Letter(s) from Irina Nett to Darrell (USA)

Letter 1

Hello there! How are you? I hope my letter will find you in good mood. We met on personals.yahoo. My name is Mariya. But i deleted my profile, because i don't like dating sites:) or probably I do something wrong.
Anyway I would like to learn you more, and I will send you a short email first to be sure you get it. If you want to learn more about me, please, write to me here, so i could send you my new pics, you know I'm attractive;) And I am open to all kinds of positive relationships:)
Well, I shall be here tomorrow, and I hope to hear from you (send me more your pictures too :) !
Sincerely! Mariya

Letter 2

Hi ! It's me Mariya. The first thing, I want to do, - to say "thank you" for your fast answer! :) It means that your heart is open for new friends:) I think it's Great, because the friendship brighten life of people and refresh soul, do you? I hope you remember me? I thought not at once:) when I found your note in my yahoo-box. I got this a long time ago, but there was no way to write earlier. Ok, Probably you have already noticed that I'm not able to keep my emotions inside of me:) Of course I am talking about joy, about good mood, about all good and positive things that can be in my soul. I always try to share my joy with other people.
I try to never show to people that I am grieved or I have any problems in a life. Therefore all people, with whom I work and communicate are sure that everything in my life is perfectly, that I am a happy woman, that I have no any disappointments. But unfortunately it is not always so, because when the person is lonely, nothing can cure sadness. And if you ever felt the same, of course you understand what I am speaking about.
Well, I must tell that I try to write in English as good as possibly (within my knowledges). I hope you understand all what I write:)
I study English already for more than 18 years, but I understand that my English is not quite correct. Therefore I apologize for my mistakes :).
At school I wanted to be the linguist or singer and even was finishing musical school. But I sing songs during my life just for myself and do it quite good :) I sing pretty good and I play piano. do you play any musical instruments or sing? :) When I was finishing the school I realized that I want to work in medical sphere. And after school I entered The Institute of Stomatology Kiev Medical Academy (the dentist faculty).
After 7 years of studying there I have received my red diploma on "Dentistry". The red diploma is the highest mark at the finishing the university in our country. I work for 3 years as a dentist(doc).
I like my job in spite of a lot of work. Also I have interesting seminar trips in many places. I go there to rise my work quality. Once me have offered training in Canada, and I then have agreed. It there was an every prospect see the world for me. After job in Canada Im well studied English.
Then I have decided that should work In the English countries. It's wide experience for me. Also it's very interesting. After ending training in Canada.
Me have offered job in USA. I Certainly have accepted it. But half-year ago I has returned to Ukrain. It was necessary to settle some questions.
And Now I work in a local policlinic in our town. Can you tell me how did you choose your job?
Well, what you are looking for in a woman ? Probably you have many female friends in the Internet. :) ..mmm.. What else to tell about myself as I have a little time.. By the way, I use computer at the clinic and work from Monday till Friday. But sometimes Saturday and Sunday.
Therefore, maybe I will be able to write letters in weekends, if you want :)
This computer is located in cabinet of medical analyses. We get the access to the Internet only few times in day, for sending analyses and receiving result.
Well, now this computer will be used for my dialogue with ! :)
I think you understood, I'm still single and I have no children. I wanted as well to learn more about your family .I miss my parents too much...
Now I have to go back to work and hope to see you soon.
Have a nice day ! Sincerely and with the best regards.

PS. I sent you with this letter another pictures of me on trips. Hope you like it.

Letter 3

Hi from Russia again Darrell! I Hope you're felling good when you were getting This message from me. How are you feeling Today? I hope great.
Today we have a cool weather here.
I like autumn. What about you Darrell? Autumn is a very beautiful season here. I Would like to know what month is the best there in your area?
I would like to know more about your area. It's very interesting for me.
I have told you Darrell the location of my town in previous letter.
Here we have park. There are a lot of trees all over the streets and it is very nice here especially in warm seasons of the year.
We have a lot of forests around the town. There are a lot of rivers and lakes here in our region and sometimes my friends and I went for a picnic or a camping all over the region. Also is a cinema, a librarys and monuments of famous writers here in town. There is a little orthodox church.
I Want to let you know that I am orthodox christian. My mom Was a christian and she had christened me too. I believe in God, and think that the main thing in religion is to have Faith in your soul and it is not necessary to go To church very often. Much more important thing is To believe sincerely in your heart and soul. Do You agree with me? What about your Faith?
Also family, it was always important for me. I think many people don't understand completely that family it is a big riches. Many people understand value of family only when lose it. I always loved my parents and now I miss them very much. Both my parents have passed away. Daddy has died when I was the small child. He has been killed in a military conflict.
Mom has died when I was 17 years old. After daddy's death she always was sick and spent a lot of time in hospitals. That is why I, being the little girl was able to do everything by self, I cooked a meal, sewed clothes, to help the brother etc. I have been compelled to study and work in the evening to support us. It was a hard time but it only made me stronger.
And I hope I became a person, lady that my parents wanted me to become.
I think that those pleasures and griefs, successes and difficulties that were in my life have made me who I am now. Now it seems to me that I was saying to my mom about my love too seldom, and now I so regret about it.
Darrell, forgive me that I write about it. It is my life and it is a part of me. Simply I want you to learn me more, because I as well would be glad to learn more about you. Yes I have dear brother. My brother name are Boris.
You can see he on the picture I am going to attach with this letter.
He a militiaman. Boris is 31 years old, he is married for 5 years and he have daughter-Yana, His wife is very nice, her names is Irina, we are very amicable, Also we have got grandmother, she is 83 years old, her name is Alexandra,
She lives in city, about 80 miles from us. I like to visit her somedays.
Darrell in the future I hope that we an exchange of telephone numbers each other. To hear a vote of each of us. But at firs we should find out each other little bit more. As I consider that telephone conversation it there will be more serious contact to the man. Therefore I should find out you more better.
Before give you my telephone number. I hope what is it not bad for you. Unfortunately I have sad experience, but I do not want to speak about it. You should understand me. As it only question of small time. Ok?
Well, i should go home now. I promised to cook supper for my brother :)
Potatoes, meat, vegetables... He wanna that I to cook for him, and I have been told that him Irina do not cook so tasty as me :) When I asked him, what will you do if I will be far ? :) I will die hungry :))))))))
Oh brother, allways hungry, he like when I cook pies very much. He like to visit me so much. I live not very far - about 2 districts away. I will wait for your next letter with impatience. Have a nice day Darrell!

