Letter(s) from Gulnara Latifyllina to Chris (UK)

Letter 1

Hello, dear Chris.

Even don't know what to say.... Week ago I've got to know that I've got hepatitis from a guy with which I was dating last summer. We had serious relations and even lived for several months together. It turned out he has human immune deficiency virus (HIV), because 2 years ago he quit from drugs and was infected while taking drugs. I made all needed analysis and got to know I also have HIV.... I don't know how to live with this... I also understand I lost you forever and don't know what to live for now.... I don't know if you'll ever forgive me for giving you a hope and making you spend so much money for me. I can't ask you for being with me now, I see how my life is ruining and I'll understand if don't want to deal with me. I didn't write you earlier, because I hoped your feelings for me decreased and you're not waiting for me very much, but I see you still remember me and I can't describe the pain I feel now...