Letter(s) from Alena Savochkina to Clifford (UK)

Letter 1

I read your structure on the Internet. I very badly understand on the Internet.
The manager who works in the Internet - cafe helped to find you.
I have become interested in your structure. Please tell to me more about you, and your interests.
I shall seat a little about myself. My name is Alena. My age of 28 years. I
Are the serious girl. I wish to get acquainted with the good person.
Me the age in the person does not interest. For me the main thing, what person, its shower and character.
For me main - heart of the person! I wish to construct serious attitudes.
I think, that you person whom I search. I hope, that you do not reject me, and
Will answer the letter. I send you my photo. If I have interested to you, write to me on the mail box alekali1@yahoo.com
I shall hope my letter was not vain, and you write to me the letter of returning and yours

Letter 2

Hello, my dear friend Cliff!
Thanks for your fine photo. I shall be glad to receive other your photos. My name is Alena. I like the name Alena most of all. Do you like my name? I hope that yes... You know, it is my first experience of the Internet - acquaintances. I have never done it earlier. But I have the great occasion to do it.I very badly understand the Internet.
I was helped by the manager in the Internet-cafe. Therefore I cannot precisely recollect on what website I you saw. Once I’ll tell you about it!!! I have always lived in a small city , practically in a village. It’s a very beautiful place! As soon as I had finished my school, I left my city for studying. I have graduated for a long time ago and now I work and live independently in Zainsk(Kirovskaya Oblast). Zainsk is also a very beautiful city. It’s a typical Russian city. Houses, parks, prospectuses and churches. I really got used to live here. I have my work, friends and my independence. I appreciate my independence very much. I was born on the August, 23th, 1981. To my mind, it’s a good age for a young lady. My growth is 170 sm, my weight is 55 kg. I’m slim. I like sports. In my opinion, a girl should keep fit. It keeps body and health both! I send you my photo. You can see my appearance. You know, I’m not so photogenic. My photos are not usually so nice. But they are necessary to see a partner for changing correspondence. I hope, you like my photo. By the way, I’ll also wait for your photos. It is rather important and interesting to me. My sing of the zodiac is Lion. But I feel that I am not a typical Lion. Many of Lion are cruel people. But, I’m a quiet person. I like pleasant and gentle music. Besides, I like to watch sensitive films. I have some friends. And I spend much of my free time with them. I’ve good sense of humor and like to laugh at good jokes. I have no bad habits; I don’t smoke and take no alcohol. I think a girl shouldn’t have any bad habits. My parents are doctors. So I know about the harm, what brings nicotine and alcohol. My mum is a children's doctor. My daddy is an ambulance surgeon. I am the only child in the family. I would like to have the brother or sister but I realize that it’s too late. I work as a lawyer in small lawyer’s consultation. We don’t have many clients.
Our work is really hard, because every person is different. That’s why I have to explain some things many times. But I like my job. I get good experience at my job. I hope I’ll work at a good lawyer’s consultation or firm soon. I have made it my aim! And I must reach it!
I have no computer at home. Only at my work, but in other cabinet. But that computer has no access to the Internet. That’s why I’ll have to go to an Internet cafe to write you a letter. It is convenient for me.
All O.k.! Probably I’ll finish for today. The letter turned out to be really HUGE!!!Unfortunately I can not write such letters. I would like to tell so much in the letter. May be you’re tired of reading it…sorry. I’m waiting for your reply. I’m waiting and hope. Hope to be interesting for you. Alena