Letter 4

Hello my dear friend Darrell!! I hope that I can call you friend or you disagree with me? I hope you'll be not contrary, and I will be glad to be your friend also. :) How is your weather?
Today we have a cool day again. Yes it is usual in beginning of winter. In the night I have snow behind the window, but in the morning we have a clear. I like when the sky is clear, but rains and snow - not lesser. It is pleased to me to see how snowflakes are falling down. I love to go to the street during the warm rain and walk and fell how the snows are titillating my nose.
Do you Like it Darrell, do you like snowfalls maybe rain?
Ok, enough about it :) But all that words about it was truth. :)
I think that there are many others things about myself that I must tell. In general, if to speak about my nature, I must tell that I'm the versatile person. I have various interests. I like sports, especially bowling, tennis! for me it is important to keep in fit, I am doing fitness many years and my body is in good condition;)
I like reading, I like to listen to music, to play piano, watch TV.
What is your favorite channel ? mine is discovery and music channels.
movie - I like "Pirates of Caribbean sea","Forest Gamp", "Ice age", Of course, I can't list all movies I like - too many good films have been made in your country. O, I knit warm clothes :) Very like camping, swimming.
Also, I worked as chef cook in restaurant for two years, when I was the student, not only for money, but to study. Everyone who come for dinner received a lot of pleasure trying my cooking...I Can cook European, Ukrainian, Thai, japan, Italian food. My favorite is Ukrainian.
But now i practically do not eat at home and do not cook. Only sometimes for the brother and for friends. Why ? Because i have nobody to feed, You understand? :)
and eat a little only two times per day,after having lunch i go to work again and in the evening We spend some time talking and then drive to fitness center with girlfriend together. I have decided to use the Internet because I have no time here from behind my job. Also I advised with my girlfriend.
She has wide experience in, and understands in Internet. Also helps me if I have questions. I even thought about happy future ;) I think I am optimist.
And maybe my optimism has helped me to dare to write you. I do not need many things to be happy. All I need is a man, friend, soul-mate.
My life has led me to the fact that now I seeks it in such a way.
And I do not think it is bad. Darrell what are the basic features of your character? I never tried to describe to somebody my character in the letter. And I have no idea how to do it. But if there is anything you want to know, I will tell you with pleasure of course.
I am very glad we have interesting dialogue with you Darrell I think we have got common things And it is realy good, it is not easy to find a man Which will understand. Thank you very much for pay attention for me,you Are good man. Darrell I want to tell honestly. I am looking for a man.
And for me it is not simple the pastime. For me it is a possible way which will allow me to try to find a man whom I could not find in the standard ways (such as - acquaintance in a bar, in the street or on job).
I could not find the person who would take my love and returned the same.
I could not find such a man among those men which surround me. Anyhow I do not regret about my decision to find a man in the similar way. I had a boyfriend in Russia. But I have tested roughness and disrespect.
Before trip to Canada we finished ours relations. I do not want to talk about him now. I can say, that I want to meet a man with the kind heart; a man who will respect lady. And I am afraid of man roughness very much, I think that true force of a man is his heart. A man should win love and tenderness of the woman by beauty of heart, but not by force of body.
Now I wanna to find my soulmate, probable to share my life with. And all my dreams of it:) You feel the same way ? What do you think about this in whole?
I am ready to continue to write the letter to you up to infinity :)
Now it my favorite occupation, and it is difficult for me to stop, but I should urgently start to work... I will wait for your letter!
Write To Me Soon!

Letter 5

Hi, my dear friend Darrell! Thank you for your letter. Darrell today was really good day, and right now I sit, write this letter and I smile:)
And I hope that right now you read my letter, and you smiles too. :)
My mood has become better again when I have got your letter. I should say when I have a good mood my work seems more easily to me and I almost don't tire.
By the way when I came to work today my mood was bad because my girlfriend fell ill and now she is in the hospital. I asked a doctor and he answered that my friend will stay in the hospital for about one week because she had problems with appendicit. It's not very good occasion.
I will try to visit her as often as I can. I think that to stay in hospital alone without any familiar faces is very sad and therefore I will try to adorn her loneliness by my presence. When people are ill we visit them very often as we can. I think it helps them to recover faster. I think it's good support for them. Do you agree with me? Please let me know what you do when someone of your relatives or friends are ill and stay in a hospital. Do you do the same things? As a matter of fact I have only two real friends - Anastasia and Julia is that lady who is in the hospital. They also not married but has attitudes. We are friends almost for 20 years. We went to the same kindergarten and we lived in neighbor houses a lot of time but now we live in the different districts. But it's not a problem for us and we can meet each other almost any time. With Anastasiya we work together.
I remember we liked to go to my grandmother.. There very beautiful places.
The air is very good and clean, it is a very silent place and there is beautiful nature. In summer we visited my grandmother during my vacation or weekends. We always go to the river to bath and to swimm. I am a fine swimmer! And if we would swim together with you, you would have a big problem if would try to catch me in the water, and in winter we went skiing and skating. In summer we went to the forest for mushrooms and berries. In Russia it is very popular. Once upon a time we even lost the way and found road already almost at night. We have to climbe a high tree just to look where to go. We were afraid but then we remembered it like a funny case.
Have you ever gone to the forest to pick mushrooms and berries, I wonder?
Of course I dont only had fun in the villige, I always helped my grandmother with her vegetable-garden. Every year she cultivates vegetables - potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, cabbage, garlic and onion, berries. This is my mothers mother:) My grandfather took part in the World War Second and got some wounds there. He took part in the famous battle for Moscow where the fascists were stooped and couldnt take Moscow. He had a lot of awards.
He remained alive till the victory and even reached Berlin, but he died in 1980 because of the old wounds. Our grandmother always gives us all necessary vegetables and that’s why we do not buy vegetables in the market at all! Now I visit my grandmother more seldom then when I was a student, because of my work. But never the less I try to do it as friequent as possible. My soul have rest in the village. And I am not sure even what I like more - a small place near the forest and the river, silence, singing of birds behind the window or a big city with cinemas, museums, beautiful houses and shops, with attractions, but with cars roar and hum of people's crowd and to add to all these with criminal. Unfortunately criminals in Russia are stayed on a very high level. But I don't want to tell about sad things. By the way today when I will come to Julia we will speak about you.
I have told to girlfriends that i has met you. Yes, my friends know that I am talking to you, and they start to ask many questions! :). But if to take into account that with one of them I work together in clinic, to avoid interrogation about my new friend is more and more difficultly! :)
I wanted to ask you what makes you happy Darrell? What do you like more, a big city or a small village? Plaese, write me as you can.
Darrell I have to go. But I will wait your letter and your pics!
I send you my pictures! I hope you you like them. I hope you can find me in my pictures. If is not, I will help :) And I hope you will write me soon.
And then I will have again a smile on my face.
Your friend Mariya.

P.S. I hope that right now you have smile on your face ..
I want you to smile, smile, smile, smile

Letter 6

Hi Darrell! I am very glad to get your letter this evening.
How are you doing my friend ? I want to let you know about my friend .
As it cleared up her appendicitis got inflamed, now she is fine and after about a week she will be very fine! So it is not necessary to worried much about her! I saw her today at my lunch break! My mood raised up about it and I let myself to relax mentally! May be today after work I will go home by foot. I like to walk along the street and to breath fresh air, especially when the weather is fresh and solar as today. As a matter of fact I don't want to go home. It is very boring and lonely at home.
Sometimes I don't mention it, but sometimes when I come home with a good mood, I want to talk very much, to share thoughts with anybody, to have fun.
But my flat is empty and I have to be in full solitude. And my good mood disappears. I simply sit down in an arm-chair and look at the window.
And when the silence deafen me when I hear as my blood flows in my veins, I hear movement of my eyelashes, at that moment becomes unbearably and my heart compresses. I don't know how to struggle with it. I can listen to music or read a book. But in some moment I understand that I just deceive myself. In fact I want a person to be near me, with whom I could spend evenings, to meet morning, to speak about yesterday and to dream about tomorrow day. I don't want to cook meals only for myself.
I want somebody to appreciate it. But enough about it.
I often remember childhood especially last days. I dreamt in the childhood and I dream now. Of course, the world of dreams is an illusive world.
But we live in a real life, Practically dreams do not always realize.
It happens that you use all power, all aspiration to make the dream come true. But as much you try, not all in this life depend on us. When the dream for a long time does not come true, as though you did not try, dream ceases to be that star, which was for you lighthouse in ocean of the life, which illuminated your way. But anyway, I think that it is impossible to live without dreams and hopes. When there is a dream, the life is filled with sense. The dreams are those things that do us people that distinguishes us from the whole rest alive world. The dreams force to think, analyze, choose and come to a conclusion. The Faith and Hope - an eternal satellites of our lives. And regardless of what waits you at the end, joy of the victories and subordinated tops we remember better, than disappointment and pain of the defeats. Do you agree with me Darrell? I am surprised that I write you all this. I haven't had person, with whom I could share these my thoughts.
But now I have found you, and I am very glad. Forgive me for my frankness.
If I said something that bothers you-forgive me please.
Darrell I want to hear your voice. We have phones at our flats and homes but because of much industry objects located near our town almost all phone lines are inner, i.e. people can call just all over our town and a couple of the nearest villages which phone numbers have the same beginning digits.
I brought my mobile from USA but it does not work here in Russia :(
But I think that soon I shall receive new phone and I shall inform to you number.
I have spoken with the mail center in our town and they told me that I could communicate with you just from the communication center. You can tell me your phone number more precisely and I could call you someday!
I hope you will understand these things here and will not angry on me because of it. I still can use email to correspond with you my dear Darrell! :)
But now I should return to patients... I will wait for your letter with impatience.
Have a good day!
Your friend Mariya

