about the phone, unfortunately i don't have one..as you know i live in the dormitory...we had one, but now unfortunately it doesn't work..but one my friend has the cell phone. please dear, give me some time to talk to her about using her phone for our phone talk. i'm sure she will not refuse, but i need to discuss with her the day and time when we could meet and she could give me her phone for some time. my sweety what do you think about Saturday, for example at 6 pm my ukrainian time?? if it's good for you, please let me know and i'll try to arrange our phone talk for this time.

so my darling, i tenderly kiss you many times and i hope you'll feel the tender touch of my lips on yours :)

i'm missing you very much and with all my heart i want us to be near....i hope it will happen very soon, thinking of you, always your flower :)

Letter 7

you really humiliate me Eric with your complete distrust and suspicion that i'm not a ral person. i'm sorry to hear what happened with your friend, but if he met dishonest girl, it doesn't mean Eric, that all girls are the same and among them there are not decent ladies. telling you the truth, i don't understand how you can speak about your love toward me,

In my last letter i asked you about the day and time, that would be convenient for you to arrange our phone talk, but you even didn't mention about it, does it mean that our phone talk is not important for you at all?? in such way, i'm very sorry for my efforts to arrange it.

together with this my letter, i send you the vidio, that i asked to shoot one of my friend using his phone. i did it only because i have deep feelings toward you and i really want to save our love and want us to be happy. but even if it's not enough for you Eric, even if this video is not good proof for you that i'm real, in such way i'll know for sure that you have never been interested in me, you have never been going to meet me in real life, you have never had serious intentions, but everything what you needed was just my nude photos to make you feel not very sad.

Eric, i'm honest and decent lady and i was looking for only love, nothing more. i'm truly sorry that your friend met a girl, who needed his money...i'm not like she is.

if you don't believe even after watching a vidio...my heart will be hurt very much, because it really loves you..you and Theo are very dear men for me...your flower Margaritka

Letter 8

hello my dear Eric, telling you the truth, it seems to me that i'm getting to understand you less and less. i hardly can follow the logic of your actions and frankly speaking more and more it seems to me that you just enjoy to play with me...i'm getting not to believe your words.

again i can't understand for what you told me about your love, deep and sincere, and that you wanted to be with me, if all this time you didn't trust me. how it's possible to test a person, whom you love???

speaking about arrangements of our meeting..actually it was you, who invited me to come to visit you and i agreed because with all my heart i wanted the development of our relations, but it's possible only if we're together in real life. actually i asked your about nothing..i didn't ask you to send me money, it was your kind offer and i believed that it was coming from your heart. i explained you my situation, that i asked all my friends and relatives to borrow funds to come to you, but they didn't have so much funds and i honestly told you about it. and it was you, who offered a support. you said that funds would not be a problem for you...so again i don't understand for what you said to me all this, if actually it wasn't what you meant..did you lie me, Eric??? now you're saying to me that you don't have such sum and actually you have to save, because you need to educate your son...Eric, of course i understand how it's important and of course i agree completely with you, that the education of your son is on the first place, but for what you said to me that you would support me and it would not be problem for you even to transfer some extra funds for me, if you were not going to do it...for what all this lie and game, Eric???

you say that you still haven't any proof from me, but only letters...are you sure that you don't mixed me with one of those ladies, whom is writing to you??? actually i sent you my photos in bath suits, i sent you vidio, i tried to arrange our phone talk..all this is not enough for you Eric???

i'm sorry Eric, but now it's me who doubts that you're real man with serious intentions and telling you the truth, now i don't feel that i have great wish to meet you. you're lier, Eric!!! you're playing with me..i just understand that there was no one word of truth in all your letters, when you told about your feelings toward me and about your wish to be with me. i'm not going to prove you anything any more. i have already made enough efforts for it. now it's your time to prove me that you're serious about me, because i'm very close to lose all my belief and trust toward you...Margarita

Letter 9

i truly feel sorry about you Eric, it's you, who is loser, because written this letter you lost a woman, who could love you with all heart, could be faithful, caring, sweet and tender with you..who would love your son, as own child, who would really do everything to make you the happiest man. i even started to think about getting one more work to earn and to save enough money to make documents to come to you, but after this your letter...i'm not going even to answer any of your letters any more.

i don't think that i'll miss beautiful life in a beautiful country and less of all i think that i'll miss real loving man if i don't come to you...and though now i really feel very painful because of all this situation, but i'm even a bit glad that i could get to know who you are indeed now, but not after coming to you. and it even seems to me that i start to understand that girl, who escaped from you and as only she came back home, she even changed her phone number so as you would never could get and disturb her again.

thank you Eric, that you open my eyes now.

so, i think it's the end ...i don't see any reasons to continue our relations, because with every your letter you just humiliate me more and more..you lied me and i don't believe and trust you any more..yes i still have feelings toward you, but after this your letter i don't see us together in the future.

you're right Eric, i'm going to disappear from your life and i'll never bother you again.

so Eric, with all my heart i wish you good luck and i'm sure that one day, i'll meet man, who will be real loving one, who will love me for my heart, but not for my body and who will not need any proofs from me to be sure in my love.

you wanted to know who is James...he's a man, the correspondence and relations with whom i stopped after meeting with you, because i really believed that you're my dream man. i told him about you and my wish to be with you and only you. that day, 4th of November i wrote the letter for him too. it was farewell letter. as any normal person i don't feel good, making pain to another person and i was worrying very much how he would feel after reading my letter, that is why from time to time i remembered about him...only this is the reason why instead of your name i put his in my letter..i felt very bad that moment, because as i've said above i can't bear to make pain to another people.

so, i think we have nothing to discuss any more..again i wish you good luck and of course to be happy...good bye my love in the past...