Letter 3

HELLO Cliff!
Thanks a lot for your reply for my letter. I should tell you again how pleasant it is for me to get letters from you. Pleasant to realize the fact, that you’re interested of me. So, let’s continue… Let’s continue our acquaintance. I think I should tell you about my reason of searching in Internet. I have promised to do it. O.k. I have never believed in changing correspondence. I have never believed in opportunity to find a love in Internet. It seemed to be impossible. I thought it was just a game for people. I have never noticed sincerity and feelings in it. Have never wished to see it. And all has changed casually! It happens often, when an occasion changes everything. I have the closest and the best friend Elena. She always was an adventurous, courageous, cheerful and even a desperate person. Elena never was afraid of anything new and interesting. In a secret of me she addressed in an agency. I didn’t know anything for a long time.
And once she told me everything. Everything about her act and her LOVE. I was shocked. It turned out that Elena had mate a man. John!
They had fallen in love promptly. Had fallen in love through letters.
Had fallen in love for ever. My friend took her suitcase and dashed away. Dashed away, towards her destiny. Contrary to my affairs and speeches. Contrary to all!!!!!!Some months later I was a bride’s friend at their wedding. Yes! They got married. They are absolutely happy and have a child now. Elena and John is an ideal pair. An ideal family. Certainly somebody can say that no ideal exists and the love is a myth. Somebody can not to trust and doubt. But I know this family, I saw their eyes, which were full of love. I saw the tears of happiness in John’s eyes when they danced at their wedding. It seems to be a fairy tale. A fairy tale of 21 century! But it is truth, truth and life... Elena’s example made me to reflect. Made me to act. I know, there is a lot of lie and a deceit in the Internet. I know many different people and stories in Internet. There is a lot of all! But I SEE the happiest love. The love what has arisen there. In the letters, in the expectation and in the dreams. So it’s my"absolutely especial" reason to search my love. To search in Internet. To hope, dream and to believe. To believe in love... I like the Chinese proverb "accidents are not occasional". There is nothing occasional in human’s life.
Every act, thought or action is an appropriateness. Probably now begins «the store of my love». Time will show! Cliff, today I’ll say goodbye. I will wait for your letter. I’ll look forward for it. And I’d like to ask at the end of my letter, what QUALITIES do you search in you partner. What do you wait for?
And that you do not want from this search? GOOD LUCK for you! GOOD LUCK! Your new friend Alena!......

Letter 4

Hello, Cliff!
I’m so glad to read your mail again! And to answer you! Our acquaintance continues and develops. I think it’ll be interesting to you to learn more about my family. Well, my family is my daddy, mum and my lovely granny! My parents are doctors, you know it already. I’m the only child in our family. My childhood was the most fantastic and brilliant! I have grown in a very beautiful place. There was a beautiful garden round. The garden blossomed each spring. I looked at those flowers and it seemed to me that I lived in a fairy tale. When I was 4 I told my mum- "I will fall in love only in the spring! When gardens will blossom!" And everybody laughed. I have grown up in atmosphere, which was full of love. My parents never swore, I don’t remember any scandals. My daddy was always kind and careful! He liked to please me and my mum. My granny was very kind and cooked well. Her dishes are so tasty that it’s impossible to describe. My mum and granny taught me to cook. My granny says "the natural woman should be a gourmet!" That’s why I can perfectly prepare any meal. I treat very attentively to food and health. Now I live along. But the experience I got in my family is always with me! I visit often my parent and granny. I adore them, but I must have my private life now. Once all of us will grow up. And we must choose own way. I realize, that relations are very difficult. It’s not easy to be by other person’s side. But if you take care of him and respect him, everything will be o.k. So, I answer the question, what qualities of a partner are important for me.
I can say that there are many. Every moment is an opportunity to show oneself’s care. An opportunity to show attention. Our life is not the eternal! I’d like to have by my side a careful, reliable and kind man.
A man who’ll respect me. Respect my force and my weakness in one tine.
The trust is the most important thing for me. Without any trust everything is impossible: work, friendship, love. Trust is a ground, basis…I wish to be careful and gentle. I’m a very true person. It’s not a farce. It is truth. I don’t understand and don’t accept any treachery. I hope, you will agree with my principles. Am I right?
Cliff, I’d like to thank you again for your letters. Probably I repeat. But it’s very pleasant to me to write it. Thanks! It’s very important to feel attention, important to realize that some other person is interested in you. It’s important not to be lonely, lonely in thoughts and dreams. Thank you for your attention and patience when you read my letter!!!!Sometimes I write much. I just want to tell and ask all. It is important and interesting to me to find answers to questions. GOOD LUCK! Luck for you for all the time. I’ll wait for your reply. Yours Alena