Letter 7

Hi Darrell! I waited to receive your email today, and when I got your letter, it was a better time.
I was working with lots of stress today. Today we had to receive medicines and all pharmaceutical materials, including anesthetics. But for some reasons the bus with medicines again has not come to our clinic. Of course I have declared to all patients that I can work but only without anesthetics.
But there were many people who were ready to cure a tooth even without anesthesia because there is no guarantee that the bus will come tomorrow.
Therefore today was the twice difficult working day because not each person is able to endure a pain, especially children. Anyway, I took a break and I have been informed that you had written. I forgot about all my worries with work.
I wanted to write back instantly but I could not because of the flow of patients wishing to cure a tooth. So, thank you for your letter Darrell!
Forgive me that I speak about a teeth and about my work. Probably the process of reading about it is unpleasant, just like to sit in the armchair in dental cabinet... :) I know that many people are afraid of dentists, but I assure you that as the woman I am absolutely not dangerous and harmless! :)

Oh Darrell now the main moment of my day is expectation which eventually changes to sincere joy because my friend Darrell has written me his letter!
Each time I have small feeling of worry - "What if Darrell have not written me today?" But when I receive your letter, everything becomes simply excellent, the smile does not leave my face and already nobody can overpersuade me that this day is a good day! I hope your day as well is filled with pleasure and nothing will sadden your mood!? It is really wonderful, when in the life appears new aspiration, new purpose, don't you agree? Without it life would lose any sense. Dreams and the purposes force people to rise onto mountain top or to sink to oceans bottom, to conquer North Pole or to land on the Moon, to build family and to win on Olympic games. And when your dream purpose comes true, you have tears of sincere joy in your eyes, and it is much more important than many things in our life. And you will always remember these tears of joy, because these tears will tell you that you really lived, dreamed, aspired and struggled. Darrell What sort of life you are looking for now? I have noticed, that I often start to ask myself these questions. 27 years old is not a lot, but it is not young age also.
I often begin to think of what I have done in my life, what purposes I have reached, what mistakes I made. I start to think of the future more often, I began to estimate my past. Probably this age - time to look back and to draw the certain conclusions, time to think and analyze a life, time to put new purposes and tasks. I begin to understand that I already hardly will able ever to touch amazing stars, I understand that many things in the life are not so simple as I thought; I understand that great deal in my life will be otherwise than I thought. It is a time of reassessment of values.
And probably it is high time to dream about simple human happiness.
You agree with me Darrell? Oh, Enough about it :)
I have absolutely overlooked, that I should return to my patients!!!
Write to me soon,
Your Mariya.

Letter 8

Hi there my prince Darrell I wanted to send you this to say Merry Christmas.
I hope you didn't think I'd forget to tell you this. Darrell I miss you and I wish I could spend Christmas with you. Next years Christmas will be the best for both of us because i hope we will be with each other then.
I hope you had a very special holiday.
in our country we mark it on January, 7. and i want to be with you by this time, this is my dream and the best gift i have ever get, if we were together by Christmas or new year it would be great !
Darrell dear I write to you from Internet - cafe now, here very many people..
And me gave only three minutes, and I think that you also have no opportunity to write me letter today. I shall write to you more full letter tomorrow! Again Merry Christmas my dear! Million Kisses for you!
Your Mariya.

Letter 9

Hi Darrell, I am very happy to write to you. Today for me was the last working day of 2009 year. And unfortunately I have only a few minutes to write to you some lines, laboratory in which I use a computer is closed now. Celebrations is so soon! Oh, it is the greatest holiday here!
We celebrate it on December, 31.. And you on December, 25. I had 6 patients today. was very difficult day, and just now I could write to you. You know one of my patients who was very depressed feel better. he had nobody to celebrate new year with, but just yesterday he met woman and they are going to be together on holidays, and they visited me together, to congratulate me. It was very pleasant. I wish them good luck.
Darrell you know,I got some presents today. About 15 people come to clinic during the week, all they were my patients in the past and everyone brought present. I am not able to bring all this presents home, so tomorrow brother are going to do it. He will have to ask his boss to drive to my work because it is not possible to transport presents without car.
Well, we are going to celebrate it at grandmother's house as they are the biggest. girlfriends also is going to arrive there. I am will meet new year with thoughts of you Darrell and when clock in our country will bell 00:00 after congratulations our president, we will have little champagne.
Tomorrow, I shall visit church... And I shall pray, what the next year to not be lonely ;) Unfortunately I should finish the letter now, Me ask to exempt laboratory. and I shall be the letter to you fuller letter, now only in following year :) is January 3-4 because the clinic will be closed these days.

New year poem for you my prince :

When you are hearing the bell of clock,
You know, that someone thousands miles away,
Hearing the same...
When you are thinking of someone who is far,
Know,that you are missed...
New year will come and bring us together,
With bell of clock our hearts beat as the same one...
Tear on my face my love...
Of happiness that we have find each other,
But the reason of tear we are not together...
I need you are with me to take it away...

With kisses and love
Your Mariya

Letter 10

My dear, yes, it is allready 2010 :) I am very glad to write you letter!
Oh Darrell! You know, we celebrated new year with relatives and friends and I have just arrived.. I marked new year with the family In the house of the grandmother. We were going a lot of any tasty meal, and, on tradition, have sat down a new year's table. Exactly in 12 night we have made a sound of the TV set more loudly, have listened to congratulations of our president and has come the most long-awaited moment!!! In full silence, standing we have heard, as the chiming clock have punched 12 times, each of us has thought of the most secret the desire also began celebrating! Just at that moment when a chiming clock have struck last time, on all our country, in each house with a roar of steel to open bottles of champagne, to ring glasses, to flow like water congratulations and good wishes!!! all of us with noise began to give and to receive gifts from the relatives. As it is a pity, that such holiday only once time in one year. In our country there is no more important holiday, than new year! And I thought of you many time.
I got very nice presents, everything was fine, but you was not with me and this is I dream about more than anything in my life. I do not work this days because it is holidays and have alot of spare time. The clinic has opened only today and I at once have gone to write to you the letter!
I spend yesterday with brother's child on the open air and we played snow balls.
We had very good dinner with Friends and they are curious about you and whether we shall meet :). Yes, they take care of me and want I would be happy.
You know, I pray to got with hope he is hearing my prayers and will do something to bring Happiness.
Darrell, I so am grateful for your and interesting letters. I always very much am upset, that have not time to write to you all that, that I want.
But unfortunately, I should exempt a computer in laboratory. Also I shall write to you as soon as I shall return to work..
I hope you like some pics from New Year:)

Happy New Year!

With kisses
Your Mariya.

Letter 11

Hello my dear Darrell. How are you doing this days ? :)
My mood is so fine when I got your letter, and have imagined that we are together and talk in person, It would be great:) Well, I had nice working day, 12 patients, at last in our clinic have delivered all necessary preparations and including anesthesia:) There is one more good news, a mine girlfriend is let off home from hospital.. I was allowed to leave my work to meet her... My boss knows my girlfriends.. Our microdistrict is small, and it seems, that everyone knows each other..:) I could not visit every day... But I did it every time i had an opportunity.. We've got a lot of news to each other.. And when we arrived to her house, I could not stop to talk to her about you:) How it would be good to meet you. she also is very curious.. I hope you are not against, that I speak to her about you so much?:) We could not speak for a long time... And about everything, I had to come back to work.. But I was glad, that I should see the letter from you Darrell today:)
Right now, behind window, the snow Has filled up all. And the wind scornfully whistles among of old trees. And everyone here, glancing through window by indifferent empty eyes silently grumble about cold weather that spoils their mood and changes their plans. And I do not understand these people. How they can be so querulous? It is simply small snow - the gift of the nature, gift filling the air by delightful freshness, bringing an amazing, almost imperceptible smell of winter. So many people in the world who dreams about rain and snow; how many people who never saw a snow, who is deprived an opportunities to play the snowballs with friends.
I always liked snowfall and rain.
However sometimes, in cold days of me heat memoirs about Cuba, sea and sun.
I was there the last year, I told to you about it? I think all seasons are magnificent. The winter covers all around with a delightful white carpet.
Trees and roofs wear fluffy snow-hats and a frost draws by invisible tassel amazing inimitable images on the windows glasses. And when you, Darrell hear snow crunch under your foot, and the sky slowly showers you with sparkling snowflakes or when the delightful gold autumn begins the most beautiful phenomenon in the nature - a fall of leafs? When the leaves, chased by a cool breeze, dances a waltz in the air and slowly fall downwards, undressing trees. And when you hear rustle of leaves under your foot, and when in the sky you see a flock of birds flying away with sad song, don't you want to take a slow walk also with your woman?
Or when you hear behind your window an autumn thunder, or groans of blizzard, would you not enjoy being at home with your beloved, to enfold each other in a warm plaid, and telling each other ridiculous and funny stories?
I think it is a big happiness when people are able to value such things.
And I think, if the couple are able to enjoy such things in a life, it only strengthens feelings. I am sure, now you think that I am rambling on.
Forgive me please Darrell :) I do not know why I write you this.
Probably because I feel conveniently in talking to you about such things.
I will better stop, because I am afraid that otherwise you will simply cease to write me. :)
With thoughts of you I will wait for your letter!

PS I hope you like pics from last summer.

Letter 12

Hi Darrell! All I can say is "what a wonderful evening after the hard day!"
I am so glad to receive your letter, because I thought that I will not be able to receive your letter today, because right now already evening, and I only now has returned to clinic. And your letter is a true surprize!
We had "the outside work day". It is a day of a hard work.
Every week some employees of our clinic - several doctors of various specialization and laboratory assistant who takes all analyses, are going all together on the special bus to various remote small villages which are located far away from big cities, usually in a thicket of a forest.
Here a lot of such a villages. The public transport is not going to such a villages and people living there have no opportunity to visit clinic at any moment because there isn't own doctor there. And these people cannot go to big cities and settlements because these people have no personal transport.
In these villages always there are many sick people, basically are small children or old and weak feeble people, whose life completely depends on other people. Therefore we go on the specially-equipped bus directly to these villages, and we render the medical aid to all needy people right in their apartments or in the bus. All these people already know us personally, and love us very much. But it is really the hard work because we are going there at 6 am, and we comes back sometimes even after 10 pm!
That is why now I have no forces even to smile. That is why I have told you, that your letter is really a wonderful surprise, even though now I hardly will come home earlier 11 pm as I write to you this letter! :) .
I feel that I began to say silly things? Likely I already have tired you?

Darrell I am afraid that I will be writing to you during all night, because for me our dialogue is a rest by soul and body! It is good that tomorrow I can sleep so long as I want, because after "outside work day" we can come to clinic after a lunch break. My favourite day of week is Friday, because two next days - days off (though not always) and I can restore my vital forces and energy. So the days off for me - a holiday! Though now I do not feel pleasure when I think of the days off because these are days when I maybe can't receive the letter from my friend Darrell! :) . But you likely will be happy when the days off will come, because these are days when you will not receive boring letters from one boring woman whose name is Mariya!:)
Am I right? Darrell can you imagine, while I write you right now this letter, Anastasia has fallen asleep right in the armchair opposite to me!
She works together with me and we always work in the one group in "outside work day". Anastasia says hello to you! She has told she will wait till I finish to write my letter to you Darrell and now she simply sleeps!
She is a true friend. But I will not talk about her as I am not sure if you want to hear about my friends. But she is really now the dear person in my life, like the sister. She waits for me because just as I, she lives not far from me. Frequently we spend the days off together. I spoke that I like the nature very much. I always spend a lot of time on the nature though I have such opportunity seldom. I like to walk simply in the park or simply to be in my bed all day long :) . camping, sunsets and sunrises, life in a tent, the smell of the river and bulrushes, a rustle of a small waterfall; night starry sky and amazing brilliance of a fish dissecting a water surface of a small lake under captivating moon light. It is very beautiful and romantic. Darrell do you like to be romantic with your woman?
I hope yes. I am romantic:) I like fire and I am sure that there is nothing more tasty than a meal cooked on a fire or firebrands. And when air is filled with aroma of the forest and timber raspberry, river freshness and a smoke of the campfire, all this brings into my soul the feeling of freedom, and untamable desire to live. I know I already talked about my liking to cooking.
I know many recipes and I like our national cuisine. "Uha", "Okroshka", "Golubtsy", "Borshch"(soup), "Gribovnitsa" (mushroom's soup)! My favorite is "Okroshka"! I like peppery meal, meal with seasonings, Georgian cuisine.
Here it is very popular. Darrell do you love a tasty meal?
Say more about meal you like? Does the way to your heart lay through the stomach? :)
If so, I think I have good chances! :)
Darrell I must go, because the darkness has already covered all around and if I will miss the last bus from clinic, I will need to go on foot some kilometers in absolutely deserted terrible places and Almost through a forest, and it is very dangerous. Certainly I together with Anastasia, but just as I, she is simply the woman. What is the funnest thing that you like?
What event in your life you till now recollect with laughter?
Oh, I have promised you to finish my letter, but instead of it I write again and again. Please, forgive me :) I will wait for your letter with hope!
I hope your day will be filled with sun warmth and human kindness!
Your friend Mariya.

Letter 13

Hello my fine friend Darrell I am very glad to get your letter.
Thank you very much, you are honest with me, you are very kind man.
I had free days from work. We always receive it after "the outside work day" we have just back from grandmother, Boris has left works, that we could visit the grandmother all family. We had very good time there, We couldn't stayed at home, all the time because There was a desire to spend time on open air . We washed in the sauna (Russian "Banya")
and birch broom. You know how it is? we had fine steam ! You like a sauna?
I would like have sauna with you :) Boris's wife was there also,in the evening my brother Boris cooked barbecue despite of cold weather and salat with vegetables! We had remembered our grandfather. He has left us in these numbers in 1980. in our country there is a tradition. To recollect died relatives in day of their death... Than Boris took his mondoline (it is like small guitar) and sang, grandfather's favorite composition: "Under balkan star" (folk song). It is very old composition was very popular during the second world war where our grandfather Sergey took part. He had many medals of honor, I wrote to you about him... The grandmother told about the grandfather he shoot gun and sometimes shooted, but this days shoot gun belongs to Boris He hunts now with it. Boris like to shoot in the evening and I tryed also :) He once took me on hunting, but nevertheless I could not shoot at animals.. But I very like fishing:)
Darrell also we have so much to talk about you!
It is very interesting, They are interested in your relatives, than you are engaged, and when I shall acquaint you with them:) Relatives says hello to you.
How was your day? How is the weather there? I hope good.
Oh, Darrell we were born in so different places of the world and we speak other languages with you, but it is not problem at all with communications, I am enjoy it, have never met so handsome and honest man here, to talk about so many important things, if you know how it is lonely sometimes during the day and i want to get you letter so much ! I think That would like to have family with so kind and honest man similar to you Darrell. :)
I hope that our relations will grow :) I think it is possible for me, because I feel that you are very good man and I feel that we learn each other much better!!! Yes, we communicate not for a long time, but do you feel the same way as me? It may sound strange but sometimes I feel that we know all about each other, oh if we meet one day, it would be great :)
Yes, life is too short, and if destiny will give us a chance we must keep it strong in your hands. I think that We became so close to each other, I am really happy to communicate with you Darrell.
Sorry, I should come back what to work..
I very wait your letter!!!
Write to me soon Darrell!