Letter 5

Hello my dear friend Cliff!
May be I should write more today about myself. About me, Alena!I s it interesting to you? I’m a calm person, like new acquaintances. But I’m selective and I’ll not communicate with everyone. My friends say, that I’m very cheerful. And I know it myself! I like to smile, like cheerful und open people. I like free and easy communication. I’ll also write about my hobbies and everyday life. So, I’m a lower. I work and live independently. I live with my friends Olga and Katja. We rent a flat together. It’s convenient, funny and nor so expansive. Besides my favorite work I have so hobbies. The first one, what I have since my childhood, is reading. It was my favorite activity all the time. I like to read very much. Classic, poems, magazines, articles for my work. I read everything. I find it really exiting( that’s why I write so much!!!) I like sport, fitness! I can’t imagine my life without sport! I always was sporty at school and university. I liked competishions. I take care about my beauty and health. I think, you like it? I girl must be healthy and sporty, don’t you think so? I also like productive leisure. Walks. Sometimes we walk in a park with girls. It’s so beautiful! There are manual fibers in our park. Many people take nuts and feed them. They have already got used to it. I also try to feed them, but vain. I want so much a fiber to take my nut, wait and wait, but nothing…The girls laugh at me but I continue to hope, Probably once I’ll be lucky. I like to bath and have a rest near water in summer. It’s very pleasant and helps to relax. In general, a person should be able to have a rest to work hard then. Any other my hobby is cooking. I’ve written you, that my mum and granny taught to cook me. But I continue to improve it. I attended chef’s courses last year. I learned to cook traditional Russian food. It’s so interesting and tasty! I indulge my friend often: I prepare a new meal and we make "a feast of day!"I’d like to do it with my family in future. Husband, children…You know, the meal is always testier when you cook it for sweethearts and with love!... I always forget to tell you about my English, I don’t now it fluent. That’s why sorry if you don’t understand something. O.k.? I hope you! Bye bye! Alena

Letter 6

Hello dear! Hello, Cliff! Alena is here How are you? I hope you are fine! I am glad that you have written me a letter! I like your letters! Your letters give me much pleasure. I like to read it. We have written each other already some letters. Now we know each other better. It’s well, because we have found common interests. We continue our communication and it’s really interesting to me. I have told you so little about my life. But sometimes it seems to me, that I write you too much. Now I’ll try to write not so huge letters. I’ll learn to do it. You already know about my family and hobbies. I think it’ll be interesting to you to learn about my work.
You know. I’m a lowyer. I decided to become a lawyer in the 5 form. I watched a film and saw an interesting litigation. I liked as the lawyer told beautiful speeches. I have laid down to myself the aim to become a lawyer. And I have reached this purpose! My favorite school lessons were history, low and literature. I also liked physical training. I continued my studying at the university. I entered the lawyer’s faculty. It was one of the most prestigious faculties. It’s very difficultly to enter it. I studied hard and I had good knowledge, that’s why I have entered this faculty free of charge. I had fine student's years! It was great time! I have graduated from the lawyer’s faculty and work has found at once. I’d like to become a good lawyer.
That’s why I work much, because I should find a good work. I should provide myself financially. Now I earn not much. My earning is modest for a lawyer. (I’m a young expert.) But this money allows me to live independently. I am proud of my independence. I think, you will agree with me!? But I do not dream any more about grandiose career of a lawyer. My priorities have exchanged now. I cannot dream only about my career and work! I know when I have a husband I will give more time to my family. And I will work less. A woman should be a good mistress and a wife. It is the most important career for the woman! I’d to take care of my family, of my sweetheart. But now I should work much. After work I go to internet-cafe. It is already my new habit! I really enjoy this time after work. When I can sit in cafe and write you. I am glad of our communication; it’s very interesting to me to know better.
Cliff, write me more often if it is possible... O'K? Now I have to go home. I try to go to Internet cafe more often. And I’m always glad when I see your letter. And I am upset if I don’t see your letter.
That’s why I want you to write me always! My spirits rise when I read your letter! I’m looking forward your next letter!! Alena from Russia.