With kisses !
Your Mariya.

PS. I send you pics from our hunting and fishing:)
hope you like

Letter 14

Hi Darrell, I am so happy to get your letter! How are you doing my darling? :)
I feel so happy when get your letter Darrell, when I walking here, open my e-mail box and see it here :) Darrell your letters drive me mad :)
Our dialogue is a energy source for me. I often begin to imagine - what you do right now, where are you right now, or with whom you are right now...
There is a lot of kilometers, some hours between us, but I always think that maybe right now you as well think: "What does Mariya, where she is?".
And maybe we think of the same things at the same time. I like to think of it.
Yesterday has been exempted from work earlier. I spent time reading, walking, cooking :) To me came brother after work. Oh my prince, apple pie I cooked yesterday was great! Boris took the half home to have breakfast with tomorrow. Was very fun situation, Boris went to cut his hair and when he come for supper the most part of his hair has not been cut and other part was cut very short! I laugh and Boris was not able to understand what happened :) you know, it seems like that those hair cutter was not able to done his work with right way because of holidays, may be drinking too much or just was too tired :)) Well, you know, I can cut hair very good and did it with Boris's hair, he is handsome now and glad to me. May be someday I will cut your hair also:)) Boris send to you Hi, and always asks about you, how are you. Frankly speaking, I do not hide, that I have found such a wonderful friend, and nobody is surprised that my friend lives in other country. Everybody only are glad. Everyone understand that such relations means greater mutual understanding, greater interest, greater respect.
And I am sure that it is really so. Nobody here is surprised if the woman searches for not Russian man. I think the cultural distinction is a wonderful thing. I don't understand Russian men and their culture of dialogue with woman. They are not able to appreciate woman's feelings, her fidelity, love. They do not appreciate sincerity and aspiration of woman to do for a man absolutely everything, wishing to get from him only the love, respect and fidelity. I do not want to speak about bad and sad things.

Time goes so speedy. Special mood this days, full of thoughts about future, romanticism, love... The world is really big place Darrell, I am very curious about us my dear, two people from different countries, who speak in different languages find each other, have so much in common....
Very interesting situation. I think that it is very important not just live, it is very important to feel, to feel every instance, when you understand that day have not just passed, when it brought something new !
In my mind nothing in this world just happened only because of us, I think that destiny is real and give us way, way we need, way which is important for us.
I know you are so far, but why? Why you were born there Darrell?
Not here in Kamyshin? Because if you were born here and live may be on the closest street, may be we will never meet each other? But you were born so far, and we are already together, in our hearts, in our souls. If I look in my past I would like to say that I have never met man who is so carry and kind as you.
You really brought happiness and very good feeling to me, I am sure that this feeling similar is love, it is not just called "love", sometimes people pronounce this world as other words and do not put anything special, just say "I love you" but does seems it true feeling? You know, when you have feelings, words are not necessary sometimes, what are words?
What are true feelings? Words are material things and are able to destroy anything, but are they necessary when you fall in love? When people come to me at work and ask to marry... What are they waiting from me?
That I tell them yes? They feel that I am carry doctor and always give them the advice, help, I speak with them when I am really interested in them as doctor.
It happened 4 times for these days.... They just see my beauty and words which every doctor should speak say... Do they see the beauty of my soul?
Darrell, we have never met in person, but you are the one man in the this world who feel beauty of my soul, who carry for me. What can I say.
I think My heart openly for you, and I think that my life opens for you.
I can get no sleep this days, my heart beat so speedy, and wrote this poem today at night:)

I see you in my dreams,
I feel you are with me,
Do I need more?
What do you think?
May be just take off everything
And feel you are in person,
Are you ready to give me the rose of love?
Flower which is blossom forever,
Which is shining in the darkness,
And promt the way...
The way full of love and happiness

It is a pity, that i cannot continue my letter...
I shall wait your answer..

With kisses ...
Your Mariya.

Letter 15

Hi Darrell! I am sincerely glad to receive your letter. And I am very glad that I have had an opportunity to write you because I want to tell you today so much. I want to share with you today so many things.
Darrell I always was sincere with you and I want to be sincere now because from the very beginning we built our friendship on the sincerity and openness.
It is difficult to write about it because those emotions that now I try to transform into words are new for me, and for the first time in my life I try to explain things that I feel for the first time in my life. And I feel that I should be very exact and accurate in my words. I understand that at such moment is necessary to think over each word because even though I simply want to tell the truth, even though I simply want to tell sincerely everything what now is in my soul, I understand that the truth and sincerity can sometimes offend the person, bring disappointment.
And I want you to understand all my thoughts correctly because I do not want to offend you or to put you by my words into awkward position.
Darrell you are very dear to me, and I do not want to lose those relations that we have, because these relations are important for me. And all main emotions that often visit my heart, - pleasure and even happiness, disappointment and sadness, now depend only on one thing - presence of your letter.
I for the first time in my life tried to start relationship with a man who so far away from me, relations where thoughts and feelings of each other take the main place as these are the only things that unite us together.
And it is a best opportunity to become first of all friends, best friends,- with the open hearts, ready sincerely to share with each other all feelings and emotions. I try all this for the first time in my life and I do not know what waits for me and you in the future, but I would be happy to have relationship with you, friendly and more, regardless of the fact what waits for each of us in the future. And I would be happy if you have such desire as well. And even though I for the first time in my life try to start such relationship, I already thank God for what I feel right now. It is very valuable for me and I believe that all that was in my life,- all ups and downs, all tests and losses are the way where God has put me to learn to appreciate life and to be wise, to learn to make decisions and to make a correct choice when the time of a choice will come. I believe that I had to pass through this way,- to be ready to meet a man who will become my soul and heart, with whom I will build the small world of love and tenderness, giving to him all my care, fidelity and infinite respect; with whom I will be up to death because he will give me the most important things in a life - the sincere love and care, These are an only things most important for me.
And I am sure that these are things you appreciate as well. The beauty and external attractiveness are main thing for many people, but my life has shown me that the main thing in the person - internal beauty, beauty of his soul and heart. Not a lot of people really possess internal beauty and not a lot of people really understands that it is most important and most unique quality,- quality helping to believe in a miracles and in a fairy tales, quality that makes people sincere and kind. This is what I was looking for in a man, it is what I put at the first place, it is a feature that could open my heart. And I want to tell Darrell, that you are beautiful man, beautiful first of all as must be beautiful everyone true man. I speak first of all about beauty of your soul and heart. You are beautiful for me and that is why I already now thank Destiny that I has come to this crossroads of a life where I have met you. Here people forgot about many important things, and words "love" and "fidelity" here have lost sense, became simply words. I am not sure if you understand everything I try to tell, but I hope that my words do not offend you in any way. My words are not simply words, it is a part of my soul that I open to you because I feel that I can and I want to do it. And I hope you feel in the same way.
And I really wish to develop our relations, to go further, to learn each other at a new level, where friendship is only the first step. I want to go on the way that will not be limited only to friendship. I see new horizons, and I feel that I want to try to promote our relation further than it enough to be simple friends. And I hope my words do not disappoint you because I always wanted to be sincere with you and I think that sincerity is a best thing.
Darrell could you ever relax your eyelids, allow your eyes to close, and to imagine a life we could share? I really dare to dream and imagine us together as man and woman,- people that can brighten a life of each other, fill life with sense and variety, with aspiration to learn each other more and more. And I think everyone should believe in dreams; everyone should believe that dreams can really come true! I know that I can lose you at any moment.
I thought of us and I wanted to tell you everything I think; so that you know that I feel we becomes very good friends and our relations make me happy.
I wanted to tell you everything what I think, so that you know that you are dear for me. And even the one day without you, without your letter is equivalent to eternity, therefore I even cannot imagine months without you at all... And I hope that our relations are important for you just as for me.
I dare to hope, that you at least allow itself to think, that our relations can be promoted further than simply friendship.
I hope now you have really smile now!
I will wait for your answer Darrell.
I hope I have not offended you.

Your Mariya.

Letter 16

Darrell today I write to you with special worry but as well with pleasure and hope. I really hope that everything that I will tell you today will make you happy. Last time when I wrote you my honest letter I had the big sadness in my heart, and even though I tried to not show it, I think you have noticed it. Darrell I was sad because the boss informed me that approximately in two weeks the dentist cabinet will be closed for full re-equipment and repair. And when he have told me it, I thought my heart will stop, because when it will take place, I will not be able to communicate with you again for months! And it has brought infinite sadness into my heart. But after my boss informed me about close of the cabinet, the accounting department informed me that approximately in two weeks I will get my vacation! When I thought that I can lose you for some months, inside my soul I at once have felt that I can't simply accept it.
And I have felt that together with sadness in my heart has appeared an other feeling - feeling of confidence, desire to make new steps instead of simply waiting for something. I have understood that our relations are important for me much more than I thought. And it so wonderfully.
But a thought that I will not be able to communicate with you, to receive your letters and to write mine,- all these thoughts has brought a pain to me, pain that I can't endure. I talked with Julia and she asked me what I think to do. And when she has asked me it, I have understood that inside my soul I already know the answer to this question. And I have told that I do not want to spend such a vacation in loneliness. I can't accept a thought that I will not talk to you during of month or two. And I have told that I want to meet you Darrell! I have told her that I want to spend my vacation with you Darrell! I can come to you, and we can spend time together if you want. And first I was afraid that if I will tell you about it in the letter, you will write me that you do not want to see me or can not meet me. And it would hurt my heart. But Julia have told, that you Darrell and I are such a good friends, our relations are built on sincerity, therefore you will be happy to spend time with me. And I really think that it would be delightfully. So, what you will say Darrell if I will offer you a meeting? Would you be happy to see me and to spend with me several days?
I cannot imagine at all how it would be wonderful. You would show me your life, we would learn each other in a real life. We would look into the eyes of each other, we could hold our hands, tell each other silly stories, laugh and tease each other, watch the stars in the night sky and have romantic evening, go to the movie or we could simply sit on a bench in the park, and who knows what else we could do together... I would be happy to do all this together with you, instead of again be lonely without you and our friendship. I simply want to meet you.
I know all I need to do to come to your country. I have the passport.
But I must visit improbable quantity of the departments, to collect improbable quantity of documents, for travel and probable work in your country, find as many as possibly of other official legal persons, institutions and people for support; to get petitions. But if I will quickly collect all necessary documents. I will get the all papers in two weeks!
And being the doctor I will have support and guarantees from Ministry of Health of Russian Federation, and it is certainly the best guarantor.
If the applicant have official recommendations and directions to various sorts of conference, seminars, - it will relieve of necessity to wait for some weeks the decision of the commission. But as soon as I shall be in your country, I shall have an opportunity to work, also there will be an opportunity, at desire, to prolong the visa or even to receive citizenship, If I shall want :) ... Darrell with happiness and with hope that you will be happy to spend some days with me! I do not ask you about anything.
I will make everything by self. It is my vacation and I will not be a burden. Would you be happy to spend some time with me soon, Darrell?
Anyway, we must meet. It is possible to wait eternally. But I believe that I will get my vacation not accidentally; and I believe that the medical cabinet will be closed at the same time not accidentally as well. It is not coincidence! It is time to make a choice, to make the decision, to take new step.
Maybe such opportunity will not be repeated again. What can be better than a meeting of two friends? The first meeting. It is simply delightful and I thank destiny that I have got such an opportunity, - an opportunity to meet my dear friend, the opportunity to learn each other in real life, the opportunity to enjoy time which we can spend together. And I believe that it can become the beginning of something new in our lifes and in our relations.
And I am really happy to get a vacation because it is time which I can spend in any way I want, and I want to spend this time with you Darrell!
So what will you tell? Would you like to spend time with me? Would you be glad to meet me? Would you be happy to have the first meeting at your airport?
I will wait for your answer with pleasure.

With Love
Sincere Your Mariya.

PS: memoirs about summer in these cool days on pictures, I hope you like it !

Letter 17

Hi my Darrell! I waited for your letter with fear and with pleasure at the same time! And I am very happy to receive your letter! I am ready to jump and dance, laugh and sing songs! And the reason - you Darrell!
Thank you for your letter and your thoughts. I am so happy that we can meet.
Now I have the ocean of emotions and I at all do not know what to say.
I am worried very much. I very much hope that we can perfectly spend time together. I only am afraid, that if we will meet, I will asks so many questions and to chatter unceasingly, that you soon will escape from me.
My vacation will begin approximately in two weeks. At this time I can arrive to you. But unfortunately the schedule of my vacation is not flexible.
Therefore I hope you will be glad to meet me at this time. If you have not enough time, I will be happy all the same. I will be happy in any case.
It is better to wait when you will come from work, than to sit in my apartment and to know that nobody will come!!! Duration of my vacation is 34 workdays. But quantity of days which I can spent with you depends on when I will get my vacation and when I will order the ticket. However at desire I can prolong vacation at own expense. But I at all would not want to leave you :) How many days you want to be with me? I think preparation for travel will be about two weeks. Complexity of approval of the papers, visa will be reduced to a minimum as I will have petitions and characteristics from a work place, from respected organizations and legal persons; guarantee documents and a various sort of the information and inquiry, which will be given to commissions I will get the petition and a testimonial from Ministry of Health! Except of that I will pay for preparation for the commission.
Every day I think - what my friend Darrell will tell me today, what mood he will have today? And as soon as I get free minute, I rush to analyses's cabinet to find out if you have written to me or not. And when I receive your letter, I start to smile from ear to ear anticipating the best time of my day - time when I read your letter and when I write to you the all my thoughts. These are the most important minutes of my day. And these minutes I don't hear anything and I don't see anything except of lines and paragraphs which in my mind will be transformed into small movie, movie about you, my dear Darrell. And you cannot imagine at all how it wonderfully!
Sometimes I think, what would be if I have not found the boldness in myself to write you? What would be if I didn't believe that I can find a man in such a way? I always want to think that I the courageous woman, but I feel that actually it is not so. I am ready to give my life for the sake of person who are close and dear for me, I am ready to donate my well-being for the sake of well-being of other person but when I think of myself, I often become timid and all my boldness disperses like the fire's smoke.
I am often afraid to make something, to take some step simply because of fear that it will be an incorrect step. I am often afraid to ask people about anything simply because of fear to get the negative answer.
Not always, but it happens. What would happen, if you have not answered my letter? Nothing would happen! And grey monotonous days again would lie on a way of my life by infinite impenetrable veil. Do you want to know what I did today? First off, I should tell that I slept with a smile on my face!
At least when I have woken up and have looked at the mirror, I have noticed that I smile! Then, I cleaned a teeth and I had smile! Then, I jog and I smiled as if actually I watched funny movie. Then, I have cooked a breakfast and drank a coffee with a smile on my face! Then, I have come to clinic, and I could not hide my smile. I was ready to laugh and I at all had no desire to work! It is a very bad symptom for the doctor! :)
Everything around have seemed to me a beautiful and wonderful. And even the severe boss, when have seen that I look at him and I smile, he began to survey himself attentively and even have come near to the mirror to see if anything wrong! He has thought that something wrong with his clothes! All the day I work with smile on my face! Anastasia looks at me and smiles as well.
Of course she understands the reason, and it makes her happy as well! And when time of sleep will come, I will lie in my bed with the same smile on my face! And if you till now have not understood why I smile, I will tell you!
I smile because I think of you, Darrell! And it brings joy! I am so happy that I have in my life such a man as you! Thank you that you are in my life!
I have to go. Now I will not have a lot of time after work because after work I will have one more working day!:) You may ask what I mean?
The preparation for my trip! You cannot imagine at all how many deals I must do for our meeting! I even have asked the boss to reduce my working day or to allow me to take some hours off in the middle of day to make some things, because after 5pm not all departments works! Of course now I should work in the days off to have more of free time at week-days. But thoughts about our meeting give me force and energy! I am sure that everything will be perfectly! I will wait your letter! Please, write me because I need your letters and support more than ever!