Letter 7

Hello! Hello! Hello!!!
Cliff, your Alena is here again!!! Here again is your new girlfriend from far Russia. Cliff, today I had an interesting and pleasant day.
Everything has begun in the morning. The weather was magnificent – the shining sun and the blue sky. Such the high and infinite sky. In the morning I have woken up, have looked in a window and it was wonderful.
The morning sun has shined houses and streets. Everything seemed to be unusual, fantastic. I thought - "it’s so beautiful! A good beginning of day...."... It was a surprise on my work. Today was the day of the basis of our firm. It was an anniversary of our firm - 10 years! (I really didn’t remember this date.) We had a celebratory dinner - a banquet. All girls - to employees were presented with a bunch of flowers! It was a beautiful bouquet of white roses. By the way, this is my favorite flower! It was unexpected and very pleasant... On a banquet I drank a glass of champagne. I don’t drink any alcohol, but one glass I drank. We talked much and cheerfully and laughed. Then we ate a pie and sweets. Today my work has ended earlier. All employees went home very joyful. I took my bouquet and also went home. Then I decided to have a walk. After walk I went to Internet cafe. So I wanted to check up the letters. May be you have written to me!?! And I have received the letter. It’s so pleasant. Your letter of today is a part of my magic day. The whole day was full of pleasant of emotions.
The whole day was like a fairy tale. A wonderful morning, a banquet, flowers from the firm. Now your letter. Again your attention. I read your letter. I understand - you have written it only for me. Only for me. It so is interesting. So it is interesting and exiting. I receive your letters, I read them and I smile. I smile like a little girl.
Probably it is silly or it is very romantic. But today your letter is a part of my happiness. Yes! My day today is successful.
Morning-day-evening. Everything was so pleasant. And your letter. It’s also very pleasant moment for today. I cannot find a word to describe this sensation.
When you wait, worry and receive SOMETHING.... Thanks!
Cliff, I hope your day was also impressing I also want to wish you good luck for tomorrow to be happy tomorrow morning. Please, recollect my wish. Recollect , when you’ll wake up. When you will look through a window, recollect about me. I wish to present you a part of my HAPPINESS. Happiness which I have received today..... I say goodbye, GOOD LUCK for you! Be happy!!!!

Letter 8

Cliff, I again write you the letter... Again I write. And it gives me much pleasure every time. The moment of communication with you!!! I hope you ‘re also very glad to read my letter? And I’m interesting for. Today I had an interesting situation. I have woken up and prepared a usual breakfast for me. I prepared a breakfast and absolutely unexpectedly thought about you! Yes, about you!!! I have recollected you. But not just recollected, I asked myself: "it is interesting, what breakfast does Cliff like!?!" It became interesting to me to know about your morning. How do you spend the morning!? What spirits do you have in the morning!? Do you prefer tea or coffee? I suddenly felt such a strong interest. Even without the letter, without visit to Internet cafe. I just unexpectedly thought about you Cliff!
Absolutely unexpectedly. I even have smiled. It was pleasant to me to reflect about you and your a breakfast. Then I had a look at mine a bouquet which had presented me my firm. Do you remember, I wrote you about a holiday at my work? Such beautiful and gentle roses. I thought about you again. This bouquet is an association with the romanticist.
Not with work! With the romanticist, with you. You’re the most romantic and interesting part in my life now. I don’t rest any hopes, it’s still very much early . Cliff, I not a thoughtless lady, who rushes to any relations, no! I simply like our BEGINNING. The beginning of our relations. In the morning when a person wakes up , he gets emotions for all day. Pleasure or grief. Excitement or calmness.
My morning emotions are thoughts about you. Interest about Cliff.
Interest and a smile. Once I can probably present this SMILE for you.
And I can see your smile. I am assured we will communicate for a long time. In due course you’ll learn much new. I will tell how I spent my day. I will tell how I had a rest. I wrote you that I never communicated on the Internet. You are the first person. And I do not know how comes a changing of correspondence between two people. And we are so far away from each other! But I think we will find the right way of communication! And I hope we have already found the right way of communication! Do you agree with me? I like to communicate with you very much!! Good luck for you! My SMILE is for you! Yours Alena.....