With Love and more Kisses!
Always your Mariya!

Letter 18

Hi My Darrell! Thank you for your letter. You became the most dazzling moment of my day! I just now spent some time with Julia in clinic. We had tea, And dialogue only about us Darrell :) How I wish you saw how Julia is happy that we will meet!
She is sure that our meeting will make us happy. It is simply impossible to talk to her now! :). She has now only one theme for conversation - you Darrell!
She constantly asks about you, asks - what I will do together with you, she asks - what I will do at the airport, she asks - what I will cook for you.
She asks how I am going to impress you, to intrigue! She even asks how I will tempt you! :)) . She say that I do everything correctly and I should not be afraid of anything at all. To conquer the road can only one who goes on this road. Julia is very glad that I have found you, and she sends you her friendly greetings and a wishes of happy expectation of me!:).
Probably I the most successful woman on our planet because I have found a kindest and gentle man who is capable to make so that my heart have been overflow with feelings and my soul aspires to cross space and ocean and to rush into his life, to be united in a single whole with his soul.

My dear! I am not sure that I can arrive exactly, in two weeks.
Maybe I will arrive a little later, because it is an approximate time of beginning of my vacation and it can change. You will wait for me all the same?
Please, don't be angry with me if I cannot write you much now. I hope you understand that I even after my working day in clinic must do too much for our meeting. Today I will go to Ministry of Health. I think this is one of the most important deals for me right now. I will give them the all my medical documents and tomorrow I will probably get all documents and forms of petitions which I must fill out as soon as possible. Then I will go to Army Garrison where were working my father. They must collect for me all the information about my father, about history of the death of my father.
I must have data about work of my father not only in this Army Garrison, but also in all others Garrisons where my father worked during all life.
To make it extremely difficultly, if to take into account that my father worked in Army Garrisons in various points of our huge country. But I am sure that I will get the information because here many officers who remember my father, and I hope they will be glad to help me.
Darrell today I feel that I start to worry more than I even could imagine.
I am very glad that I do all this. And I think of our meeting every minute.
The meeting at the airport... I don't think that many people on our planet have an opportunity to enjoy such a delightful moment - the moment of the first meeting at the airport. It is so beautiful. I feel that it will be very touching moment for each of us. It calms me down.
I see us together, I see us walking in the park; I see us speaking about serious and about silly things, or playing cards or a checkers (and the one who lose will execute any desire of the winner :)), I see wonderful dinners at home and outside! I see you sitting on a sofa with a juicy peach in your hand and I see me dancing in front of you beautiful dance, or maybe even erotic dance:), How about Belly dance? :). I do it stunningly!:).
I see us swimming; I see us on a roof of a house, watching the full moon; I see us fighting by pillows; I see us in the evening at home, with romantic light of candles; I see us cooking together Ours pelmenies and Yours pizzas :) ; I see me in your embraces. All this waits for us in the near future; and I enjoy, anticipating this delightful time together!
Do you feel the same, Darrell? Oh, would you like to give me massage of my back? I would like to give you massage! But I must warn you, that if you want to give me massage, you should not touch my ribs! :)
The reason - I the most ticklish woman in country :) Darrell I madly am afraid of titillation! If someone tickles my foot or ribs, I begin to laugh loudly, to kick and to scratch, to squeal and to jump! Therefore if you will give me massage and you will tickle me, you will feel like a cowboy on a wild undomesticated mare on the rodeo! :) . By the way Darrell, are you ticklish? Do you snore? (Forgive me for this question. Do not answer, if you do not want. Maybe one day I will find out all this all the same! :)).
Will you sing serenades for me? I would be happy if you would sing serenades and songs for me! I would remunerate you by kisses! :) .
Darrell I should finish the letter. I must do much so that you had an opportunity to give me massage and to get the massage from me! :) . Please, write me because now I need you and your letters very very strongly, because I worry so much...

All your, Mariya.

Letter 19

Hi my Darrell! Thank you for your letter. I am so happy. Thoughts about you calm my heart. You don't know how all your words are important for me.
I know what emotion you write me with, and your emotions caress my heart.
And I know hundreds words, that could help me to tell you how you are important, dear and wonderful for me now. And I am so waiting for the day when I will be able to tell you all these words, being face to face - looking into your eyes. I am so waiting for that a moment - when I will see your smile and I will read in your smile all your thoughts and feelings.
And now my heart enjoys fine feeling - feelings of awaiting and hope that one day our meeting will come true. And sometimes it is simply impossibly to express by means of only words all shades of joy. How it is difficult sometimes to express in simple combination of words and phrases all the depth and passion of feelings; how it is difficult to express by means of lifeless letters all tenderness, how difficultly to describe the warm wave of feelings which overflows me every day, every minute, every instant - when I am thinking of you Darrell! Any words cannot replace a glance and a smile, any words are not able to replace tenderness of touch.

Darrell I so waited for this opportunity to write you, because I wanted very much to tell you that I has happened something bad, unfortunately.
Maybe I shouldn't tell you, but I was so frightened, that I cannot hold it inside.
Today at night when I slept, I have suddenly heard a terrible sound of a breaking glass! I at once have woken up but I could not understand anything absolutely. And at this moment, right into my room has flown a brick; and having broken the window-glass, this brick has fallen in several centimeters from me. I so strongly was frightened, I could understand nothing and simply instinctively I have rushed onto a floor and have hidden under my bed. And at this moment other stones has flown into my room, breaking windows and glasses in my apartment. I shouted and cried.
I at all did not know what to do. Stones could not strike me because my bed protected me. But I have been frightened so, that I simply has closed my ears by my hands and cried. In absolute darkness several stones broke windows and fell near to me. Then everything has stopped. But I continued to lay and cry. I was afraid even to look out from under a bed. Never in my life I was so frightened. After some time I nevertheless have risen from under a bed. I have looked thru the broken window but of course I haven't seen there anybody. I do not understand who did it and why. I have run to Juliya and I have seen that other windows are broken as well. And not only in my house, but in some other houses as well. I could not fall asleep this night anymore. I do not know who did it. Juliya say that probably it was young addicts who simply had a fun, because if someone would really want to cause to us physical harm, they could simply enter our apartments.
But I really don't understand why someone did it. I afraid to remain at home, I feel lost and I do not want to belive that such bad things happens if this World. If you were close I could feel safe, but we are thousand miles away. Now first of all I need now is to fix the windows, and probably I can solve it.. For now the windows is not restored I shall be to live at brother.
Well, Darrell I want to finish my letter with good thoughts. And I will tell you something good! I want to tell you about my feelings to you, if you know, how speedy beat my heart when I am walking here with hope to get your letter, as child looking forward to getting her birthday present. You gave me hope, you born feelings in my heart, I want you to know that I fall in love with you, and I miss you I fall in love with you, and I fall in love more strong!
Be with me in your thoughts. I will think of you, so please, think of me as well. "You are an Angel" - TI ANGEL!

With all my tenderness.

Your Mariya.

Letter 20

Hi my prince Darrell!!!! How I am glad to receive your letter. Thank you very much. Your letters is good support these days, it is necessary for me,
To me is difficult because of the past events. Now I live in an house of the Boris's while restore windows. I must admit Darrell I feel truly comfortably only if I have received your letter.
I wanna to embrace you right now so you can feel my Heart ;) The weather here is colder!
What about your area Darrell? How is the weather there now?
Oh, Darrell at once I want to tell that Besides prowhose I have collected almost all characteristics and petitions from people. Now I will have a meeting with the notary at notary office to legalize all documents.
Boris was able to agree with municipal department. Now he must get all documents about my family and me. Of course contrary to my expectations not all people are unselfish, but the main thing is that we will get these documents.
The rest is not the most important.
You know I live at the brother and I spend some time with our friends.
My relatives are very happy, you know they like that we comunicate with you, My brother and girlfriends say to you Hi! Today in dreams I saw my parents. My parents were very good people and Mum always gave me "free of choice" mum told me in the past: "Mariya, it is your life, you can try everything you want, you can find love, just know that I and your The father in heavens want you to be happy" I loved my parents.
So sad they are not with us now.
Well, we walk all the time now and enjoy it season. I think it is very important to spend some time on the open air. Well, my mood is very fine now, I know that soon we will go to open air together, it would begreat Darrell :)
Looking forward to be with you this night In my dreams :)

With Love and Kisses
Your Mariya.

Letter 21

Hi, my Darrell! My dear, excuse, for a delay of the answer! I even do not know what to tell first. I simply hope that you will be happy! The most important, finest news - I did it! I got the visa! I am very happy Darrell!!!!
My prince I have not stopped on it and later we with my girlfriend at whom I have stopped in Kiev have gone to office of this airline, company that reserves airway tickets. I asked them how I can reach Bishop and how much it costs. They've told me that the roundtrip flight to your airport cost 2187 US dollars. It was too expensive for me and I've asked them to find the cheapest variant. And they've offered. It would be on the February 17 I have learned, that cost of tickets up to in one party will make 685 dollars, I was wondered if it was possible to reserve a ticket and to pay for it a part of the funds this time and the other part later, because other people can buy the cheap ticket and I'm not. But they've refused and I was in despair! I've asked them to help me so long time that tears have come to my eyes! And they've agreed! I have learned, that now return tickets are necessary for the proof of that I independently can return to Ukraine.
But there is an opportunity to change return the ticket on money in your country, or to change date. To me have told, that if will take return tickets the discount at a rate of 5% is given, it turns out that 685+685=1370 dollars and will subtract 5% these are 68 dollars that will make 1302 dollars, but still it is necessary to add to this sum of 10% from cost for registration of tickets and meal, it will turn out 1432 dollars, 6:45 am Depart Kiev (KBP)
Arrive Bishop International Airport (FNT) 8:40 pm Wed 17 February
The dollar exchange rate has fallen in our country and it is the cheapest tickets of an economic class, is cheaper a way to arrive to you I is not present. It was the best variant for me. They have told that I can pay a part of money now, and the other part later. it is possible, but I will be limited by term. And if I will not pay the full cost of the ticket within of this term, I will lose already nested money. I have agreed because it is the only chance for me, because I must give to anti-emigration committee a data about my payment. By this moment I had only the concrete sum of money which I had after all my expenses. I paid 770 USD. But it was not enough for them. In a panic, all what and I could do - I pawned my gold earrings and rings In a pawnshop and I got 178 USD. That is all I could do.
I know that probably I simply must tell that I can't come to you because I haven't the remaining sum. I know that I promised to do all by self, and I was sure that I can. I did not want to ask you. But after I did everything I did, I cannot simply tell that I will not come to you. I have passed through so many difficulties, and I have overcome the most difficult.
But all the same I have disgusting feeling that I could not fulfill the promise.
I am always ready to do all what is possible,- to fulfill my promises, but at the same time I understand that any person could get in such a situation.
To get the visa and all papers I have spent much more money than I expected.
But people were ready to help me only if I will pay them. I paid more than 500 dollars to get all documents, I paid in municipal committee, in the ministry. Even officers in army garrison have compelled me to pay for their help. I did not expect all this, but up to the last moment I was sure that I still can make everything. I expected that I can get a vacation payment. But I have received only a part. We get other part a vacation payment in three weeks. Besides, I have been compelled to buy new windows for my apartment. But I cannot leave my apartment with broken windows. And of course I have been compelled to pay much for it. I feel so guilty. I was sure that nothing can prevent our meeting. But I must pay remaining sum. It is 481 USD. And I must pay funds before February 15, morning. Otherwise I will lose my nested funds and our jewelry will be sold out simply in vain. I know that I should not ask you, and I am very ashamed to do it. And maybe I really simply had to tell you that I can't meet with you because I could not provide my travel completely.
But I cannot simply refuse our meeting because then all my diligence, forces, nerves, means will be spent in vain. I understand that it is big sum to lend me. You are not obliged to help me. And 500 dollars which I have spent to get the visa, and 948 $ that I have given for the ticket also I restored a windows in an apartment before departure. It all are huge funds for me. But I want you to know that I have given everything not for the sake of myself, but for the sake of us, for the sake of you and me. And I was happy all this time. If you want to meet me, to help me to make our meeting, please, transfer funds to the help before February 15, morning.
I do not know if you want to help me or already not.
But i think you have told that I should let you know if there is anything you can do to help me. I believe you even though I am afraid to ask. But I have no other exit. I need you Darrell. If you can help me I will tell you what I have found out. Here we have remittance system.
And I have addressed to the most convenient bank. I have been told that they use the systems "WesternUnion" and "MoneyGram". They have told that it is the American systems. And there I can receive your help very fast and I will be absolutely safety. You should transfer them into any office(bank) here in Kiev for Mariya Agatina. For an example, near there is a Office: Privatbank. Frunze St. 104a Kiev, 04080
My home registration address: Ukraine; Kiev. str. Yridika 10-15 code:80600.
I send you the view of my visa. If the additional data will be necessary for you. There I have been told, that to get the money, we must tell to employee of bank(agent) your full name, your full address, exact sum which I should receive and some confidential numbers - Reference Number.
You will get this number in your office if you will send your help.
Only with presence of all this information I can get your help. Also hey have told that funds it is possible to send online through a site WesternUnion.com And I will give you back all your funds at the earliest opportunity probably in 2-3 weeks. I think about you Darrell all the time! I think about a meaning of funds, and I'm very sad if these papers can prevent people to meet each other. In most cases the funds play a main role in the life but it's not right! I do not know what answer I will get from you Darrell. I very much am afraid that you will not help me. But I want to tell, that I really need you, and I simply can't endure the thought that I did almost everything, but I will not meet you. I have given all my forces, but together we are stronger. Are you with me?

Write to me soon!
With love, Your Mariya.

ps Darrell I hope you were really capable to hear message from me, left on your answering machine, and to understand my English:) It is a pity, that it was not possible to speak, but I was glad, that is capable to dialing!