My address: street Sovetskaya, the house 34, Apartment 17,
My city: Zainsk
Mine of the countries: Russia
Post code: 423522

Letter 9

Hello Cliff!
I feel my life to become more interesting, because I communicate with such an interesting person! I communicate with you! Thanks you, you make my life interesting! I met with my friends now. I have told them about you. My friends noticed happiness in my eyes. And I told them, I was lucky enough because I communicate with a very interesting person.
Earlier I tried not to speak about our correspondence. But now girls asked me, because they had guessed, as if I had a secret! And I have told, my secret is Cliff!!! It is impossible to hide even a small happiness in somebody’s eyes! I wrote you about my parents, about my family. They are the most appreciated people in a human’s life. And I’ve recollected I have not told you about my friends. They are people, who I appreciate the most after my parents. Unfortunately, my parents and family are far away from me now. But my friends are always near me. They are always with me! I wish to tell to you about my best friends. I have two best friends. My best friend is Katya. We are always together, because we work together. My second friend is Olga.
Olga works as the economist. She is the manager of a small firm. We spend our free time usually together. When there is a good weather, we walk. We go to the cinema together. Tell me about your friends too.
Friends always help in our difficult time. Friends are the major part of our life. I will be glad to learn your friends. Because if we meet sometime (I hope we will meet once!), I’m assured, I’ll get acquainted with your friends. Therefore I wish to know them better now. Cliff, have you already told your friends about me, about our correspondence?
What do they speak? Tell to me also, how do you prefer to spend your free time. I have told you I like to walk with my friends. I do not visit night clubs. My last visit in night club was many months ago. I do not like night club, because drunk men begin importune. I left the night club at once. And I did not appear there. I am a serious girl.
And I do not communicate from men, who need only entertainment. We visit a cafe sometimes. When there is cold weather we go to a cafe. We like to drink hot coffee and eat tasty cakes. And we have long conversations about our life. The usual female conversations :) But now I spend my free time in a new way. I go to Internet cafe and I write you a letter. It gives me much pleasure!! I feel now : my life starts to change. There are pleasant changes for me. I should go. I’ll wait for your letter soon! I’m looking forward your letter! Alena

Letter 10

Hellooooo my Cliff!!!
Alena! Alena! Alena writing the letter for Cliff!! Today was a very , very difficult day. Work! Work, sometimes I hate my work. Do not think, as if I am an idler. No. It’s pleasant for me to be useful for people, pleasant to work. But sometimes I get tired. I get tired very strongly. And today is such a day! There were very many people. It was so many documents and conversations - consultations. I think, sometimes everybody does not like his job. It happens such minutes, when you are ready to leave and to throw all. I think even stars of Hollywood sometimes get tired. Although their work is not to be compared with ours! And an earning too - Ha-ha!!! But now I’m in Internet cafe, have read your letter, and it was very pleasant for me again. Was pleasant your attention. It so is romantic - to read letters... You know, at once everything left me, remained behind: vanity of a day, my work and office, weariness and sad thoughts. All leaves - when I read your letters. I cannot understand: "why!????...
Why does it so occur.... it happens!" But it is the fact. I can admit again, that all changes around, when I’m here. I am forgotten, I’m completely in dreams. Cliff , I’m interesting, how does it occur. Our life varies, varies by one movement. CLick! CLick! And something new opened. Something attracting and unknown. CLick! And the new reality appeared in front of me. I’m not in my world any more, I’m already in front of you. I read about you, your day, your friends, your mood. I read and learn you. Also I realize: I like to do it. It is an other life. It is not compared with what was earlier. I already wrote you, I feel something especial to you. CLick! And I’m in your world! Cliff, I’d like to ask - that is our correspondence for you? How serious are you? I do not want to offend you. But it is important for me to know it. No, I do not doubt about you. I just wish to know ALL about you and your emotions. I wish to ask - Cliff, what has changed in your life, when I’d appeared? You know, I am a very serious girl. Sometimes I seem to be too romantic, naive. But I’m a serious person. Cliff, you are interesting to me. And probably very interesting. (I do not want to play. I do not want to waste time and hope. I do not want to break my heart). I feel the interest to YOU! Cliff! That’s why I’d like to know – WHO am I for you? How much am I important for you. I am not a thoughtless lady who rushes in any correspondence or relations. I have no time for it. No time and desires. I wish to be fair with you. I wish to be Especial for you , because, you are pleasant to me. It’s not love, no. It’s only the beginning. And for me it is a very special beginning of relations. I did not have such emotions earlier. I’ll wait for your reply. I very hope to get it soon.... GOOD LUCK... Alena

Letter 11

Cliff!!!! Alena is here again...
Dear, it is very pleasant to me to receive video. At you very beautiful city.So, we continue our correspondence. We continue our conversation. Thanks for your reply and your words. I’m completely agree. Today I’m writing you an unusual letter. Why unusual? It is my the tenth letter to you! Yes, the tenth letter. I can congratulate you with our small anniversary! I wrote ten letters, ten times I wrote you about my life, about my thoughts and emotions. You know, Cliff, I have reflected about my a question., what I asked you !" How has my life changed after the beginning of changing correspondence? Our correspondence ". We are not so long familiar. It is not years and months. It is only weeks , days. It is not a personal acquaintance. It is only correspondence. But, what has changed????!!! Very much has changed. Probably once will change ALL! I do not joke, Cliff. Much has exchanged for me.A new person appeared in my life. A new man. This is very handsome man. This is an interesting and special for me man. He is mine secret! I feel attention and interest of this man. I feel his care. I impatiently wait for our meetings, for our correspondence meetings. I wait for his letters. I wait and I worry. If today there is no letter from him. Or once he will not write at all. I have hopes and I have dreams. Small dream - absolutely small... And very gentle.
I dream to be a special for this man. I dream to touch his feelings, to mention his heart. I dream to be unique for him. I dream to hope! I dream about a certain secret which will be the most gentle secret for us once. May be it is too little - ten letters. May be it is absolutely anything, emptiness... But for me it is the first step! For me it is a shy hope and a gentle dream. For me this is beginning. What will be in the future??! Certainly I do not know now, what expects me - I can just dream and hope. But now I have interest and care of the wonderful man. And this man is YOU Cliff!!!! You know, I’m interested in the culture of the East. I like their philosophy and wisdom. I read much about it. There is a remarkable proverb in the East. A proverb is about time in human life: "the past is forgotten, the approaching is closed, the present is granted!!!" The present is granted - what a beautiful phrase. The person should enjoy each minute of his life, enjoy now, during this moment. It so is wise! I hope, you will agree with me. It is wise and beautiful. And I enjoy. I enjoy your letters, your attention, I enjoy you, your presence in my life. And these are only ten letters. There are only ten drops from the sea of hope and dream. It is only our correspondence acquaintance! The most interesting is ahead. Well, today I will finish it. I hope you are not got tired of my reasoning, of my maiden reasoning. I VERY GRATEFUL to you. You do my life more interestingly, more bright and give me the moments for dreams. Yours Alena. I hope only yours and for ever....

Letter 12

Cliff! Hello! You can give me your phone number. I shall search for a way to call.
Your princess is writing you again. Princess Alena. I feel, as I’m a princess. These sensations give me your letters, your words and your care. I can confidently tell, that I live in a fairy tale,in the finest fairy tale. And you are my prince! I have many ideas and dream about our future. And all of these ideas are very beautiful and romantic. Yesterday when I was at my work I reflected. I thought about you, recollected your letter, My colleague called me, but I did not hear. I was called again. Only on the third time I turned my head and heard. Olga joked and told - "you probably have fallen in love, flies above heaven !".... I smiled.... Cliff, I’m really flying above heaven.
I constantly think about you. I cannot stop this communication. My thoughts are full of you. Sometimes it frightens me. Frightens distance between us. I do not want to lose this thread which connects us. I do not want and cannot. But it is a very thin thread. It is only letters, which are fine, romantic and gentle. But only letters! A person cannot live only in letters. A human’s life is unique and should be real!!! It is impossible to lose even a moment of this life.
My life now is in these letters. You are in letters. My life is you and our dream. My greatest dream is to see your eyes, but in a photo.
I want to look in your eyes to see ALL your love and tenderness. I want to look in your eyes and to smile. I want my smile to reflecte in them!!! I dream about this moment when once I can present you my SMILE! And not only a smile HHHH. You are the most special man in my life!!!! I wait for your letter! Miss you! Your princess.

Letter 13

Here is again yours Alena!!!
My love, I am so happy now to read your letter again!!!.Thanks for your phone number. I shall search for a way to call to you. To be in your life again. To have a possibility to communicate with you again.
It is a real happiness for me. Last night I went with friends to cafe.
We talked, laughed. Then we went home on foot. It was a beautiful evening. Very beautiful sky and stars. I thought about you, about your evening. What didyou do???? How was your spirit ?... I felt grief.
Suddenly I have that you were not present. You were not present by my side. My friends are by my side, we talk. But I’m alone! I’m lonely.
Everything has changed around. I felt a weight of emptiness, a weight of loneliness, a weight of my freedom. I understood: I do not want to be along, I do not want to have freedom. I do not want anything if there are no you!!! It was minute of sensation, just an emotion. One minute!!! But it turned my world. I have never felt such a feeling. My heart stopped for a moment. It was a strange and very strong sensation. Even more often I think about us. What is further??? What waits us in the future!? I’m looking forward to hearing the answer. I hate distance which divides us. I hate these kilometers and miles. I am afraid to lose you. I am afraid to be without you, without your attention. I am afraid of this uncertainty. I start to worry, if there are no letters or the Internet cafe is closed, if I come not in time after my work in Internet cafe. But I’m here. You are far. How painfully it is to realize it! My heart is broken off by two feelings - love and fear. It is improbable, unreal and unearthly love. The love which, grows every day!!! The love which, has appeared from is no place. Love, which is so necessary for me. A fear. The fear to lose it. The fear to be here and to be lonely. It is a little bit sad letter. But I hope you understand the reason of my grief. I have always waited for love! I am glad to get each of your letters, but a letter is only aletter. I love you! Write me soon... Alena

Letter 14

Today I want to write a serious and important letter. My dear, I not against if you will arrive to me. But, I wish to tell to you one thing. It is very dangerous. In Russia it is a lot of gangsters, and thieves. I do not want that you were in danger. It will be safe, if I shall arrive to you. You agree with me.Important for me, and important for you. Important for us. I reflected long yesterday about us and about our future. What do we have and what expects us???? We have wonderful correspondence: kind, gentle, beautiful and careful letters.
We het wonderful emotions every day. We dream much. But actually we haven’t anything. Anything! It is just letters, it is just dreams. It is not a reality, it is not a life. Cliff, I adore your letters. You really changed my world. You touched my heart, presented beautiful dream to me. But it is impossible to correspond eternally. It is impossible to live only for the sake of letters. It is impossible to live in illusion. Letters. Letters. What give us letters, except reflexions and hopes??? Letters cannot embrace. Letters cannot give a kiss. Letters can not touch my hand and present a smile. Letters are not you. I want to be with you. I looked for the man for a real life.
That’s why I think, that our time has come. There is no sense further to write and write letters. It is silly. It is silly to waste the time and to fly above heaven. We should check up our relations. We should check up our feelings. We can write one million beautiful words. But only the real meeting is able to change our life. Only the real meeting will give us a chance to realize everything, to understand force of our emotions, to understand our prospects. I hope, you understand me!!??? I cannot live more without you. I cannot just dream any more. I wish to act. Cliff, soon I’ll have my holiday, my vacation. It is very soon. I can and I would liketo arrive to you. It is very important for me. I think for you too!? We should meet, meet in a real life, talk, walk, be together. Love!!! We should find our way to our future. I do not want to waste time, to wait and to suffer in loneliness. I do not want to be alone. I am afraid to lose you.
When I will arrive, I can see your life, your world. I hope it will be soon, when your world become my world. That’s why I should take this step towards our dream. All loses meaning if I cannot be with you together. These letters, these hopes. My life is empty without you!
That’s why I should be with you. I hope, you understand and agree. Do you accept my Idea about our meeting? What do you think about it? Do you want to have our meeting? It is not necessary to wait and write more than a letter. It is necessary to be together. To be TOGETHER!!!
I do not want to break my heart, I do not want to waste my time and hopes. I want to be with you!!!! ONLY WITH YOU! I’m waiting your letter very much. I hope, I wait and I worry. I love you!!! I love and wait! Yours and only yours Alena!....

P.S. My darling if you agree (I am assured you are agree). I can go to a travel agency tomorrow. I’d like to learn about conditions of my travel to you. I do not want to lose even one day. I want to be only with you. I am assured, only you can make me happy. Please, write me your opinion. Should I go to a travel agency and learn about my travel to you? I’d like to get an exact answer. I think you can understand me. I hope you!

Letter 15

My darling Cliff! Hi!
Kiss you! Kiss you my dear! This really pleasant feeling to come to the Internet-cafe, and to read your letters. I with pleasure answer you. You my love! Kiss you! Kiss! Kiss! I cannot constrain myself to not kiss you! I wish to be with you! Only with you! I want make you the happiest in the world! This my desire! I think of you always. It is really difficult to be so far from you. It is a lot of ideas in my head! I wish to be with you, and to have fine walk in park! I wish to go to cinema with you for viewing romantic film! I wish to have supper with you at candles! This all is really wonderful! Because you will be with me! With you, I shall feel easy! I shall be the happiest girl in the world! This all owing to you! You my true love! You my angel keeper! I want, that so was always! We necessarily shall be happy together! It will be valid superb, to spend our free time together! We can do a lot of prophetic together! In our life there will be no words "You" or "I", it will be one word "WE"! You agree with me? I think it really wonderfully! We shall make all of the decision together! We shall be the happiest pair in the world! We shall be the strongest pair! Our love will live eternally! I love you all heart and soul!
Kiss you dearest Cliff! Kiss you my love! I with impatience shall wait for your following letter. I hope to receive it soon! Bye! Bye my heart!

Letter 16

Hello my Cliff!
How are you? I'm fine. I had very good mood before I descended in travel agency. As I already spoke you, I have decided to go to travel agency and to learn all that is necessary for me will arrive to you. I wished to learn what documents to me be required to arrive to your country. I have come to travel agency, I was very well met there by the manager. I have told to it my history. That I wish to arrive to you. It has understood me. Also has explained to me all. But I have been very upset by that to me the manager has told. I will need to do the visa in your country. And also the passport. But most of all me the price for all has upset it. The visa and the passport and the medical insurance cost 525 US dollars. When I have heard the price, to me it be not become bad nearly. I have asked again the manager still time. And it has confirmed that the visa and the passport and the medical insurance cost 525 US dollars. I at all did not know that to it to answer. It very much a greater sum of money for me. I do not have so much money. I do not know that to me to do. In fact my salary of only 105 dollars. I cannot do documents to arrive to you. I am very upset. I at all do not know that to you to tell. I so love you, that now I do not represent the life without you. I so wished to arrive to you. But now I think for me it it is impossible. I have learned as that the visa will be done 11 days. In 11 days when I shall begin to pay money, the visa will be ready. But while for me it only dreams.
While I do not have money to do my documents. I hope we together we can something do for our meeting. It is a pity to me that I have written to you today such sad letter. I shall wait from you the letter. I hope you me have understood. With love.
Yours Alena!